Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s not normal behaviour is it ?

21 replies

Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 18:16

Just had another argument with DP over something silly he was cleaning out the garden I had to leave to collect Dd he looked at me and said aren’t you going to help ? I had to leave so couldn’t ... I get back with a very hot and bothered 2 year old and he asks again for help I explained no I need to look after Dd he then said a very crappy sorry but proceeded to provoke me to the point I snapped and shouted he then called me an embarrassment for shouting infront of dd . He’s upstairs I had the fan on downstairs for me and dd he comes down to take it away so obviously I wasn’t impressed he then acts all calm and says why am I being angry saying he had tried to apologise ! He winds me up so much to the point I snap then he becomes a victim , anyone else’s “Dp” like this I feel like I’m going crazy

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 11/08/2020 18:20

If he wants to clean out the garden, he can. He can't expect you to drop everything and help. It's a non essential job to me but my partner sees it as essential. I respect that but he has the decency to crack on while I do meals, tidy, laundry etc. AKA actual essential jobs.

torpidcrystals · 11/08/2020 18:21

It's hot and everybody has a bit of a short fuse right now?

SummerHouse · 11/08/2020 18:21

Plus taking a fan you are using is massively passive aggressive argument enticing bullshit.

Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 18:23

@SummerHouse isn’t it ! I knew he was going to take it ! Selfish F*

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 11/08/2020 18:26

Everyone is hot and bothered right now and we’ve probably all said/done something in the ( literally) heat of the moment.
However, I’m feeling that there’s more to your situation than meets the eye.

Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 18:28

@1Morewineplease yeah it’s repeated behaviour

OP posts:
RandomWordsandaNumber5 · 11/08/2020 18:30

Taking the fan from you and your child seems very unpleasant.
What’s your relationship normally like?

Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 18:33

@RandomWordsandaNumber5 yeah it’s really upset me as he knows she hot and like many others we have struggled getting her to sleep in the heat etc he’s very selfish at times and provokes me into an argument then acts a victim but the other side of him is very loving

OP posts:
Ohtherewearethen · 11/08/2020 18:46

He sounds like he can only think of his own wants and needs and not those of you and your daughter. If he was hot he should have sat in the room with the fan like a big boy, not stropped in and snatched it away from the other two people in the house. He also didn't seem to realise that collecting your daughter was a priority for both you and her because his priority was clearing the garden. He really needs to start being able to think about others and realise the world doesn't revolve around him.

Throckmorton · 11/08/2020 18:59

If this isn't a one-off, why are you settling for this behaviour in a partner?

ShortColdandGrey · 11/08/2020 18:59

You should have said "If you remove that fan I will poke you in the eyeball". Selfish twat.

CoffeeAndDryShampoo · 11/08/2020 19:07

He took the fan away from his own child? I would go and get it back and tell the selfish man it's one thing to try and make me suffer in this heat but certainly not my child!

rookiemere · 11/08/2020 19:17

Oh this is so typical. Many men do not see a DC as work, because you put in loads of effort and often nothing materialises. Whereas tidying a garden is manly work. It begins untidy and ends differently.

He needs to start spending more time looking after DC.

Zaphodsotherhead · 11/08/2020 19:28

I had an ex who would pick and choose jobs and then act as if that job was the most important job in history and he HAD to do it. Like mowing the lawn or tidying his wardrobe. So, nothing that was any use to the household in general, just something that he wanted to do. Then, when I accused him of doing nothing around the house, he'd point to the mown lawn or the tidy wardrobe and say 'what's THAT then?'

Ignoring the fact that his kids were unfed and up to their knees in toys and unhoovered carpet. Because he didn't want to do that.

He's an ex.

Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 20:02

@Zaphodsotherhead oh god that’s exactly what he does - I run the whole house and because he wants to mow the lawn as he has friends coming at the weekend he throws a strop !!!

OP posts:
Cheeseandlobster · 11/08/2020 20:04

He sounds like a typical Water Torturer. Look up "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft

Zaphodsotherhead · 11/08/2020 20:41

@Givemeanidea878 Mine once announced that he'd invited friends around. The house was a pigsty and they were staying overnight. So, what did he do? He went out to tidy the shed...

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 11/08/2020 20:44

When we had 6 dc and house a bomb site exh would stand tidying the bloody cutlery drawer.
New life now includes a messy drawer - because I damn well can have one.

Deadposhtory · 11/08/2020 20:49

He was tyding the garden in this heat? Confused

Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 20:51

@Deadposhtory yeah he is having his friends over at weekend I think he had a panic and decided to drag me in ! But when I ask him for help it never happens

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeanidea878 · 11/08/2020 20:51

@Deadposhtory I will look it up !

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page