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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird family friends have affected me more than I thought

4 replies

ohbovva · 11/08/2020 11:59

When I was a kid, my mum has a few weird friends/relationships.

She had an abusive ex partner who I loved but was scared of. I didn't really understand. My dad dropped us home one night and I walked in the front door and saw him covered in blood, my mum terrified and the kitchen destroyed. He was sectioned then allowed back to the home. I was scared of him after this. She eventually ended it.

She had a friend who when she went out of the room, would say things like 'why don't you ever walk around in your underwear? My step daughter does, it's fine. You should try it' - I never thought of this as weird as I was a kid. I told my mum recently and she was horrified.

My mum's friend committed suicide when I was little. She was lovely but deeply unhappy. A mutual friend of her and my mum was a total weirdo and accused my parents of murder. I was aware of this when I was a kid and it deeply affected me. Nobody explained to me that she was mentally unwell. Of course my parents were never involved in this.

Thinking about this now has made me realise how weird it all was and I actually feel a bit sick. There are more incidents. But won't go in to them all.

AIBU to have been affected massively by this but not realised until now?

OP posts:
Moomum123 · 11/08/2020 12:35

It’s not unreasonable at all, children don’t have the experience or understanding to make sense of things, that comes with age and wisdom. It sounds like you experienced some major traumas when young, and thinking about them now you can understand how severe they were. Would you consider counselling to help sort things in your mind, and put them into perspective. Wishing you well.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 11/08/2020 12:40

As an adult I am back in touch with a man my dm was married to. Brought back some memories of how inappropriate my dm was around me as a dc. Men in and out of our home and lives far too often. My dsf left without any explanation from either of them.. Quickly replaced by a string of married men.
I am nc with dm and have been for years. Gladly so..
And rightly so it seems.

TheAquaticDuchess · 11/08/2020 12:43

YANBU, these things happened when you were too young to process them, so it’s very understandable that you’re still working through the repercussions now. It sounds like you’ve had very traumatic experiences which have had and are having a long term effect.

It may be that therapy is something you would benefit from to help you work through these feelings and come to terms with them.

ohbovva · 11/08/2020 12:56

The reason I have remembered these as well as a lot of other thing dav is actually due to my amazing counsellor. It seems he has unlocked a lot of shit that I had ENTIRELY suppressed. Bizarre. Strange realisations. He is an incredible counsellor.

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