Husband’s redundancy

[Joneseygirl77]

I’m after some advice as I’m really struggling at the moment.
DH was made redundant in June with a 3mo package. He’s been been applying like mad
for roles and gone through his usual recruiter contacts. I’m in a stable job and we have a savings cushion which we wanted to use to pay off some of the mortgage.
I’m really struggling with it all though. I’m naturally a worrier and a planner so this combined with the past few months has tipped me over the edge. I’m really stressed with all- constant anxiety in my stomach/ unable to sleep and generally feeling off.
DH previous role was quite senior and he is willing to take a drop but hardly anything is coming through at the moment.
I’m so worried for the future and keep thinking he’s going to remain unemployed forever. Trying to keep it from him so he isn’t stressed but I ended up breaking down yesterday. Really don’t know why this is affecting me so much and I’m worried that I can’t seem to get any perspective on it all.
Any advice?

I think you have some valid points to a degreee Jizzle but being that cautious for life isn’t really necessary I don’t think.

I’ve seen people do this and they just end up with shit loads of money when they retire and then never spend it and leave it to their kids. They also miss out on lots of experiences in life too by being too over cautious.

I personally don’t agree with that. I do think everyone should have a six month safety net where it is possible though. Six months is usually enough to see most people through.

Clearly though some people just can’t do that. What do a couple do who are both on minimum wage for example?

You mention living on one typical salary. What is a typical salary to you?

Your dp needs to treat looking for a job as his job for now.

Cv, agencies, job sites, LinkedIn... Identify all the likely employers of his skill set in the area and check their web sites.
Network with all old colleagues. consider short term contracts, relocation,part time etc.

Then look for temporary work - driving, call centre, agriculture, etc.

Your job is to stay calm, have confidence in him and remain positive. He needs you to believe in him, he doesn’t need to be comforting you at the moment.

Look at how you can cut costs. Cancel all subscriptions, cut bills where possible, take one car off the road, reduce supermarket bills etc. No takeaways, holidays or new clothes. Work as a team to make the money last as long as possible. Consider going interest only on the mortgage.

And then celebrate together when he gets a new contract

My ex slobbed around the house moping and not doing anything for 6 months after being made redundant I finally lost my shit and made him do delivery driving for Sainsburys until he found another job which he thought was totally beneath him but it meant surviving financially against not surviving at all. Might be worth a thought.
He's my ex for other reasons.

I think you need to get a handle on your anxiety, and I say that with kindness because we are EXACTLY in the same position you're in, except worse because my business has also tanked because of Covid.

You say DH has been doing some consultancy - that's brilliant and I have to say that's the best way of getting the 'step down' he's looking for, at potentially a better rate of pay. However, if this is the path he's on you have to be prepared for the ups and downs of it, you have to be able to hold your nerve, tighten the belts and just get on with things.

I'm actually pretty good at that, DP has now secured his step down contract for 6 months and he will have to learn that. Chin up. Network like fuck, cut back what you can and honestly, try not to think too deeply about tomorrow.

We were in the same position, but both of us lost ours jobs in March. We had a safety net that will last us until September but I really really get the anxiety. We have both just managed to get new positions so will be okay but I was fuming at my husband a month or so ago when he got turned down for a job he saw as beneath him. I'm pretty sure he decided before the interview he didn't want the job and tanked it on purpose. Luckily, he was really respected in his job before and has managed to lean on one of his connections and mine was a job I happened to apply for in January that got put on hold but has just started being recruited for again... So things are starting to move again and more jobs are appearing. Hold in there, hopefully it all works out for you

Hey, it’s shit for sure x

I was made redundant in May and while we had enough to tide us over financially for a bit I was panicking and thinking I’d never work again/was too old etc. Have since been offered 2 new roles. It’s not easy but there’s work out there for people. In some ways being in a niche area is maybe a bit better as there are likely to be less people applying for roles than for things like driving/reception roles where a lot more people have the skills.

The current jobs market is mental!

DH has now had his 8th conversation for the same role- started back in June and he’s had 8 conversations with 6 different people about one role. He has never known anything like it in a 20yr + career.

Recruiters keep saying things will get better in next 4-6 weeks when schools go back and furlough scheme ends!