To ask for help with my awful diet?

[Wolfie11]

My diet is appalling. It always has been, I was raised on ‘beige’ food and general crap and it has continued into adulthood. I’m now at the point where I physically gag when trying to eat fruit and veg. It’s ridiculous and pathetic but I don’t know where to start to change it. I’m tired all the time, my skin looks like shit, my hair looks like shit, I’m verging on underweight, I’m starting to look older than my years, despite good hygiene my breath is staring to smell - I’m just really unhappy and feel horrible physically and mentally.

My diet consists of carbs, dairy, some meat and sugar. No fruit or veg whatsoever. I definitely don’t drink 2 litres of water a day. Most days I will have fizzy juice although I have tried to cut back on this. Today’s food was a Cadbury’s fudge mid morning, leftover meatballs and pasta in a sauce made with passata/garlic/basil/oregano, chocolate ball corner yoghurt, ripple chocolate bar, 3 slices of cheap supermarket pizza, 3 potato waffles, a custard doughnut plus a litre bottle of peach squash and a glass of milk.

I feel quite vile and sick reading that back. I need to make baby steps towards eating healthier but where the hell do I start? I’m also pretty skinny and would hate to lose weight. I worry that by eating healthier I will end up even skinnier considering what I eat now doesn’t put weight on me. I know if I try to do too much and change too much I’ll just go straight back to the same way I’ve always been, as pathetic as that sounds.

My only saving grace is that I’ve never smoked and only have the odd drink now and then. I think I’d be 6 feet under by now otherwise! Any help/advice/support would help massively.

You sound very much like me!

Except I’m over weight.

For me it’s texture and taste of unfamiliar foods and it goes way back. I’ve regularly resorted to eating a 12 inch pizza for breakfast because it’s all I’ll tolerate. I really understand how hard it is. I’ll try and write something out to show what’s helped me.

Are there any vegetables you like? Meatballs in pasta sauce sounds fine, healthy enough.
Remember you sometimes have to try things a few times before you like them.
I've been trying to eat more fruit so I've been making fruit salad most nights. I'm actually really enjoying the whole process from choosing the fruit to making it and eating it, I've discovered some apples are amazing (royal gala)

Do you have cookbooks? Have you looked at recipes on BBC good food?

First, I would make a list of what you can tolerate. Everything. One list for each meal. Cereal? Porridge? Eggs? Yoghurt? I can only eat eggs in the form of savoury egg muffins with herbs and a little cheese but they count. Porridge I can add dried goji berries and chopped hazelnuts to, and trick my brain into letting me swallow it. Yoghurt, I have Greek yoghurt with honey with cereal and cacao nibs.

Once you have your lists, you can start to see what you can tweak. Add things in and make sure you’re covering all major food groups and vitamins and minerals.

You will likely not branch out very much but you should be able to start filling in the gaps and can build up from there. If I can help further please let me know.

Do you really want to change op as your post is a bit ambiguous?

If you do it is simple really, clear your cupboards of all fizzy drinks, processed crap, chocolate and sweets.

Make a meal plan, look online and pick meals you feel you can tolerate, but that are healthy, as am example
Breakfast,
porridge and blueberries
Egg and avocado on brown toast
Dorset cereals.

Mid morning snack, apple or orange and handful of nuts.

Lunch,
Chicken/ham/tuna with salad
Or a wrap
egg and bacon with tomato.
scrambled eggs
Greek yoghurt with strawberries for dessert.

Mid afternoon snack, ryvita with something you like on.

Dinner,

Unprocessed meat, with 4 steamed or roasted vegetables, brown rice,
Grilled fish, or chicken with a jacket potato and salad.
Dark chocolate for dessert.

Just some simple ideas, the most important things are;

Commit by clearing out all junk,
meal plan and shop for 4 days worth of meals and snacks, repeat
Do not add any rubbish food,
keep trying new simple recipes until you find what you like,
Try all vegetable and food at least three times to improve your palete and give yourself chance to grow to like decent food.

Set your 4 day plan and don't break it, plan what you will do if out, ie where and what you will choose to order.

You will possibly struggle in the first week, but by the second you will look and feel so much better and in a month you should really see and feel hugely better.

Good food will not make you lose weight, you probably have poor gut balance as your diet is so poor.

Good luck

I used to be like this- I was brought up on chicken nuggets and chips as it was easier for my Mum as I had massive sensory issues.

Working in a restaurant cured me of it- I had a natural curiosity of what the chefs were up to and as they were “professionals” I would trust that it wouldn’t be bad when they gave me stuff to try! Also it was completely socially unacceptable to eve fussy in that industry.

I started to realise that a lot of it for me was about control over knowing what was going in my mouth and how it would feel. Working there expanded my pallet and gave me basic cooking skills so I expanded on this when I left. I chose “safe” simple foods and experimented with ways of cooking them until I found one I like.

Growing up I only ever knew veg to be boiled until it was soft but as I experimented I learnt that I like my leeks fried, broccoli steamed, carrots roasted etc as we as appropriate seasoning for it all.

I am still a little bit fussy but I am a proficient cook and put together meals that are balanced even if I still avoid some foods.

Can you start by hiding some of the veg? There are loads of recipes for hidden veg pasta sauces. It's not ideal but a step forwards. Smoothies? Soups? I too was raised on beige suite. It's the texture of fruit and veg I find hard to eat so by blending it, I can manage much more variety.

Spinach is a good one to start ease you in with other veg, it’s pretty light textured and not super strong flavour compared to some. It’s really quick and easy to prepare too.

Carrots too - preferably roasted, they are soft and sweet.

Dragongirl - the OP has sensory issues with food and gags at any fruit and veg. Just giving her a meal plan with a load of fruit and veg in isn't going to solve that.

OP I guess the only way is really slowly. Cut the sugary crap and fizzy drinks, choose wholegrain carbs and good meat. Introduce one fruit or veg at a time, picking ones that seem least problematic and trying little bits. Good luck!

I agree with Dragongirl. It’s obviously going to take you a while to adjust your palate so you can enjoy a varied diet, but in the meantime what you can do is cut out the crap like sugary drinks and chocolate.

Following as this is me. What's worse is how judgy people are

Is there any fruit and veg you can tolerate?
Hidden veg?
I would start with adding some more water and a multi vitamin, keep it simple
Add in some nutritious stuff like yoghurt, nuts, lean meats

Oh and can I just add?

Please please do not feel down if you try and find you can’t add in fruits and veg. I still eat pretty much neither, maybe one a month. I’am healthy and not lacking in any vitamins or minerals. I don’t take a multi vitamin either but maybe consider that? This a huge thing to overcome and nigh on impossible in some cases. Just do what you can as best you can.

Aw, that sucks but dont beat yourself up. The most important thing is taking the first step - which it sounds like you're already doing.

I think @AragornsManlyStubble advice at 23.08 is a great starting point. Make a list of things you can eat for each meal and identify the healthiest stuff.

Fruit is a good place to start as its sweeter than veg. Could you commit to eating one portion of fruit for 5 out of the next seven days? Maybe try to include a couple of fruits you've never tried before?

Would it help if you knew that fruit and veg aren't going to taste great at first? Your palette is clearly used to certain foods so new textures and tastes are going to be horrible for a while. You may need to commit to sticking with this.

I would try to think of one small change you would like to make eg. Drink a glass of water each day at 8am and see if you can establish that habit. Then try adding a new habit eg eat a portion of fruit each day.

I read a lot of books about establishing habits as I find it really hard. There are interesting videos/podcasts etc that you might want to look at.

Small changes over a period of time all add up. Don't beat yourself up if you fail one day or for a week or whatever. Make your goals manageable at first.

Good luck.

Try different ways too with stuff, I wouldn't bother about if you're adding stuff to them that's "less healthy" because eating a strawberry with chocolate is better than just the chocolate!
Like carrots - raw, boiled, steamed, roasted with honey
Banana - warmed up, as it is, with peanut butter on, dried banana chips
Sweet potato - wedges, mash
Strawberries - plain, dipped in chocolate, in yoghurt, on top of cereal, with cream
I never got why people liked cherry tomatoes until I put some sea salt on them, and now I'm addicted!

lazylinguist..

I was just giving op some examples of easy simple balanced options, 'look online and pick meals you feel you can tolerate,'

Op said she doesn't know what constitues healthy eating and doesn't know where to start, but wants to feel and look her best.

If you want to make a change you have to step outside your comfort zone and try something different. The good thing about improving a diet is there are so many options......I will never be able to eat a brussel sprout but can happily eat several other vegetables despite hating them as a child, l don't really like green beans but had a handful dipped in spicy humous today, they were delicious.

Having an open mind is a good starting point.

Dragongirl

An open mind does nothing when you physically cannot swallow the food in your mouth. That’s if you even get to the point of putting it there. Everyone like this wants to change, wants to be ‘normal’. But it is such a mental block that tips over into physical rejection of the food. It is incredibly incredibly hard to make even the smallest change. It goes far beyond simply not liking things and then just trying them.

Well, you are already eating some fruit/veg as you mention passatta and garlic, and the pizza probably includes tomatoes too.

Would you try tomato or vegetable soup if it was blended very smoothly? Or purée of vegetables such as carrots or courgettes? Or creamed vegetables such as leek or spinach?

Have you considered hypnosis at all? That might help you in the early stages of trying new tastes & textures.

It might help you to read about weaning children, introducing new foods, tactics for dealing with children refusing food, so you could apply them to yourself.

To get into the habit of drinking water, try buying a travel bottle with the times to drink on it, some ice cube trays and a really nice fancy glass (doesn't have to be expensive). Sounds ridiculous but I feel like it's almost a treat to sit and drink water with ice in it out of a fancy crystal tumbler, makes it more appealing anyway

Also most smart phones have a health app built in where you can keep track of how much water you've drank.

A friend of mine puts kale or spinach into smoothies for her kids. So the kids think it's, say, a chocolate smoothie (made with yogurt usually), but it has a banana in it for sweetness and a few leaves of greens but they're all blended up. Could you try something like that to start? Or even a choc smoothie just with banana in it to start, add some strawberries if you're feeling brave?

I think you need to start with a general improvement, rather than an immediate 'goji berry and overnight oats' kind of overhaul. Your pasta and meatballs sounds fine; pasta sauces (and soups) can hide a whole manner of different veg. Make your own pesto (takes seconds) and you can get, for example broccoli, cauliflower and spinach in (with lots of basil) without noticing.
Do you like eggs? If so, great breakfast there. If time in the mornings is short, hard boil eggs the night before-egg sandwich is not a bad option.
Fruit juice (apple is particularly good) mixed with fizzy water is a great drink... gradually reduce the amoumt of fruit juice. I hate the tap water where I live, so I always add a slice of lemon or lime, often a sprig of mint or basil too and it is much more bearable.
Make your own pizza using passata on the base. Add some veg on there eg sweetcorn (ok not authentically Italian but easily lost on pizza).
I agree with others about meal planning for a few days too.
Smoothies are really good too for getting in fruit.

AragornsManlyStubble

Op asked for help and advice and didn't say she couldn't or didn't want to try anything new...just that she struggles with fruit and vegetables...many do.

I think you are projecting here.

I think you need real baby steps- not berries and kale and porridge et al. So like a previous poster said could you start Week 1 with a glass of water and a multi vitamin every day? Pasta and meatballs with homemade sauce sounds pretty good so don't beat yourself up too much. If you like pizza could you buy some pizza bases and make your own using the same pasta sauce in week 2