Pre lockdown, I worked FT and DS went to pre-school FT, but at 2 different settings. Pre-school 1 took kids back earlier than the other, so DS went back there first and we were expecting he'd return to the other later in the summer. However, Govt guidelines mean DS can only return to 1 setting, so he did not return to Pre-school 2 and I've ended up going part-time until DS starts school in September.
PS2 is closer to home and several kids from there will be starting Reception at same school as DS next month. I was only on nodding terms with other parents before and DS did not go on playdates, but since we've been able to get out more we've spent more time in parks with kids from PS2 and their parents, which we've both enjoyed.
One mum in particular is v sweet and friendly and has been v keen for her DS to socialise with mine. We live on one side of a park and they live on the other. We go there all the time. It quickly became clear that her DS has very little time for mine. My DS is several months younger and much less switched on to the outside world. Both kids are only children.
Whenever we meet, DS rushes excitedly up to the other kid and starts telling him whatever news he has. About 90% of the time, other kid openly ignores DS or tells him he's not interested in the things DS wants to tell him, dismisses him as silly or mocks him for the way he speaks. If other kids are around he excludes DS and encourages other kids to exclude him too. It's very calculated - I have not seen mean kid behave this way with anyone else (other than the aggression he shows his mother) and it is painful to watch as the parent of his targeted victim. Not that I just stand back. I do intervene and tell him not to be unkind to my child, far more often than his own mum does.
Mean kid's mum has disclosed to me that her DS has had a tough time at Pre-School, hates going and is often on his own when she collects him. But he seems popular enough in the playground and I have not seen him being victimised.
Several other kids recognise DS from pre-lockdown and approach him to play, but for some reason DS is only interested in mean kid. As far as I know they were not friends pre-lockdown, but DS absolutely idolises mean kid and it's like the other kids don't exist.
I'm now trying to keep our distance, making excuses not to meet, arranging to meet other mums and kids and trying to go further afield, but I don't drive so that limits us. DS constantly asks to see mean kid. I've repeatedly explained that there are other kids to play with and that DS should not put up with mean behaviour for the sake of having a playmate, but it makes no difference.
To make things worse, school is 2-form entry but mean kid will be in same class as DS, along with some other kids mean kid has been encouraging to exclude DS.
I know school will present plenty of challenges over the years but I want DS's early experiencr to be as positive and stress-free as possible.
I have 2 WIBUs:
-WIBU to speak to school and try to switch DS to the other class, knowing DS will experience mean behaviour wherever he goes?
-WIBU to message mean kid's mum to tell her I want to keep our kids apart for the rest of the summer since her DS treats mine so unkindly even though we live so near one another and get on well as mums?