Blended Family

[Monkeyjess5594]

Hey I need some advice in the end of 2017 I met a new fella he has full custody of his daughter and I have two girls from a previous relationship shortly after we got together I fell pregnant with our son. my eldest daughter's and son's birthdays are 8 days apart and the other two girls birthdays are 11 days apart. His extended family such as nan and Aunt and uncle seem to think that its OK to just get the kids biologically related to my partner birthday presents but not the other two. Is it reasonable for me to be upset and angry that my two girls are left out because they aren't biologically related?

@LovingLola my partner got into a full blown argument with his sister regarding it and she basically said well we will tell everyone not to get stuff for any of them

@kissmysass

As a pp said, your anger needs to be directed at their father and his family for being absent.

I agree with this.

Your family shouldn't HAVE to buy anything for her, it's really nice that they choose to though.

My brother in law has 4 children of his own from his marriage (divorced). Over the last few years he has had 2 partners and both of those partners have had children from a previous relationship. Even if they were only together a short amount of time I still included those children at xmas and easter as I couldn't bear the thought of giving my nieces and nephews gifts and the other children sitting and watching them opening them. Admittedly I didn't spend as much on them as I did on my nieces and nephews, (I think because it was early days and they didn't end up staying together longer than a year) but I couldn't give them nothing.

Also from the other point of view - My dad had full custody of me from 2 years old - I had contact with my mother still, however my step mum has pretty much raised me since the age of 3 and she had no biological children of her own. Her family have never treated me any differently to their biological grandchildren/nieces etc. If anything I have a closer relationship to her parents than my cousins do. It's not about blood and biology, it's about who loves and looks out for you

People need to look at it from the children's point if view and think about how it makes them feel. I just think personally it is a nice thing to do but unfortunately not everyone thinks the same way

The problem with presents etc for anyone - step kids, grandchildren, siblings , friends - anyone, is that you can't really demand that they are given. The only thing you and your partner can do is minimise the effect on your children.
My older (half) siblings got Christmas/birthday gifts from their mum's family. They didnt live with their mum and didnt really see her or the family but they had a large-ish pile of presents some years that the rest of us didnt have. Clearly that's slightly different and there is absolutely no reason why my half siblings family should buy presents for me and my other siblings, but it didnt stop 8 year old me being a bit put out that they got presents I didnt get. My mum and dad explained that not everyone could buy all of us gifts and we we should be excited for each other. Written down it sounds like the kind of bullshit kids would see through but they made it work.

YABU why should they. I personally would as it seems abit mean. Though i love my sisters son to his bones and I only like her husbands daughter. She's nice but I don't love her like my nephew, it's not the same.

My partner of 5 years family doesn't buy for my son, I'm not offended i don't buy for all of them.

My adult step kids don't buy me anything and I'm married to their father.