WIBU to contact GP about DD(8)'s meltdowns?

[Jourdain11]

Probably a stupid thing to ask about on AIBU, but I genuinely don't know what to do for the best and I'm feeling a little desperate.

DD1 (8 year old) has recently developed OCD-like tendencies - tics and touching/tapping rituals and other things like going up and down stairs, going repeatedly to the toilet. I've been in touch with the GP about it by telephone and GP has referred to CAMHS, but obviously there will be a waiting list.

Over the last couple of weeks, her anxiety seems to have gone through the roof and no amount of reassurance seems to help. She is frequently going into what I can only describe as "meltdown mode" and it is obviously exhausting and distressing for her and upsetting for the rest of us. It seems like she completely loses control, screams and thrashes around, tries to hit her head off the wall and punches her legs and body.

I am worried about how much she how quickly it seems to have escalated and also the impact that it's having on her younger brother and sister, as it's impossible to completely protect them from it. She has always been such a level-headed, happy girl and it is so sad to see her in the grip of this.

I want to go back to the GP and maybe push for an "urgent" referral if such a thing exists, but DH is worried that this will freak out DD more and is concerned that ferrying her off to the GP may exacerbate things.

Does anyone have experience with this type of thing? Honestly, I just don't know what to do and I feel a bit despairing

(I realise, btw, that I am sounding really impatient and critical of her. Which I am not feeling and not meaning to be! But I do worry also about how her outbursts are impacting on DD2 and DS.)

Yes I second getting a video. A description isn't enough. Not always easy to film someone though.

Is it possible to just leave her alone to do the rituals. You get the other DCs into bed then do bed time stories etc when DD has finished doing the things she wants to do. Takes the pressure out of the situation. Just an idea. Facebook support groups might have good suggestions from others in the same boat.

While you wait for an assessment (I’m not in the uk) we were recommended the work book “what to do when you worry too much”, “Hey Warrior” and “The Panicosaurus” for our 6 year old who is anxious about... well... life.

Most of them are about understanding why you get anxiety and coping techniques.

Definitely worth trying to go private. Our son is currently receiving occupational therapy and about to start a cbt course with a private counsellor. Didn’t want him struggling while waiting for cahms. Really hope you get sorted, sounds awful for you all!

In my experience CAMHS are so overloaded they are not fit for purpose. We got to the stage where our then 10 year old daughter was actively wanting to kill herself. We took her to the GP, they sent us to A&E (this I the only current route for a child in crisis, and sitting in a busy casualty waiting room for 4 hours is possibly the worst environment to put a suicidal child in). She was assessed by the duty paed psych and given an urgent referral to CAMHS. It took 6 months to get an appointment on that basis, and their help is so limited - 12 sessions usually - that we went private, and it was definitely worth doing.

For me, the best way to find a specialist was to go on local FB closed pages for her condition - she has ASC but you could look for OCD local pages. These sites are a godsend - they are full of local parents who have a wealth of information based on their experiences. I found loads of support there too - if you post there about your experiences there will be parents who are going through similar.

With the routines, we have always been told to let them happen without comment. They are her coping mechanism, and to take them away will cause far more stress to her. If she can't complete them she will be very distressed. I know it's hard to watch, but the more open and accepting you are, the more she will feel comfortable and probably some of the anxiety will lessen.

It's so hard to deal with, and some of the parenting is very counter intuitive to neuro typical expectations. I still struggle. I hope you find some help

I did wonder about that with bedtimes, but the problem is that doing the rituals doesn't seem to relax her! She obviously finds it stressful doing them, just not as stressful as not doing them... She and DD2 share a room also, so it is kind of hard to have a relaxing bedtime story while DD1 is going around the room tapping things.

Just to mix things up, she seems to have developed a vocal sound to go along with her tic this morning - a sort of "a-a-ah" noise. The tic can happen when she's in the middle of talking about something, so she's having a lot of unfinished conversation. DD2, who can be nothing if not blunt, said "that sounds so weird". Just another morning, ha.

I would phone camhs and chase it up there if they already have the referral. From experience, the GP won't do much. Get on the heels of camhs yourself. Hope you get seen soon. Sounds hard.

We did go to the GP today in the end and the doctor thinks it is PANS/PANDAS.