Going to try and cut a long story short!!!
Things have been rocky with partner for some time, we agreed to give things a go, he has not committed to moving back home after the previous time he left, but from Tuesday last week, he has been here.
Yesterday, he was going to do something quickly and before he left he suggested plans for us and 2 children for the afternoon. I didn’t particularly want to go out with the heat but I agreed and got ready.
He’s barely gone 20mins and I get a text suggesting different plans because he’s been invited to do a wine bar with friends.
I was cleaning the toddlers cot bedding and mattress yesterday because he keeps pouring milk everywhere and it’s stinks, so he was ratty and tired as hadn’t been down for a nap and I didn’t have our pram as it’s accidentally been left with grandparents.
I say I don’t particualry think a hot, bothered and tired 2 year old and a hot and bothered 8 year old particularly want to spend their afternoon in a wine bar, but agreed to go, however I stated I was not being held solely responsible for the meltdown the toddler would no doubt have nor was I being the only one to chase around after him.
He says fine he will back soon, I followed up, as he had form for this kind of thing and then taking that to mean he will just go without me, I said this wasn’t on.
So he wants to forget the whole thing and he will come home and finish painting a room so now none of us are going anywhere and plans are cancelled.
I tried to talk to him, why did he bother texting me about changing plans I’d really, all it boiled down to was I agree to the change or he’s going to have a strop.
He said he’s not got the ump and was getting on with it and to fuck off and leave him alone and don’t talk to him etc etc
I obviously carry on, as this is one of the main issues in our relationship and therefore I want to establish the problem because I agreed to his plans anyway so why does he have to spoil the entire day?
This blows up into him breaking the newly plastered wall, throwing paint everywhere, screaming at me, collecting what little stuff he has here and leaving, and now it’s over and it’s all my fault for “going on” and I am the cause of this and he wants nothing to do with me and my poison yada yada.
I believe that I am not wrong, yes, I could have stopped speaking to him and walked away, but had I done that, the only reason I would have done that for is to avoid this situation occurring and I don’t believe that’s right and when I said I wanted us to change our relationship I meant it, change doesn’t equate to he just does whatever he likes and I have to shut my mouth.
Am I being unreasonable?
It’s bad enough having your partner leave you and call you every name under the sun etc etc but to now be sitting here feeling like it’s my fault for not shutting my mouth is even worse.