Share your cringe worthy moments

[OntheWaves40]

...so I feel better!

So my finger slipped when using Amazon chat, I didn’t know whether to correct it or break out in the seven dwarfs off to work we go song.
Instead I ignore it and waited an excruciating long time for a reply.
Share your cringey moments so I know I’m not alone!

Oh - this is a really old one that taught me a lesson about being as vague as possible when dealing with strangers to avoid causing offence.

16, in my first week of a checkout job, I said to a little boy sat in the trolly of the woman I was serving “have you been a good boy for your Nanna today?”...”that’s my mummy” he said.

Tried to send a picture to my mil, ended up sending a picture my partner sent me. We cried laughing. He still doesn’t know.

I told the man in Starbucks that I wasn’t very happy with my muffin the other day and went on to say how dry it was. He gave me a moist one for free. Hand on heart I never thought about how it had all sounded until I woke up in the middle of the night.

Sexted uncle instead of boyfriend of the same name .... uncle had a few too many drinks and thought he was about to get lucky with some random

Was very stressed at work had to make a call to the same department as our in a neighbouring building. Was too lazy/sort of time to look up the number. So went through switchboard. Only they put me through to my own department not the neighbouring building. Not realising I am phoning the phone next to me. I stay on my call (wanting the job done) and let the other phone ring (no-one is available to answer it). My senior eventually stops what she is doing to answer the phone. Queue me looking shocked and trying to mumble I went through switch board. Whilst she gives me the number from memory.

Used to work in transport and was on the phone one day to a taxi operator. Both of us full of cold.

Operator: I think I’m just going to go to bed.
Me: ooooh I think I’ll join you!
tumbleweeds

Another memorable one was my colleague’s gaffe, not mine, and I was reminded of it by @MinistryOfTragic’s post earlier. I also used to be a trading standards officer, and on this day I was with my colleague at a local school, giving a talk on toy safety.

Colleague: you see how this can snap shut? Very dangerous, will have your fingers off. And we all love our fingers, don’t we, nobody wants to have no fingers!

At the end of our talk the teacher sidles over and quietly tells us about the girl at the front of the class who has no fingers.

@FenellaVelour oh lord, I think that's way worse than mine. 😂 😂 😂

My next door neighbour saw some people with a Dalmation dog, and complimented them on how clean the doggie looked saying 'it was spotless'. I am not lying.

Used to go in internet chat rooms years ago. Wasn’t looking for anything sexual but I found it interesting. Of course you’d get people in there that did want to go down that route,fair enough. Someone messaged me once asking what I was looking for but instead of replying “just chat”,I’d somehow typed “just shat”! I was mortified but it did make me laugh. Still does!!! 😂

In a fancy restaurant toilet I had to do a double side step as someone was walking towards me.
I looked up to acknowledge the stranger with a smile and banged face first into a mirrored wall.

I'd been trying to sidestep my own reflection, what a dickhead.

At 18 I went for a week for an induction to my new university course that was due to start later that year. I was very green, I felt like a real grown up getting off the train, and I walked up to the taxi rank. I didn't know how to tell if the taxi driver was happy to accept me as a passenger, so I walked up to his window and said 'ARE YOU AVAILABLE?'. He laughed, I genuinely don't remember what he actually said though because I was busy being swallowed up by the floor.

I was on a field trip with university, and we were split into boys/girls dorms at a hostel. I was in with two others, all single beds, but a male friend of mine was in a room of twelve, and said they had bunk beds. "Ooh, are you a top or bottom?" I chirp merrily.

He's gay.

I called a woman adorable on the phone on Friday. I meant to say helpful. I have no idea why adorable came out my mouth.
I was feeling bad I had made the corner shop guy feel bad for not wearing a mask (not my intention, my small talk is...lacking) so in a bid to back pedal I said 'Ah but then we wouldn't see your pretty face'.
Smile, I meant smile. And why in God's name was I using the adjective pretty?
I saw a bloke I'd had an unrequited crush on (limerence?) and so, in a bid to look cool and carefree, I said Hi...with a kind of slow-mo slow wave in a rainbow shape. So dorky I might as well have said I was holding a watermelon. Oh, and I had pigtails. Aged 28. I was having a quarter-life crisis at the time.
Finally, I once grabbed a woman's boob by mistake. Don't ask me why. I can't even remember. I was reaching out to shake hands.
Reading all that back I either need to be arrested, confined or patted on the head in a pitying manner. Socially awkward doesn't cover it.

I was probably 18 or 19, met some friends at a pub as a student.

Lovely corner table, next to an open fire, so I got a bit too warm.
Took my jumper off, only to reveal I was wearing nothing underneath, not the T shirt and bra I was wearing in my head.

So, yeah, flashed an entire pub.

My first solo doctors appointment when I was 16 - brand new doctor, was asking me for a history of both my medical and family history. She kept asking, 'Do you have _' and I would say, 'No, but my (insert relative does)' and all was fine.

Then she asked if I ever had thrush, and without thinking I replied, 'No, but my mom gets it all the time'.

Ugh, it's been 14 years and I still cringe every friggen time I think about it.

Out of politeness, I tried to keep the lift doors open for my colleague. The lift didn’t recognise me as being there, and smashed into my spine (unbeknownst to me, it was already broken at the time). I was too polite to say anything, even though he asked if I was in pain as I couldn’t walk. I staggered in to chair my first meeting (all regional defence attaches present) and the pain overwhelmed me just as someone asked me a question and I let out a yowl. I played it off, waited until I thought everyone had left and phoned the driver and started to crawl out of the room. A very senior diplomat had waited, suspicious, and ended up with me being carried like a baby in a skirt suit to hospital. The second meeting I chaired went better.

Got drunk. Passed out in pub. In my "sleep", I took the top half of my clothes off. Got barred.

First time I had went to a Toby carvery and the queue was huge. I went along to the bloke who was cutting up the meat. (The roast potatoes, where you get your veg from, looked horrible) after he handed me my plate, where the meat gets cut on the hot plate there was some lovely looking roasties with plastic cranberry Around them. I don’t know why I picked up the plastic cranberries and moved it to one side, then started putting the roasties on my plate. The chef stopped and looked at me and asked what I was doing. I said I don’t like the look of them roast potatoes up there so I will have these ones instead. He said do you mind putting them back they are for decoration purposes and have been there all day. I had to put them back one by one while everyone just starred at me 🙈

It’s four in the morning and I’m belly laughing at that one

Last week I thanked the cashpoint loudly for giving me my own money, there was a queue a LONG queue and yes they heard 😬

I still cringe when I think back to mine. My oldest received a report from nursery that was full of spelling mistakes. God knows what I was thinking because I corrected them all in red pen and then sent it back.