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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this to the police?

175 replies

Hardbackwriter · 09/08/2020 20:49

Today I happened to click on the neighborhood FB place for where I used to live until a few weeks ago (which is a not very nice/slightly rough area - this may or may not be relevant). The top post, with many comments and 'angry face' reactions is someone saying that someone living in the area is a convicted paedophile. In the comments someone has included a screenshot of a news story relating to his conviction (the crimes involved are obviously sickening), his name, his approximate address and his photo. While obviously not in any way condoning what he has done, this has really worried me - the comments make me think there's a pretty high chance of people taking vigilante action, though no one actually goes as far as saying they will do this. I went to report it through the police online reporting system and this made me doubt myself, though - it asks a lot about the crime, the victim, etc and I don't think I have witnessed a crime or a victim, more a potential one, but if you click 'no' to 'have you witnessed or been victim to a crime' it redirects you out of the reporting system. AIBU to think this is a matter that is worth reporting?

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 09/08/2020 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post

oakleaffy · 10/08/2020 00:00

{Oops, my quotes in bold were omitted}🤭

Bookrat · 10/08/2020 00:04

Good call, OP. We have the rule of law for all or for none. Same as human rights: if some humans are excluded then there are no human rights. I wonder if these people who are baying for the blood of a man (about whom nothing is proven) would choose mob rule over a court of law for themselves?

LillianBland · 10/08/2020 00:05

oakleaffy I to am a victim of child sexual abuse, so maybe that’s why we’re actually more likely to look at the ‘vigilantes’ and think, “why are you REALLY doing this?” We, or at least I, don’t look at things that people say and do and take that as truth. My life experiences actually make me question motives behind angry, loud accusations towards others. There are a few ‘burn em at the stake‘ types, that I’ve met over the years, that have actually been trying to distract from their own behaviour.

I also don’t want innocent people caught in the crossfire.

Warsawa31 · 10/08/2020 08:42

@itsgettingweird I know nothing of the person and the legitimacy of the Facebook thread myself hence the word alleged.

I wouldn't engage in vigilante behaviour nor encourage it. Mistaken identity happens a lot - but child protection groups Who specifically target people also do a lot of good IMO. Some are better than others obviously.

AllsortsofAwkward · 10/08/2020 08:55

I think youre attitude would be different if this man harmed youre child, u rather be aware of anyone in the area so I can protect my children.

itsgettingweird · 10/08/2020 09:02

@AllsortsofAwkward

I think youre attitude would be different if this man harmed youre child, u rather be aware of anyone in the area so I can protect my children.
Except they don't know this is the person they are accusing him to be.

What's so hard to comprehend about this.

A photos taken 8 years ago in a different town of a man if a different name looks like the man who lives in this flat.

I'm sure someone could find a photo taken a decade ago of a criminal of any name that looks like it could possibly be me!

Does that mean I should have my life ruined by vigilantes?

If it is this man there are proper channels to go through.

Hardbackwriter · 10/08/2020 09:17

@AllsortsofAwkward

I think youre attitude would be different if this man harmed youre child, u rather be aware of anyone in the area so I can protect my children.
Of course I would want him dead if he harmed my child, but that's why victims don't choose sentences because we don't have a justice system founded on vengeance.

Incidentally I wouldn't leave my son unsupervised and will talk to him about stranger danger etc as he gets older whether or not the local FB group has identified any (supposedly) known paedophiles at the time - I don't see how it's supposed to change behaviour at all? 'Oh sure, feel free to go and play at the house of that strange man, after all the neighbourhood group hasn't mentioned him so he must be fine'?

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 10/08/2020 09:20

Thanks to the person who called me a stupid cow, by the way. You really convinced me with your thoughtful reasoning and did a lot to dispell the stereotypes of the 'get the paedos' vigilantes as thick.

In general, I've been quite shocked by this thread - I definitely thought beforehand that the general level of discourse on MN was a lot more intelligent and thoughtful than on my local FB page, but apparently not!

OP posts:
PhilSwagielka · 10/08/2020 10:44

@LillianBland

oakleaffy I to am a victim of child sexual abuse, so maybe that’s why we’re actually more likely to look at the ‘vigilantes’ and think, “why are you REALLY doing this?” We, or at least I, don’t look at things that people say and do and take that as truth. My life experiences actually make me question motives behind angry, loud accusations towards others. There are a few ‘burn em at the stake‘ types, that I’ve met over the years, that have actually been trying to distract from their own behaviour.

I also don’t want innocent people caught in the crossfire.

Not a child abuse survivor myself, thank G-d, but I've seen other survivors out there who feel the same as you. They're pointing the finger to distract from their own behaviour.
PhilSwagielka · 10/08/2020 10:56

@Hepcat75

I'm afraid, OP, this one is going to run and run, with ever more lurid descriptions of what the poster would do to a 'nonce' given a studded baseball bat, a squash court, and 'half a chance'. Get your post deleted and do what you think is best. I, too, believe in the rule of law and am firmly in your camp. But there's, like, two of us so honestly? Get out now.
I worked for a legal firm involved in a case that ended up being dramatised. Our client was an eccentric but ultimately harmless man who was accused of murdering one of his tenants. The tabloids went out of their way to make out he was the killer and dug up all sorts of info about his private life. Guess what? He was innocent. The killer was another man who looked 'normal', but had a collection of violent porn on his computer. He also tried to make out our client was the killer. Our client sued the press and I don't blame him because they made his life hell. It's just a good thing they caught the real killer before some vigilante nutcase murdered our client.

And if anyone's going to call me a paedophile apologist, go fuck yourself. I don't condone paedophilia, but nor do I condone innocent people being murdered because they're mistaken for paedophiles. It has happened. Go and look up the Bijan Ebrahimi case. Some of you would have quite happily joined in beating him and burning his corpse, I'm sure.

BananaPop2020 · 10/08/2020 11:19

@Hardbackwriter at least this post has also shown that there are some of us still capable of critical thinking.

KarmaStar · 10/08/2020 11:22

It's nothing to do with you.why are you so invested in this?
The police won't be interested in your 'information ' they will be aware anyway.
Get on with your own life.

itsgettingweird · 10/08/2020 11:23

[quote BananaPop2020]@Hardbackwriter at least this post has also shown that there are some of us still capable of critical thinking.[/quote]
100% agree.

There is a scary indication of breakdown of society when guilty until proven innocent by jive mind is accepted as the norm. Sad

EllaAlright · 10/08/2020 11:44

Some of these replies are scary.

Vigilante justice is terrible, not only do you run the risk of targeting the wrong person through mistaken identity, which can be devastating, you’re also likely to run the risk of driving the convicted person underground where they can no longer be monitored and they are then more likely to reoffend.

You’ve done the right thing OP.

Hardbackwriter · 10/08/2020 12:03

@KarmaStar

It's nothing to do with you.why are you so invested in this? The police won't be interested in your 'information ' they will be aware anyway. Get on with your own life.
Straight back at you! Smile
OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 10/08/2020 12:07

Vigilantes create more risk for everyone and think themselves heroes.

Pp who want to know when an adult convicted of sex crimes against children is living nearby so they can keep their child safe... what would you do differently with that knowledge? Tell them not to go off with the man at number 33? You'd be telling them that anyway, right?

chrislilleyswig · 10/08/2020 12:18

@Hardbackwriter

Thanks to the person who called me a stupid cow, by the way. You really convinced me with your thoughtful reasoning and did a lot to dispell the stereotypes of the 'get the paedos' vigilantes as thick.

In general, I've been quite shocked by this thread - I definitely thought beforehand that the general level of discourse on MN was a lot more intelligent and thoughtful than on my local FB page, but apparently not!

100% this. I would have expected more critic thought on this site

By and large vigilantes exist on the fringes of decent society anyway. Our local FB warriors are all people who are dodgy as helll anyway

You do wonder if they are shouting so loud to deflect from themselves

As for those harping on about paedo apologists. Grow the fuck up

Pobblebonk · 10/08/2020 12:24

@copperoliver

If he is a pedo he deserves everything that's coming to him.
And what if he isn't? Does he still deserve it? Why?
Pobblebonk · 10/08/2020 12:27

@copperoliver

If they are 100% sure he's a pedo and they do something to him. He deserves it. It's a shame more weirdos aren't taken off the streets by ordinary people, the police are powerless so the people feel they need to protect their community. Good for them. Personally I think all convicted pedos should be Hanged.
How would you feel if someone randomly posts something on FB claiming they are 100% sure that you are a paedophile and gives your address, would you deserve the lynch mob that would turn up on your doorstep? Would you still be so keen on "ordinary people" deciding that they need to protect your community from you?
Pobblebonk · 10/08/2020 12:31

@AllsortsofAwkward

I think youre attitude would be different if this man harmed youre child, u rather be aware of anyone in the area so I can protect my children.
But the point is no-one knows that this man has harmed any child. All that they know is that he looks vaguely like an old photo of someone who has. Doesn't that change your attitude, @AllsortsofAwkward?
PhilSwagielka · 10/08/2020 12:32

Some of the comments on here remind me of things Tommy Robinson supporters have said to me about how I must be pro-rape and pro-paedophilia because I oppose him. They continued to say this to me even after I told them that I was sexually assaulted as a teen. I did not enjoy it. Why the fuck would I be pro-rape?

@copperoliver good luck with your paedo hunting. Just try not to kill the wrong person or set fire to the wrong house, OK?

mrsmuddlepies · 10/08/2020 13:58

@Passmethecrisps. I heard a very similar story. Vigilantes outside a home, frightening the woman and children who lived there. Her partner was in prison. The local councillor (incognito) took names of the protestors and each one had a letter from The Housing Association/Local Authority giving them a written warning over the next couple of days with a threat to evict them for further incidents of threatening behaviour.
Do report OP. Some posts on here are scary.

impossiblenottodo · 10/08/2020 16:57

OP if you are wanting intelligent and thoughtful....perhaps try and consider what is behind the views you don't agree with? Dismissing them as unintelligent is the easy option. Its easy if you feel yours is the morally superior view to think other views aren't valid.

A couple of things stand out to me...people wanting to know if there is a chance that someone who is a risk to their children is living nearby is being conflated with those who would commit acts of violence. Wanting to be informed is not the same as inciting violence. To lump everyone together is wrong.

And those posters whose comments shock - the "gets what he deserves" etc sentiment....well perhaps they are a bit disillusioned with the system?

Re the law - I live by the law - of course I do - because, well, society would be chaos otherwise. By and large I am a believer in our justice system. However....it absolutely does us let down in many ways - abused children, abused women, (record on rape is appalling), discriminates based on race.... it is not doing a fantastic job?! Indeed very far from it! So it is not surprising the public don't always feel confident.

Perhaps sharing information makes it harder to monitor those in the community...but only because we are attempting to manage offenders in the community who pose a significant risk in the first place. Then there is repeated reoffending, breaches of orders designed to protect vulnerable victims, repeated failures to comply with sex offender register requirements etc. I am fairly liberal when it comes to justice. Eg, I think the prison numbers are far too high, the prison regime is inhumane. BUT I also think that we do not sentence adequately to protect children. Deal with that and you will start to resolve some of the issues of mistaken identity. And protect more children.

And perhaps if less risk is managed in the community, people won't feel the need to share questionable unverified information on social media?

Re whether you would act differently if you had knowledge... I rather think you might parent at least a little differently. I definitely exercised more caution when I became aware of how many convicted sex offenders are in my local community. Only a little - mostly I just have to live with the risk. But i can understand people finding that difficult.

Thats my [long!] attempt at the more thoughtful alternative view!

SquashedSpring · 10/08/2020 18:36

Accusations of peadophilia are often used to justify vigilante attacks against those with disabilities, particularly autism and learning difficulties. People are hounded from their homes or even murdered.

Bijan Ebrahim, as mentioned above.

Steven Hoskin, forced to sign a false confession, tortured, dragged around on a dog lead and thrown to his death over a railway viaduct.

Keith Philpott, tortured for several hours and disembowled.

This is where vigilantism leads.