To find "yeah in 5 minutes" irritating?

[incywincydardar]

I seem to have a DH that doesn't ever spot when anything needs doing.
He now has a new habit of saying "yeah in 5 minutes" whenever I ask him to do something.
I'm cooking tea, and dog is pacing at the back door for a wee. DH is sat on his phone.
I call over "can you let the dog out please?" And he answers "yeah in 5 minutes". I cannot bear to watch dog crossing her legs for 5 minutes so I leave what I'm doing to let her out.
Today I did 3 loads of washing. As I'm taking one lot off of the line I call over "can you just bring me the wet washing out of the machine so I can hang it straight out please?" His answer "yeah in 5 minutes" so obviously I end up doing it myself.
Kids have finished their tea, I'm up to my elbows in washing up, I ask DH "can you just wet wipe their hands and faces please?" He answers "yeah in 5 minutes" I don't want my house plastered in sticky hand prints so I stop what I'm doing to deal with it.
AIBU to find this absolutely bloody infuriating.
He seems to think I'm just bossing him around, and because he doesn't like it he thinks to himself that he'll do the task when it suits him.
How do I deal with this???

Yes, I'd find that infuriating, and be saying, 'um, no DH, it needs doing now. Why don't you go back to your vital surfing of your fucking phone when you've done this one small thing. Like, in five minutes?'

In my house, it's ...'um, yeah, just give me a sec'.

So so annoying though.

1. If he opened his eyes then I wouldn't need to ask him to begin with.
2. What use is "in 5 minutes" when it needs doing now.

If I wanted it doing in 5 minutes I would have asked you 5 minutes ago. I'm asking now because it needs doing now

Infuriating rather than irritating. Does he feel that you're a controlling nag? As he said as much? (Although hopefully not using those exact words!)

Are you serious OP.

I would be furious at such a complete waste of space.

What a looser.

Yeah he often moans about how much I nag him.
To be fair he's not too bad at doing his fair share, so every day he'll do the dishwasher, put recycling out, walk the dog etc.
But it's just the little things that he doesn't seem to notice need doing, so if I point them out and ask him to help he gets ratty at being nagged.
And don't get me started on his phone.
Come 6pm he's in position on it and virtually impossible to move.
Apparently the man child game that he plays cannot be paused.

This needs a proper sit-down talk. You aren't working as a team, and it's not fair for him to make you feel like a nag.

Do you think that he knows that if he says he'll do it in five you'll just go ahead and do it so that's why he says that? Why is he so useless? Seriously, why on earth can't he wipe his own children's faces? I don't know how you've put up with it, I would have lost patience a long time ago.
Maybe you should start treating him like the child he is by saying things like, this is your five minute warning. In five minutes you need to come off your phone and clean your children's faces. You've got five minutes of screentime left before you need to walk the dog, etc.

Not a clue. But when he sees me stopping what I'm doing halfway through and doing the job I've asked him to do then he'll huff and say "for gods sake, I was going to do it. You're so impatient, I said 5 minutes" blah blah blah.

it’s an aversion to being told what to do. You need to find a way between you to get over this, talking is the only solution. It’s really bloody aggravating.

Why on earth do you pick up the slack and do the stuff yourself? You are fundamentally rewarding his jackass behaviour

He’s found the winning formula to doing nothing. What a pita, would drive me crazy.

It’s bad enough asking a grown person to do something.

It's aversion to taking responsibility. He shouldn't need to be asked.

Very passive aggressive from your DH, sit down chat telling him how you feel and asking the same of him would hopefully help.