I want to relocate with my children.

[CathyTre]

I am separated from my children’s father.

I want to relocate to my home town. I believe this would be better for me and the children, for reasons of job, transport, family and friend support and a better environment for us all.

My ex moved about forty minutes away in the same county when he left about four years ago for other woman when youngest was a baby.

The new area if I go would be an hour drive from him in a different county, realistically at rush hour an hour and twenty minutes.

I truly believe that this is the right move for me and my kids and also for my adult son who is troubled and in trouble and, whilst he does not live with me, could do with being away from the area we currently live in. At all.

My ex will be unhappy but I could offer more weekend contact (currently he has every other Friday and Saturday bringing back on Sunday afternoon) to make up for his missing midweek sleepover and as he is a teacher he could have extra time in school holidays too if he wanted.

Aibu?

It's not us you've got to convince. . .

But it sounds fair enough to me. Especially since he moved first. . .

That’s really not that far away. I doubt there’s any way he could stop you, but do you think he might insist on you doing the drop offs and pick ups? Family support and a happy mother is more important than how he feels about your move.

Are you sure adult ds will want to move? Does he have ties to local atea like a job?

That’s not that far, really.

Although it doesn’t sound like your adult son is a great person to be around your dc right now!

Is he your ex’s too?

Adult ds doesn’t live with me, others are little. Adult ds could do with not having a “base” in this area for various difficult reasons though. He already lives in the town I want to go to.

Middle ds is eight so I think school for him is a major concern but he hasn’t settled brilliantly in the place we live now and think he’d do better in the new place. Littlest is due to start in reception, so least problematic.

Adult ds also is both of ours but sees very little of ex. Because of treatment by ex really since we split up when he was 16.

I think 8 is young enough to make the move relatively seamlessly.

It’s not going to be easy and I am really considering everything but I do feel it’s a good move for me and my kids.

It’s not far in the big scheme of things. You can work this out with your ex.