My fiance was consoling a female "friend" who I had no idea existed before today. Before I found out this afternoon, he was distant with me and has been coming home late from work (which is over and beyond his salaried hours with no overtime), sometimes leaving for work at 4am instead of his actual 8am start time. If I broached the subject he usually bites my head off and says he is doing an audit for work which has lasted months already. He seems to always get regular calls and texts when he is at home mostly from work, so it gets very irritating as there's rarely any peace. I recently saw he received two calls from a woman at 11.30pm after he went to bed last Friday, his work phone was charging near me and I just looked at who it was. It was a woman's name with "Agency" next to it, I asked him about it and he claimed it was an accident. The next day he said the woman apologised for ringing by mistake.
This past week he has been particularly distant, we usually go for walks when he has days off work, he always insists on holding my hand and from yesterday he didn't, but I never made a big deal of it but noted the change. Today we walked in silence, my son was with us and it was awkward. It was as if his mind was elsewhere and he kept texting on his phone.
When we got home he went into the back garden for a smoke and of course his phone, he came back in after a while and I could hear a female voice over the phone as he was telling her he was on the way. My son asked him who it was and he ignored him. Then he told us he was "going back into work then somewhere else" then drove off. He had already been into work this morning to let a driver in and do filing (he works for a delivery company). I find these frequent trips to work odd, he doesn't seem to mind doing free work for essentially a wealthy company who have done well during this crisis. That's even IF he is at work, he told me earlier he is starting work at 3am tomorrow with a male colleague to get this audit done but I don't know what to believe now.
I texted him not long after he left, saying I heard a woman's voice at the other end of the phone and I bet he was going to see her. He replied a long while afterwards claiming she is a friend whose mum had just died and she was in bits, so he was there to console her. He claims they are not cheating but I have a gut feeling he is as it's been over 2 hours since he left and he replied to my further texts after a long while.
If she was only a friend then why would he be do short, abrupt and rude to me over the weekend? Why was he distant, surely just a friend wouldn't affect his relationship at home, it's why I believe it's more. Why keep her a secret? I don't know what he has told her about me, maybe that we are no longer getting on and he doesn't love me.
I am in my late 40's and have two adult children who still live at home, I am a carer for my son who has autism and learning difficulties. I know this will be my last relationship as I feel as though I can't ever get involved with anyone again. I have no friends near me or family, I was made an outcast for refusing to have an arranged marriage.
I don't know what to do now, I am tired of it all as he has been deceptive in the past, not having affairs but has lied. He is home now and claims he started chatting to her when she rang from the agency, then she made a visit to his work. He claims she got in touch the day I saw the missed calls and that her mum has been ill for 20 years and died, her dad was very upset too. He took her out to Mcdonalds to eat, then drove her home. He said he had to ask where she lived before he visited her. I said he never told me about her because he knew I would react this way, yet i've never said anything about him talking to his female colleagues at work. He also added she is leaving her boyfriend who is violent, I felt he was trying to get in there as she will soon be single and is vulnerable due to grief. I honestly sympathise as I lost both my parents when I was younger, so I know the pain, but I would never ring up a person I spoke to on the phone and met when I visited their place of work over anything other than work.
Am I wrong to feel this way? I told him about how I feel and if he respects me he shouldn't be crossing the line and doing what he did. He said he will tell her but not today because of her losing her mum. I only have his word for it, I find it odd how he is so close to her she felt she could only call him, yet he says they are only friends. He said she texted him at 2pm today to say her mum had died, this was while we were on our walk.