To not let him see them tomorrow

[iamtheoneandonlyyy]

My judgement is clouded. Or maybe not.
Recent ex, split due to domestic abuse and went to refuge with our children for a brief time.
Trying to be fair about access etc and have a reasonable routine however he has been using drop offs and pick ups as a way to continue messing with my head and feelings.
Anyway. Our children are 5, 3 and 1. He's asked to take them to the park tomorrow as it's near both of our homes and nice weather etc.
He's just been seen out with a new victim, or woman I should say. And seemed to be off his face on coke. There's no proof exactly but based on his past before and some slight suspicions I've had, I do know it's possible.
I now feel torn about him taking the kids out. But I can't work out if it's partly fury or the horrible feeling if there being someone else already or purely the drug issue.
In theory he will be sober by then and walking to the park but it just feels wrong handing them over knowing this, but they adore him and I don't want to let them down.
I don't trust my brain anymore, my knee jerk response is don't let them go but I don't want to punish them

You know he was off his face on coke, or suspect he was? Its Fine line.

Is there some green eyed monster in here, with him seeing someone else?

No they are with me full time, I had to give up work when we fled. I take them to him and pick them up because I can't have him here and it's literally just round the corner. I just want the children to be happy

No, no green eyed monster more pity. She's about to get her bank balance drained and home moved into that's for sure

How do you know he was on coke to this morning?

Well meaning people keep telling me what time he was posting this that and the other online.
Anyway, he's woken up and sent a vague message, still none the wiser.
Regardless of today though, this current arrangement isn't working very well I know that much.
Today wasn't his day to see them, he just said yesterday (to them not me) that he wanted to take them out if mummy says it's ok.
He'd already told them before I was there and they were excited so I didn't want to let them down.
I will be telling him that from now on no more arrangements out of what is scheduled. I want to be flexible but at the same time he will use it to create issues.

Ignore well meaning people who may or may not know what is going on. and yes stick to the arranged shedule.

Well they were right. It wasn't an arranged schedule anyway it was him changing the schedule.
Today has been yet another pile of hell.
I can't ignore the well meaning people because they actually do mean well but he doesn't.

Ime dc of your aged are easily swayed.
Oh df can't make it so let's make cakes instead.. /go to feed the ducks.