If you are disabled or chronically ill, do you ever get anxious about the future?

[blarblarblarrr]

I'm as well as can be expected, with my bunch of health problems, at the moment. I try not to think too much about what if the worst happens and I end up much worse in the next few years. It makes me panic to think of being alive but unable to do things for myself. I try to remind myself that it is not a certainty that the worst will happen.

I feel quite alone in this as I don't like to bring it up much with friends who have the same issues as me, as it is a sensitive topic. Some of said friends have deteriorated more than me, and are struggling with various aspects.

I wondered how other MNetters who have health problems manage thinking about the future? Do you ever feel overwhelmed?

Trying to arrange counselling for myself but is difficult where I am as not many providers, am not in UK.

I think my dh tries not too think too much about future. His condition could get better but may not,. Best to plan in short term.

Worrying makes his condition worse as well.

I have MS, I don’t think about the future, I live one day at a time, if I have had a particularly bad day, I focus on the new day to come. Living with a chronic illness is scary, but no one knows what the future will bring.

@Roselilly36

I have MS, I don’t think about the future, I live one day at a time, if I have had a particularly bad day, I focus on the new day to come. Living with a chronic illness is scary, but no one knows what the future will bring.

Yes, you're right. Especially for illnesses that fluctuate.

Though sometimes when a marked deterioration happens there is no coming back from it, and no recovering the loss of function.

I try not to but am worried how bad my arthritis will get my eyes I can deal with better I’ve had bad sight all my life. I work around it

It's just shit. I'm tired of it.

I am sorry to hear it, OP. I hope tomorrow is a good day.

Counselling sounds like a great idea, hope it comes through soon.

One day at a time sweet jesus

I plan small things ahead, with a fuzzy picture of a vague future. If things don’t go as planned/hoped, I try again with a slightly revised set of goals.

Frankly I’m impressed with myself just still being here so I try not to let the frustration of not being able to ‘be’ how I ‘want to be’ rob me from enjoying the present.

But similarly to you I have more or less stopped trying to talk about it to friends. I have joined a waiting list for more therapy.

Ultimately I feel very much on my own with it but as that is a familiar feeling for me it’s less distressing (than if I had been used to others’ help and then had to cope alone iyswim?)

nothing I can do/say to make it easier on you OP except say I think I understand and I hope you can access therapy to help

I believe in the philosophy that worrying about the future means you suffer twice so I try not to do that but I do prepare and take as many proactive measures as possible to keep myself as healthy as possible in the here and now and save for the future In case I need to fund health related expenses.

Ok I am sending some very unmumsnetty hugs your way. I hear you especially given that this week I have experienced the loss of function that I can’t recover from, its shit and I am panicking but past experience tells me I will adjust to it and get on with things but for now I will wallow. Please take comfort in knowing you are not alone and just reading that someone else gets how I am feeling right now made me feel less alone, thanks for posting.

I don't really. My arthritis can cause heart problems and a shorter life but I trust the doctors and my medication and I life a mostly normal, pain free life. Besides, medication has come a long way in the last 10 years, who knows what will be possible in the next 10. I do however realise that I'm fortunate and not everyone reacts well to drugs and I don't take that for granted

I can’t think about it too much. The medications I take to keep me functioning at a lower level than non Ill people have high risks associated with them. It’s likely I’ll need surgery at some point in my life and I probably won’t be able to have more kids and I have already missed so much of my daughters life by being in too much pain to go out. Life is shit but I’m hopeful that a medication will be right for me and things will improve.

I've got rheumatoid arthritis and I rarely think about the future. There's absolutely no point. I'm in enough pain as it is, why make things twice as bad as they already are by getting myself all wound up about the future?

One thing I do consider is ways things in the house could be adapted. I'm trying to get prepared in advance if you like. DH fitted a new kitchen last year, he made sure everything was the right height, included space to store a perching stool, installed lever taps etc. At some point in the next couple of years, we'll be doing the bathroom, we'll get handrails and a raised toilet because I'll need them at some point.

We also try and do as much as we can, while we can. For example, we both love camping but I expect there'll be a time, maybe in 10 years or so that I just won't be able to manage it anymore. So we go as often as possible, all over the country. I walk as much as I can, as often as I can, whilst I still can.

I have no idea how long I will be 'able' for, it might be 25 years, it might be 2.5 years. The only thing I am certain of is that I refuse to waste that time by fretting and catastrophising when I could be out there having a bloody good time. Disclaimer: I'm on a high dose of venlafaxine which obviously helps to keep my spirits up.

I don’t really worry or stress about it. I have a few chronic health problems and am aware that in the future, they’ll probably pose more of an issue than they do now, but I’m quite good at taking it as it comes and I am a very strong believer in not worrying about that which cannot be changed iyswim. I just choose to do what I can while I can now, that’s all anyone can do really.

I try not to think about it too much. Hopefully, I'll either be healthy(ish) or I'll die fairly quickly. DP will get the benefit of the pension fund if it's before I'm 67/70/85/whatever the government decides is a good point to stop expecting people to work.

As far as I'm concerned, if I get through the next six years without dropping dead, I'll be doing well. Because then I will have outlived my father, who had the same autoimmune disease I do, albeit far less physically debilitating (until the point he keeled over).

I wasn’t too worried when it was just me who was ill. Now DH is too and while I’m doing a lot better these days (both physically and mental health wise) I’m stressed and terrified a lot of the time. It’s not even the big things I worry about, but the day to day “fuck, I can’t cope with this” feeling. I am putting so much effort into pushing myself a little, that I can’t spare any more energy to pull him along too IYSWIM.

I have a degenerative condition, currently invisible and intermittent - not so much good days but bad v awful days.

On a day to day basis I have gradually added work arounds where needed, but took too long to accept and get adapted items to make things easier - stupid denial and stubbornness on my part.

I also suffer badly with mental illness, and have severe other conditions that compound everything.

Similar to pps the meds have their own issues too so I am trying to minimise their use as much as possible. I'm also very much a believer and user of complementary therapies which help with some/the lower level stuff.

If I think about it too much it IS overwhelming, I don't have a support network to speak of and getting official support is pretty much impossible where I live.

I'm in social housing in a flat and don't yet qualify for a ground floor/bungalow - a mixed blessing as it means I'm thankfully not "that" disabled yet but it also means I may have to deal with moving when I am!

I have days when I feel positive and pro-active and others when it feels hopeless and the fact I'm only 48 but already struggling to move, be stable on my feet and hold things seems so unfair and premature. My mums in her 70's and is more able than me!!

Adapt as much as possible, find workarounds to make life easier - it's not giving in it's getting on with it

Yes your are right @blarblarblarrr

I still live with symptoms from my first inflammatory attack, my left side was particularly affected, numb hands etc.

It is so hard, my life has changed so much. Constantly adapting is tiring and not knowing how you are going to feel which can change hourly, this heat is exhausting on top of the usual fatigue.

All any of us change do is accept the diagnosis and take the disease modifying therapy and any other treatments available & hope for the best. The future is too scary to contemplate so I refuse to go there. But some days are better than others for positivity, I totally agree. Handhold to everyone in this position.