What did you call her?! AIBU

[justifyyourlove]

Dinner time - 6 year old is pulling her brothers hair. Brother is a bit sick, crying a bit, so not in the best mood. I am in the shower. Come out just in time to hear husband telling daughter not to be a bitch! Not sure if she registered - noise in the background.

I go in - speak to him, tell him how inappropriate that word is to use, let alone on a 6 year old child?! I am absolutely appalled. He bats back that I’ve said terrible things too (I struggled with the decision to have children) and that is even worse than what he said. He has form for this though - if I have an issue with him, he will have pre-disposed things on me so it’s all equal. I’ve left the room as I got so angry. Kids/him having dinner as per normal, as if nothing just happened.

So every time you point something out to him he turns it around so something is your fault? Like DARVO? Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.

Calling a 6 year old a bitch is disgusting.

Have you said things as bad to the children?! That sounds like a very toxic environment for them to grow up in - sounds like some counselling is desperately needed all round.

Theres no circumstance where it's acceptable to call a 6yo a bitch. Obviously she shouldn't have been pulling her poorly brothers hair.
Do you also say things to the children or just to him in private? If you're both talking to your kids like this then you're gonna screw them up big time.

Must be nice to.watch your kids being abused

No never to the children - ever. I have said to him that sometimes I think back and life would have been a bit easier if we had fully considered how children would impact our life. That’s what I said. I absolutely love my children and I do my best for them - I really do.