Accent wars

[Argggghhneedclarity]

I'm originally from the South of England, but have lived in the north for 20 years now. I have a bit of a mixed up accent but nothing major. I still say the 'ah' sound in grass, path, castle etc most of the time. DH comments a lot on this and has said a couple of times that DS (3) will get bullied for saying 'grahss'. I would obviously hate for DS to be bullied, so have started becoming more conscious of my 'ah'ing...
However, I know some people that have grown up in the north of England and still speak with an old- style bbc accent.
And DS might be more bothered by DH picking up on and scrutinizing my accent and DS's.
Am I being unreasonable to just carry on talking how I talk? It's not a strong accent.

There is nothing wrong with saying ah or a hard a in bath/grass. I had this with my kids we are in th idlands and they say a in Bath, I am more southern so say ah. They were telling me i was wrong. Neither is wong, don,t change how you talk.

Thank you. I'm sure he'll start talking like his friends once he's at school...

Don't change your accent! As you say, he'll probably change it himself at school. 5 year olds won't bully him for that. My DCs are growing up in a "mixed accent" house and they are surviving

I'm the opposite. Northern but lived in south for many years, but I could/will never say barth/arsk/larst etc as sounds and feels completely unnatural to me! Of course you should just keep your own accent. Your DS will pick up the accent of the area and of those around him rather than yours... but you absolutely shouldn't deliberately change or feel self conscious of the way you naturally speak.

This is only your husbands opinion and it is wrong.

I live in the (Very) north of England and always have. In school in the 80s & 90s there were many accents from all over the UK and no one ever got pulled up on it.

And now my kids who have been to school in the 00’s and 10’s also don’t blink an eye at different accents.

So do not worry for one more moment.

Your accent will change slightly the longer you live somewhere. Mine used to be quite neutral- I was raised in West Wales, did lots of singing and acting and reading. I have now lived in between Swansea and Cardiff for longer than I lived there and my accent has slowly become more "local"
I do consciously try to avoid it as much as I can but little bits of local creep in, such as "I'll do it now, in a minute!"
I can hear myself say it and I get pissed off with myself. :D

There's a lovely video online with a little boy and his mum is from northern Ireland and his dad is Welsh and he's giggling madly as he uses a Welsh accent to pronounce Moo with his dad and N. Irish one for his mum.

I don't like that your husband is expecting you to change how you speak. If he's that bothered, he shouldn't have married a southerner! I'd start by telling DH to back off - you should not be made to feel that your accent or pronunciation is wrong because you are right

We found that the DC simply became “bilingual” and used the local accent sometimes and our usual Southern accent at home.

I'm a Londoner, haven't lived there for over 50 years, but still have my south London accent.

I'm from the South of England living in North East Scotland, Doric country.

My accent is definitely changing like ya ken 😂

Dont worry at all! I grew up in the north west but our family is not from there. My mum is very 'southern posh' and my dad is south Welsh but with only a lilt.
I spoke differently to everyone at school and no one cared! I naturally amended my accent a bit at school but it has remained similar to my mum's, just with inflections of where I grew up occasionally (we left when I left school and have lived back in the south ever since)
I wouldn't give it another thought, honestly!

My DC are growing up in a mixed accent household and my DD actually shouted at me the other day for how a pronounce bath. I pronounce it Baff and she pronounces it bath.

Thanks everyone for helpful comments. You've put my mind at rest xx

His accent will change very quickly when he starts school.

OP don't ever change anything. Never.

I have lived in this country (the north) for 21 years and still get abuse for my accent but fuck them all.

My accent is part of me and my culture and they can shove their bullying where the sun doesn't shine.

I'm from S Yorkshire and use a hard "a" in most words. But in some parts of the county, a hard "a" is used, except, oddly, in the word "plasterer", which is pronounced with an H sound.

So I don't think it matters, or that a many people would even notice

Just be who you are, people always have something to say no matter what! I'm from Devon, I once worked with a group of people from Bournemouth who took the piss out of me for sounding like a farmer. When I moved to Newcastle people kept telling me my accent is posh!? My partner is from Cumbria and has lived in Newcastle and now down south, he's had people from his home town ask where he's from because his accent isn't as strong as theirs but down south everyone notices he's northern!

My friend is from Hitchin and she lives in Manchester with her husband and two kids - the kids sounded like her a bit when they were younger but they have Manc accents since starting school/nursery.

Tell your Dh to stuff it. I haven't lived in Wales since my 14th birthday I'm 50 and my accent still comes out at times

My friend moved from the home counties to Yorkshire decades ago and still sounds southern (mostly). When her small daughter started talking she had the broadest Yorkshire accent. Possibly from child minder?

My brother moved up there for uni and sounded like a born and bred Yorkshirema by the end of his first term. Likewise my mum came over from Australia and lost her accent within weeks.

Sorry hit send too soon. I meant to say don't change but I'd be telling your DH to fook off.

I have a more foreign accent to English vs English. My kids have English accents because this is where we live. He will not sound like you, (sorry), for long! I tried to get dd to impersonate my accent recently and she couldn't do it. Not at all!

You have absolutely nothing to worry about and nor does your DS. Your DH . If mine told me to amend my accent to fit in, I'd tell him where to get off I'm afraid!

I'm Irish but have a very RP English accent, I've never had and problems beyond a bit of light teasing. DH never lost his very Welsh accent.

It's often been funny when people have assumed as I'm 'posh' that I can't understand Irish or Welsh :)

i'm bbc almost rp irl but you wouldn't know it as i f and jeff on here but not inrlunless i'm really angry, i've been told then, it's like listening to the queen say 'oh fuck !'

My dh and I are both northern. Dh was brought up by 'posher' sounding parents and grew up with very little accent and spoke 'properly', I had a bit of an accent but not too broad. Neither of us were bullied for it, even me who grew up on a council estate.

We moved to the SW with our four dc when our oldest was 9 and youngest not quite 1 yr old, they weren't bullied because of their accents but also naturally changed their accents a little with living and going to school among people with different accents. They don't have particularly northern or southern accents and are not bullied for them.

In fact, when I get excited\emotional etc my northern accent really comes out and people tend to like hearing it, especially some people at church as they have rarely heard a northern accent! They are more used to hearing Polish accents than northern ones as there are more Polish families in church than northern English.

I don't think people are as bothered about regional accents\pronunciation now as much as they were in the past, after all, we have many more accents around from other places that we are used to now.