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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wearing masks everywhere indoors is so depressing

649 replies

Sossen · 08/08/2020 08:16

AIBU to feel frustrated and, at times, a bit upset that I can’t really do anything indoors now, either on my own or with my kids, without wearing a god damn face mask? I’ve just about been able to tolerate wearing them whilst food shopping but that’s because I now take a lot of time to write out a list and meal plan beforehand and I get in and get out, as opposed to before, when I took the time to browse, picked out what I fancied, and maybe tried on some clothes whilst there. I can cope with this ok but what is depressing me is that my ds is desperate to go to a few indoor places like the trampoline park (our local one has strict guidelines in hygiene social distancing and staggering sessions) and I’ll take him but the thought of sitting there for an hour and a half opposite my dh trying to talk to him with a mask on or watching my ds play and he can’t hear me because of the mask, well it fills me with dread. I had a cinema pass which i’ve has for years but I’ve already cancelled It as there is no way I can sit for up to 3 hours with a mask on, it would be unbearable. Every day out we go on that is predominantly outdoors but have some indoor areas I’ll have to remember to take masks with me. If I nip to post a letter, pick up my medication, go into a public car park to get my car after work I have to wear a mask. I expect to be told I’m moaning but I can’t help it. I fully resent the fact that I am being told to cover my face and I have no choice in the matter. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

OP posts:
Divebar · 08/08/2020 08:34

I have some cotton ones but found them too hot and claustrophobic ( they had a lining that you could insert another layer). I’ve found the disposable ones to be much cooler and less suffocating.

TwilightPeace · 08/08/2020 08:34

Nobody likes wearing them. They’re annoyingly, especially in this heat.
But it’s better than being locked down.
You just need to suck it up unfortunately.

SexTrainGlue · 08/08/2020 08:35

"Totally agree OP! If masks were efficient at preventing the spread of corona, they’d have made us wear them from the beginning!"

Thus isn't really true.

I think UK introduced them rather late, but there has been an increase in evidence of their usefulness growing over recent months.

Advice changing to reflect the increased body of evidence is a good thing.

HumphreyGoodmanswife · 08/08/2020 08:35

I feel your pain OP. I was happily doing the supermarket shop a few weeks ago, everyone social distancing, nice atmosphere in the supermarket. I've now returned to ocado (even though I told myself I wouldn't after being dumped by them early in lockdown Hmm)

I don't go anywhere indoors atm unless it's a quick nip into a local shop for an essential.

We decided to pop to the garden centre (outdoors) yesterday for 5 minutes. We knew what we wanted, no browsing required. The nonsense of everyone outside in masks when we could be in a park/ the street without them is ridiculous. Staff don't need them even though they're walking passed numerous people all day and people sat in the indoor cafe close together don't need them either apparently but me and my DH do walking outside near no-one. We're not bothering again.

Luckily we're an outdoorsy family and have had some lovely camping trips/days out walking, cycling over the last month which has saved my sanity. Without that I'd have lost the will by now.

This week we have eaten out at a local restaurant though which was fabulous. Lovely atmosphere, happy chatter, everyone happy and I don't need to wear a damn mask whist knowing I'm helping the local eateries in these hard times. Try a restaurant, it's a win-win Wink

MinnieMousse · 08/08/2020 08:35

Totally agree OP! If masks were efficient at preventing the spread of corona, they’d have made us wear them from the beginning!

They didn't want the public buying up stocks of masks when there was a huge shortage. Research has been done by then and mask-wearing has been found to be the simplest measure to reduce transmission. It's being introduced all over the world. We got transmission low through lockdown, now we need to find other ways to keep it low.

Original poster
Sossen · 08/08/2020 08:35

See I’ve not looked at the science side of things but I do wonder how effective they are seeing as we weren’t told to wear them back in March. Being told to wear the after the horse has bolted ie after the peak of the virus and numbers are going down doesn’t
really make sense to me.

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 08/08/2020 08:35

I've had to wear them for hours at a time to go to the hospital and honestly I barely notice it now. 9 times out of ten, my daughter and I would come away forgetting that we had them on and not remember to remove them.

I'm not sure if it's the quality of the mask that makes a difference or just being relaxed about it.

MinnieMousse · 08/08/2020 08:36

since then

FishOnPillows · 08/08/2020 08:36

I feel similar. I cannot stand them. I can’t stand the feeling of them, or how they make me feel disconnected from the world. And by “can’t stand” I mean they’re causing me to either shutdown or meltdown. My psychologist has said I’m exempt, but the one time I tried that I got so many questions and snide remarks that it was just as awful.

So I’m just not going anywhere except walking/parks outside. I was already struggling to deal with the new rules for supermarkets etc, so hadn’t been going to those. Now other things are open I’m just not going. Life is much the same as during full lockdown for me, I’m figuring it’s going to be this way for a long time now.

corythatwas · 08/08/2020 08:37

How about accessorising a bit and getting some pretty masks in? Try to focus on it as something that gets us out of lockdown, something that liberates you.

Original poster
Sossen · 08/08/2020 08:38

That sounds really hard. I’ve heard a lot of people say they’re exempt but are too scared to not wear one in case they get abuse. It’s so wrong.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 08/08/2020 08:38

Surgical masks are much more breathable and comfortable. Also, if you wear them upside down (with the bendy part under your chin), they don't hurt your nose. Rubbish, but quite bearable

And this is why wearing masks is pointless for some people. The wire is there for a reason FFS. Don't wear it upside down @PicsInRed

Bumpsadaisie · 08/08/2020 08:38

It's about trying to avoid a new lockdown and saving lives and protecting the nhs.

It remains the case that Covid is a very malignant and dangerous disease for those who have a severe immune system reaction to it.

There's also a lot we don't know about it - only now are people starting to make links between heart problems/strokes and a whole load of post Covid problems.

Have a watch of this adult audience programme by the two doctors in the CBBC programme Operation Ouch - and I think you will feel better about having to wear a mask after.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000ljnb

Chanjer · 08/08/2020 08:39

Hey at least your can wear one

I found them oppressive to begin with but got used to it fairly quickly

I don't think I'd like to go to the cinema in one or go to a tramp park in one so I probably won't

Original poster
Sossen · 08/08/2020 08:40

I’ve been trying to think like that I really have but to be honest I feel rather resentful and frustrated. I started my Christmas shopping
last month which I’d never dream of doing usually but the thought of shopping for my kids gifts wearing a mask having to go to lots or different shops fills me with dread. Ordering online which I usually hate is going to be my new normal.

OP posts:
wanderings · 08/08/2020 08:40

A balanced response, unusual for MN in this issue. Is the tide turning? My bingo card so far is blank.

Sooner or later the public will vote with their wallets. Saint Boris threw this at us to make it look as if he was doing something (no coincidence he announced it in the same breath as squeeeeeeezing the brakes and cancelling Eid), and because he thinks the public are still in favour of the face nappies. He’ll backtrack if someone tells him people are refusing to spend money if they have to muzzle up.

Bumpsadaisie · 08/08/2020 08:41

If you really cant wear one that is different. Our local supermarket has a sign at the entrance reminding people about hidden disability and that some fellow shoppers may not be wearing a mask because unable to.

WhoWants2Know · 08/08/2020 08:42

It wasn't mandatory to wear them in March because any masks that were available were needed for medical staff and care homes. We didn't just have loads of them available for the public to purchase. (But even then, the WHO were demonstrating how to make a face covering at home and there were adverts on TV)

Since then, manufacturing has stepped up massively, in addition to all the people making them at home. You can buy them in all the supermarkets and so it's easy enough that everyone can get them. That's why it's mandatory now, instead of then.

ConkerGame · 08/08/2020 08:44

YANBU everyone hates them. But I guess the alternative is lockdown so it’s better than that? I’m just not going to indoor places atm except the supermarket, where I rush round. Thank god for internet shopping and deliveries!

vanillandhoney · 08/08/2020 08:44

Have you tried something like a cotton buff instead of a mask? I have Hygge bands that I normally wear to keep my hair off my face but I use them as face coverings now and they're much more breathable.

I struggled big time with masks - surgical ones were the worst, cotton okay but I struggled to see as my glasses steamed, but the buffs are definitely the best of a bad bunch and the fit the definition of "face covering" just fine.

I agree though, they're awful and I only wear one when I absolutely have no other option - eg. paying for petrol or if I desperately need to pop to the supermarket. Otherwise I buy everything online and haven't shopped for pleasure once since this whole fiasco started. I also won't be going to the cinema, theatre or anywhere else indoors any time soon!

Original poster
Sossen · 08/08/2020 08:45

Do you know what I’m inclined to agree with you there. I don’t like BJ but at first I thought he was managing this crisis ok. I soon changed my mind though. He doesn’t want any back lash from the public, and although I feel that some measures have been put in place to protect us, I also think some have been put in place so he can say see I told you so you should have followed the rules and this is where we are.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 08/08/2020 08:46

@Sossen

I’ve ordered some cotton face masks so they might be better then the clinical ones. My ds doesn’t need to wear one as he’s under 11 but they do freak him out a bit.
Why? Explain to him why people are wearing them, get him to wear one and try it out. He really doesn’t need to be scared. Maybe you are talking about it too much in front of him.
Chanjer · 08/08/2020 08:47

Don't let the fact we've got an inept government stand in the way of your own good sense though

If you know they're handling it badly then you've got ideas of what they're doing wrong and can act accordingly

TheGriffle · 08/08/2020 08:48

We’re going to the seaside soon on holiday and I’m dreading the times my dds will want to go in the arcades now masks are mandatory. They feel suffocating to me and I get too hot and sweaty in them. Having to wear one going in and out of all the little seaside shops and arcades makes me want to just stay in our cottage. Thankfully I don’t think it will be too hot when we go so it might just be bearable.

chantico · 08/08/2020 08:48

That sounds really hard. I’ve heard a lot of people say they’re exempt but are too scared to not wear one in case they get abuse. It’s so wrong

If they can wear one - as you seem to say they are doing - then they should not be exempt.

Exemptions are for those who really cannot wear one at all (yes, I know there'll be a bit of a grey area between can/can't, but it's not likely to be large).

'Finds difficult' = let's help in sourcing the easiest and comfiest face coverings, perhaps something other than a mask
'Finds impossible' = exempt

It's so important to get through this winter, as there won't be a vaccine in time. Just as it was great to realise we'd flattened the peak, wouldn't it be great to have stayed on top of it spdurung the cold and wet months. And by spring there could be oodles of progress on vaccines

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