Not confident

[Name5532]

I’m very shy, awkward and lack basic assertiveness skills. Any tips please

I think the old adage 'fake it till you make it ' works. I also read somewhere that another trick is to imagine that you are someone else who is confident, and act how you think they would act.

push yourself. Set up challenges, visualise how you're going to tackle them. Then DO IT.

You have as much right to be here as anyone else. You have your own talents and unique personality just the same as anyone else. You have just as much to say and it is as important as other people.

I'm a fan of fake it til you make it, I'm naturally shy and introverted. I agree with @CuntyMcBollocks about visualising what a confidant person would do and try to channel them (I think of Erica from Real housewives of Beverly hills lol).

Thank you everyone for the tips. I’m going to start a new job soon and don’t want the label again of the “quiet, shy person”

Head up, shoulders back and smile.

I have a very shy friend that readies herself for walking into a room of new people by saying "tits and teeth" out loud just before she enters.

You don't need to be the office wag, but just as tedious is the corner cringer. Seek middle ground with some polite chitchat and offer to make tea.

@TSSDNCOP thank you!

I'd say don't go too far the other way in forcing yourself to be something you're not. I was very shy and quiet all through school and thought I'd just reinvent myself as a sociable party animal when I went to uni. It didn't work, I was trying to be something I wasn't and I think people can tell.

I later found that it's much better to understand an work with the person I really am, and that's how you develop inner confidence. I don't feel I have to talk for no reason now, but when I do talk people tend to listen.

I would also say that the advice above about looking up and out is important. As a child / teenager I was always looking at the floor when I was walking and my mum worked hard to get me out of the habit. Posture makes a big difference to our mental state. There's even research to say that people who do a 'power pose' in a mirror before an interview do much better!