To have massive FOMO and worry this will happen repeatedly (local lockdown)

[Napqueen1234]

We live on the borders of the local lockdown in Greater Manchester (basically one of the small towns outside it) but virtually all our friends live in the next town along which is Merseyside. I feel so left out as they are all able to meet in pubs, go for meals, to each other’s houses (following the rules max 6, 2 households etc) but still. I know we can meet in parks etc but they don’t all have kids and just want to meet in pub gardens. I worry that winter will mean Manchester gets locked down a lot as a large city and densely populated so more likely to have spikes. It was ok when everyone we locked down but seeing friends out when we can’t really socialise is so depressing. We have young DC so DH and I can’t even go out for a meal or drink etc alone as we can’t use a babysitter. I was feeling so low in lockdown, I was doing better but my mood is sinking back down. Does anyone feel similar? Any advice?

Also I don’t agree that FOMO is for teenagers.

Likewise. Are we supposed to not have emotions once we hit 20?

This sounds like something my teen DD would say. It’s life at the moment, you just have to get on with it.

@yossell
Exactly what @guiltynetter said.

@guiltynetter

it's ridiculous because you can't meet in your own garden. I can't take my kids, to see their grandma, in her huge garden where we could socially distance. but you can meet in a pub beer garden where theyre packed in and almost definitely not sitting with their own family members.

I think I'd still see your mum in her garden and keep your distance.

And I say this as someone who shielded for 12 weeks and have really stuck to the lockdown 'rules' over the last few months.

[quote NikeDeLaSwoosh]@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Turns out you’re right, it changed on aug 5th.

I stand corrected![/quote]
Thank you for being so gracious! I don't like correcting people but I think it's important we know what's what in relation to these restrictions.
But it's not really about whether it's law or not is it? It's about staying safe. Neighbours had her parents and adult siblings round yesterday and I overheard the Mum say that Auntie X had been to see her the night before.
Really pisses me off that some people think the rules don't apply to them.

Maybe you shouldn't have used the phrase FOMO if you wanted to be taken seriously.

And we're back to spying on our neighbours and getting pissed off that someone might be enjoying their life a bit. Yay.

I’d say FOMO is probably one of the reasons why there’s the local lockdown. It’s FOMO that caused the spike in the wealthy village of Hale because the rich folk couldn’t stand not being able to have house parties or socialise as if nothing is wrong. It’s FOMO that caused the mixing between certain demographic households et voila we have a local lockdown!

This mess is happening during summer, imagine how it will be come autumn and winter 😳

@SuperCaliFragalistic

Maybe you shouldn't have used the phrase FOMO if you wanted to be taken seriously.

MN is full of acronyms and abbreviations. You're being ridiculous.

@Thewiseoneincognito

I’d say FOMO is probably one of the reasons why there’s the local lockdown. It’s FOMO that caused the spike in the wealthy village of Hale because the rich folk couldn’t stand not being able to have house parties or socialise as if nothing is wrong. It’s FOMO that caused the mixing between certain demographic households et voila we have a local lockdown!

This mess is happening during summer, imagine how it will be come autumn and winter 😳

@Thewiseoneincognito I could have done with you on another thread where a poster was adamant that said place wasn't a village and was not responsible for the tighter restrictions.

To other posters - the OP is struggling . Why can't we support them instead of knocking their use of FOMO? People are struggling with different things at different times during lockdown. Being kind costs nothing. I live in an area subject to the tighter restrictions and this last week has been way harder than the previous 4 months put together.

@guiltynetter

it's ridiculous because you can't meet in your own garden. I can't take my kids, to see their grandma, in her huge garden where we could socially distance. but you can meet in a pub beer garden where theyre packed in and almost definitely not sitting with their own family members.

According to the current guidelines, it says you should not:

"socialise outdoors in a group of more than six people from different households; gatherings larger than six should only take place if everyone is from exclusively from two households or support bubbles".

By omission, I take that to allow you to take at least four of your kids to your grandma and meet in her huge garden.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do

FOMO isn't a mumsnet acronym! It's used by teenagers who are gutted to be missing out on a party but have chosen to do something else instead and are regretting their choice.

I fully understand OP I live a whole 300m on the wrong side of the Greater Manchester border. I had a baby 3 weeks into lockdown and was just starting to cheer up a bit, seeing my parents in their garden & house at a distance etc.

I'm fed up. The case numbers haven't even gone up where I am and apparently despite being able to unlock suburbs of Leicester the government isn't going to unlock any part of Greater Manchester until every borough is right down. So we're not being unlocked until they get the numbers down in a different town nearly 15 miles away. It's ridiculous.

@runbummyrun

Just fucking get on with it and stop whinging. Do what you want.

The police don't have the time or resources to "police" ANY of this effectively.

The worst that can happen is you get a fine .... a fine for living your life.

There are exemptions down most guidelines anyway so just crack in with your life.

I'm definitely not advocating the coronavirus police approach and wagging fingers at anyone they decide is breaking the rooooles, but advocating an attitude of "do whatever you want, fuck everyone else" is irresponsible.

The police don't have resource, so it's the responsibility of people in society to make changes, maybe have to forego some things, scale back on some socialising, but trying to do things safely, not take the view that "because the police can't catch me, I can go back to normal."

That's selfish and clueless in a global pandemic.

Maybe think about why you are worried about missing out with that group of friends. It's understandable that you may feel a bit lonely/claustrophobic and fed up of being indoors. However, your description FOMO, suggests that there is some kind of competitiveness within that friendship?

Are you worried that if you don't go to these meet-ups you are somehow going to end up being 'pushed out', or on the edges of the group when you return? If they are jostling amongst themselves to be more 'in' the group than others, then they are not really very good friends.

Why should you being away from the group for a while make a difference? You may have a friendship problem, not a lockdown problem.

@yosell if you live in an area with the new restrictions you cannot meet in private gardens. The guidance you linked to is explicit about that (click on 'changes to restrictions'

@SuperCaliFragalistic

FOMO isn't a mumsnet acronym! It's used by teenagers who are gutted to be missing out on a party but have chosen to do something else instead and are regretting their choice.

I know. I'm simply saying that using an acronym or initials doesn't stop people taking each other seriously on MN. I don't know why someone should be slated for using one.

Wherever FOMO started, it's now used by plenty of mature adults that I know.

@Bromeliad

I fully understand OP I live a whole 300m on the wrong side of the Greater Manchester border. I had a baby 3 weeks into lockdown and was just starting to cheer up a bit, seeing my parents in their garden & house at a distance etc.

I'm fed up. The case numbers haven't even gone up where I am and apparently despite being able to unlock suburbs of Leicester the government isn't going to unlock any part of Greater Manchester until every borough is right down. So we're not being unlocked until they get the numbers down in a different town nearly 15 miles away. It's ridiculous.

Ah Bromeliad I feel for you and everyone with a new baby. I think the issue with Greater Manchester is that the city centre is a hub with people travelling in and out for work and socialising so all the outlying areas are linked by the city centre. It's so frustrating though.

Yossell, those aren't the relevant guidelines for people living in areas where there are extra regulations. The OP and I assume the poster you quoted are subject to those extra regulations, so are expected not to meet a friend or relative on their garden.

OP, this is unpoliceable, especially if you were to go outside Greater Manchester to where your friends live. I wouldn't advocate doing anything risky, but if I were you there's no way I would be refraining from seeing people outside.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot I keep being told this, but I also used to live in Leicester and I know the areas they've unlocked very well. If anything they're even more connected to the centre than the town around Manchester are and there are much smaller distances involved. It just doesn't add up, if they can unlock places like Oadby they can unlock boroughs around Manchester.

There aren’t half some snarky Posters on Mumsnet. I’m in my late 50s and use the term FOMO. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t understand the mentality of people who go out there way to pick on other posters use of language. It’s a bit sad of them.

[quote Bromeliad]@RockingMyFiftiesNot I keep being told this, but I also used to live in Leicester and I know the areas they've unlocked very well. If anything they're even more connected to the centre than the town around Manchester are and there are much smaller distances involved. It just doesn't add up, if they can unlock places like Oadby they can unlock boroughs around Manchester. [/quote]
It would be really interesting to know what the differences are and why there's a different approach in Leicester.

Merseyside is likely to be locked down next - especially if people flout the rules. Speaking to friends this week, they fear there is more to come and as they are so close to Manchester. They will inevitably be next if people cross over from the Manchester lockdown and pass it on to them. They will be sad when they are locked down and you can go out. It's just the way it is.

Sorry if using FOMO put anyone off I thought it was a universal acronym now! And to those saying just do it I understand the frustration and that attitude but I will stick to it as clearly there must be a risk and I don’t want to make things worse. It’s not a case of being left behind or a bad friendship group on the contrary they’re great have kept in touch and are disappointed we can’t go to stuff. As pp with a baby said (we too have a lockdown Baby) it’s the frustration that things were finally settling after a difficult time and now I wanna can’t get support again which we needed really. Anyway of course it is what it is, will happen loads over winter etc. Just struggling.

You shouldn't do anything you feel uncomfortable with. But that's quite trusting of you to assume the ban on socialising in private gardens whilst still being able to go out to indoor, closed premises with people you don't know stemmed from a risk based assessment.