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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Early Intervention/HV, I think someone has reported us for something?

52 replies

PonfusedCarent · 07/08/2020 15:57

Had a random message from someone from the Health Visiting team asking for a telephone appointment. I called and said I was a bit confused as the last HV during the 2 year assessment said that children are seen next via school so they won't be involved unless we need help. It's been a year and we have no issues to go back to them with so this has confused me.

The person I spoke to said they have some sort of special list that my DC3 is on but didn't have notes. She queried if DC has any illnesses which DC does so she said it might be that, not to worry about it and it could even just be a quick check in. There was something about the way she said she didn't have notes that has concerned me.

I'm worried about what this is really about and have read about "early intervention". I've got to wait a month to find out what this is for. Even if we have been reported, I can't think of any circumstances where something would have warranted concern besides one of my neighbours who is nosey and is constantly out whenever anyone is in their garden. We tend to stay away from most of our neighbours as they get very dysfunctional, antisocial and also want to know everything about anything. About a month ago, this neighbour asked me for a stick from my garden that DC had been playing with (pretending it was a broom, wand, etc.). I didn't think much of it until they said the sticks were dangerous for kids and could poke their eyes out and they were anxious about it.

Does anyone have any experience of being referred back to a HV?

OP posts:

Pittapitta · 07/08/2020 15:59

Health visitors are not compulsory just tell them no thank you don’t want a visit.

NC4Now · 07/08/2020 15:59

You say your child has been ill? Have they been in hospital? You usually get a follow up from the HV if they have.
If they can wait a month to speak to you it doesn’t sound like anything to worry about.

LordOftheRingz · 07/08/2020 16:00

Sod that I would be ringing the HV and asking for clarity, or the GP.

bluebadgehelp101 · 07/08/2020 16:00

Honestly if they were in any way concerned they would not be leaving it for a month. I had similar, it turned out that a speech therapist wasn't happy about advice that I had parroted that my HV had given me. The SLT phoned to give off to the HV and the HV just wanted to clarify what she said. There wasn't any welfare concern at all.

lyralalala · 07/08/2020 16:00

If you have to wait a month before they see you or talk to you again then you haven't been referred for anything serious or worrying. They'd want to see you much sooner if that was the case.

It could be due to your DC3's illness. We had a call about DD4 because she has a condition that requires a lot of care. The HV and GP's are calling parents of children with intense conditions to check in how they are doing after the stresses of lockdown. Our call was from the HV even though we haven't seen her for a couple of years.

Thebig3 · 07/08/2020 16:02

Exactly what the pp said.....HV are not compulsory. Just say no thank you. I would have thought if anyone reported you for something it would go via social services???

WisestIsShe · 07/08/2020 16:04

Early intervention isn't a negative thing, it's about making sure a family has all the support it needs in place. It doesn't mean there's any concern about your parenting etc. perhaps it's linked to your child's health issue.

Milkshake54 · 07/08/2020 18:10

If a report had been made, you would have got a call from the contact team who receives the report. They are unable to refer on to any other interventions, without your consent first.
It is more likely a visit has been suggested because of the health needs of you DC.

AutumnLeavesSeptember · 07/08/2020 18:24

We get extra calls at times as DH is unwell. Our HV is great and it's nice to have someone looking out for us. They probably just want to check you're all ok with your DD illness. If you'd been reported it would be the SW surely?

weebarra · 07/08/2020 18:27

I got extra support when DD was little as I was diagnosed with cancer when she was 6 weeks old.

Bluepolkadots42 · 07/08/2020 18:36

Are you in a south west london borough by any chance? If so, my friend has had this. Was sent a letter telling them their DC had been put onto a special needs early help register!! It was the first they'd heard of it. They phoned up and were told there was a massive glitch during lockdown with admin department/computer system or similar which meant tons of people were sent that letter who shouldn't have been and people who should have received it weren't sent it. Total and utter balls up. Definitely phone HV team and query it.

Remy82 · 07/08/2020 18:37

Very likely early intervention meaning a health plan of similar for when your DC starts school or through pre-school if they have an illness - as many have said if there was any kind of report regarding child safety it wouldn’t be a month to wait and would likely be social services or similar not the HV team.

itsgettingweird · 07/08/2020 18:39

You are waiting a month.

If they had any actual concerns it would be immediate.

It'll be a flag on system and a catch up. But people are right HV are voluntary engagement.

But on the flip side early intervention is key if there are any issues so seems silly to turn down meeting until you know what it's for.

SinkGirl · 07/08/2020 18:42

Did they say early intervention or early help?

It’s highly likely to be because your child has medical issues - they are supposed to check in and do an early help assessment to ensure you get the right support (not that you will, but it’s a box ticking exercise)

Pregnantandredundant · 07/08/2020 18:42

@Bluepolkadots42 we are in the same London borough I suspect because I had this, I panicked!

Original poster

PonfusedCarent · 07/08/2020 18:43

DC3's condition is manageable and nothing serious, as the hospital are aware and DC has had it since 6 weeks old. At no point has there been any extra help/support and it's now nearly a year since DC has seen anyone for said condition. I have cried in front of the first HV before DC was diagnosed with 2 conditions the HV missed for quite a while and still did not have support. Although, once we knew what it was, we really didn't need any support and the only support we needed before was less judgement for something that we couldn't do anything about.

I know it's obviously not something they think is urgent but want to follow up on, the lady on the phone said "we're just here to help and support families" which made me think what have we done/said to make anyone think we're not coping?!

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 07/08/2020 18:46

You seem very defensive op, normal reaction would be this is a follow up for his health, after all it is a health visitor, not social services, why are you so concerned it’s about a report of your parenting?

2bazookas · 07/08/2020 19:04

Strange she knew nothing about the child or notes.
I don't give any personal details or information on the telephone to an unexpected cold caller. Like the person who phoned yesterday saying he was "from the insurers, it's about your automobile accident".

Original poster

PonfusedCarent · 07/08/2020 19:19

@Bluntness100 From what I read, any agency can start early intervention to investigate an issue someone has referred to them. Secondly, if you had my neighbours, you'd realise why I wonder if someone has reported our parenting. I have a neighbour constantly critiquing things she did not do with her children 30 odd years ago or advising us what she thinks we should do when we didn't ask for advice. I've started to avoid this person but cannot go into my own garden without them watching. It's not just me they do it to, they do it with many people but it's horrible to live like it. I would find it difficult from my PIL but even they are not like this. I cannot have the privacy conversation with them they have MH issues and would make life awful which they did to other neighbours. When my DC is noisy or crying, I cannot help but think of the neighbour who once called the police on another neighbour when they were having a disagreement (not even loudly either!)

@2bazookas I did Google it and it was definitely the HV team.

I think we are good parents, not perfect but who is. We get enough praise for DC and how we get on to think we're doing OK. I'm not going to refuse to engage, I have nothing to hide. I just cannot understand it, that's all.

OP posts:

FortniteBoysMum · 07/08/2020 19:22

If they were concerned it wouldn't be a month and it would be social services not the hv.

Kezzywezzy · 07/08/2020 19:32

HVs are primarily health educators and there to support you and your family. Why don’t you try to speak to her in person explaining that you’re surprised to be getting a visit. Can’t do any harm to put your mind at rest?

itsgettingweird · 07/08/2020 19:36

Would your dc usually see someone yearly for their condition?

Is this delayed due to current nhs hospital situation?

Perhaps paed has referred to triage further consultations t appointments?

It could literally be anything.

But I would just ring up and ask. Say the person who called isn't have details and that you want to be sure why they are coming. Then if it's something you feel on top of that's genuinely no benefit to you someone else who mah need the service can have the appointment.

peajotter · 07/08/2020 19:46

It does sound strange but I wouldn’t worry. It’s a HV not social work. I referred myself for help with DS3 and they were fantastic. I’ve had two friends reported to social work for school aged kids (one by bad neighbours, one by a something the kid said at school). In both cases social work were helpful and understanding and it was all resolved quickly.

You can refuse but I think they might see that as suspicious, especially if it was due to a report from someone. Just engage fully and be open, you’ve not got anything to hide.

MadeForThis · 07/08/2020 19:47

I would phone the health visitor and explain that you are unsure of the reason for the phone call and could they explain.

Once they have the notes they should be able to explain.

Don't worry needlessly x

Coldspringharbour · 07/08/2020 19:55

@Pittapitta

Health visitors are not compulsory just tell them no thank you don’t want a visit.

That’s the best way to get yourself quickly referred to children’s social care. If you’re caring for your children, and it sounds like you are OP, then there is no reason to refuse to cooperate. If it was anything serious they would be taking action now, not waiting a few weeks. I wouldn’t worry about. Be open and transparent.

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