Gardens and footballs

[Verity35]

I don’t understand why a lot of people on mumsnet seem to always think it’s okay and normal for balls to keep coming into your garden and neighbours should just put up with it. Just read another thread where OP was clearly distressed and people were telling her is part of normal life and she should put up with it! When I was younger we would go to the park if wanted to play ball games. My siblings kids also do same now. My kids are very little and not into ball games as of yet but when they will be I’ll be taking them to park and only using our garden for non ball related things like we do now with swing, slide and sand pit. The garden’s where we live are tiny and you cannot kick a ball around without it ending in neighbours gardens.

So my question is if a neighbour is constantly kicking balls into your garden (I don’t mean odd ball every so often, I literally mean constantly) then why shouldn’t you get annoyed? There’s nothing being “grumpy old cow” about this at all. Damaging people’s property and plants which they’ve spent years growing and nourishing is really sad. I really feel for people who take pride in their gardens to be told to just suck it up. Surely we should teach our kids respect of others property. I’ve also in past read comments like “well move to a mansion then!” I’m speechless as there are so many options that the child can still play football WITHOUT being a nuisance to their neighbours. What a crazy world we live in!

I didn’t read the other thread, but I guess it depends on the neighbours and the garden involved.
My neighbours kid often kicks his ball into our drive/front garden. It doesn’t bother me one bit, but he’s a lovely lad and I don’t have any plants that could get crushed there.
I guess if property is being damaged it’s different.

YANBU. I would not be returning any balls. They’ll soon learn to be careful if they’re having to continually pay to replace the balls they lost.

The thing is I find it baffling that people are constantly telling others they should put up with it! Surely if your ball keeps affecting your neighbours you can think of an alternative like going to a park or buying a net thingy. Am I missing something here, surely it’s common sense.

When I used to take my babies to park when they were tiny I was always aware if any rogue balls that might hit them. Imagine sitting in your own garden and having the same fear constantly.

I wouldn't put up with it at all if it damaged my plants - why the fuck would I

I'd be round the parents wanting them replaced

As a child I was never allowed to bother our neighbours by kicking balls. My mother said we can’t afford to pay if you damage their plants or break something. She would take the ball away or send me out to the street. It’s seems now that people have less respect for their neighbours. Maybe they won’t pay for the damage?

Sharp knife - problem sold.

I’m hoping someone will come along to explain to us why they think it’s okay for this type of behaviour. I really want to understand the other side of the argument because I just don’t get it!

Verity I salute you. 🤗
. We have small narrow gardens neighbours kids constantly kicking proper heavy footballs over as quick as I chucked them back they were back over at least 15 times a day.

Covid is. 3 day wait am not touching them. Never a thank you or sorry about that.
I can be sitting outside having a coffee reading a book earphones on am expected to jump up return balls immediately.

We are a 20 second walk from a park.

Also had problems with toys, stones, Food, ice cream, clothes being thrown over. I used to throw the stuff back.

Now wait for a week and chuck everything back in one go at their back door normally about 20 items food also as well got an apology note through the door.
Used to get demanding notes to throw back balls immediately

They don’t seem to want all the junk back but I am happy to return it

If it genuinely were "constantly" then there may be another angle to look at, but mostly, in all the places I've lived (both as a child myself, and as a parent of 3 active dc), I've lived with pleasant neighbours who act like pretty reasonable people, and just throw a ball back over when they find one. It has never been 'constant' (either from us, or received by us), but it's something that happens when you live next door to people.

The whole 'take them to the park' argument has no logic to it. You buy or rent a house with a garden, so you can use your garden. DC can play out in their own garden at an age when they are too young to be of to the park themselves. Parents obviously aren't able to sit with them in the park all their waking hours.
Loads of people (who end up with the odd ball from a neighbour) in their garden don't fill their gardens with breakables.

Yes, there will be posters with inconsiderate neighbours. People will ccome on with examples of a heavy leather caser being kicked about by 14 yr olds, and I feel for you, but that doesn't translate to ordinary families being unreasonable to expect their neighbours to take two seconds to throw a ball back over when it occasionally goes astray.

Yanbu, but where do you draw the line? Footballs wouldn’t bother me too much every now and again.

But children screaming and Squealing in the gardens do it really irritates me, plus I’m not that keen on the noise of the trampolines.

So what are the rules? And who makes them

I would love to know why people think it's ok. My neighbours have actually broken my kitchen window with a football, at which point I made very clear that they should not be booting a leather football about as if they are on a pitch. They agreed. 2 weeks later it was back. I commented and they were like 'he has been told to be careful' I can't stop them playing with a ball in their own garden so what more can I do?

I think it's linked to intelligence, mine just don't seem to have the ability to think.

Back for good. Heavy leather footballs are not suitable for small gardens it’s actually not fair on the kids who need to boot them to make them travel and they land in others gardens. I have 3 boys so I know the frustration. Also I would not expect a neighbours to throw back a ball more than 3 times in a day why should they?

Maybe, if say a ball lands in your garden, if/when you return it, kick it hard off their windows or smash it into their car/flowers/hot tub.

Mine were only allowed to play with balls at the park. I didn’t think the noise from the ball was something to inflict on neighbours not to mention that balls easily go over fences.

Our previous neighbours were forever knocking balls over, it only stopped when we stopped throwing them back.

Totally agree @Londongirl888.
As I said in my post - and was demonstrated by blacktop occasionally people will live by inconsiderate neighbours that don't know where to draw the line. However, that doesn't translate to the OP's perception that nobody should ever be allowed to play with a ball in their back garden.
I also agree I wouldn't expect neighbours to throw back more than 3 balls a day. Indeed, I wouldn't expect them to specifically go out / get up and throw them back. I would expect them to chuck tany they find back over when they pass them in the garden.