Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The ex

6 replies

MoonlightMusings · 06/08/2020 20:49

So me and my children’s Dad split 3 years. He has them Friday night to Sunday night every other weekend. He “might” have them for an extra day if his weekend falls on a bank holiday, he doesn’t have them at all during half terms to help and only has them for a week during school 6 weeks holiday.

He is self employed and pays £40 a week for the children...he earns a lot of money but as a lot of it is paid cash obviously he loses it 🙄

He has not helped at all during the pandemic whilst I worked as a key worker full time and he didn’t work for 8 weeks. He then refused to have the children for 4 weeks as he went into lockdown with his girlfriend and her son.

I’m starting to resent the amount he actually does and I know I should be grateful for the money he does pay etc but the last few months it’s shown just how little he does. Last year he went on holiday abroad with his girlfriend and her son and didn’t take our two and frankly lied to me about it...what are people’s thoughts? AIBU to think he should do more? Even just a school run once in a while? Sometimes I think it’s just not worth the aggro of saying anything but it’s getting harder to bite my tongue.

OP posts:
Leaannb · 06/08/2020 21:03

You are not wrong but you would be wasting your breath

MoonlightMusings · 06/08/2020 21:45

@Leaannb

You are not wrong but you would be wasting your breath
This is exactly what I think so I never end up saying anything. It winds my partner up as he thinks he walks all over me, he dictates when he has the kids and I just agree for an easy life I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️
OP posts:
Shouldhavebeenkat · 06/08/2020 22:14

Been there got the t shirt, my kids bio dad and I split 17 years ago... he’s had them every other weekend until they reached adults and literally not a moment more, in fact the only holiday (3 days) he did have them I paid for As we were moving house and he tried to get out of!

He paid less than £100 a fortnight for 3 the entire time and couldn’t wait for them to be old enough that he didn’t need to!

! Now he sees D.C. 1 and 3 occasionally... not a single day through lockdown though, and never Invites DC2

The flip side, they are amazing Adults and that’s up to my DH and I... and all 3 really do know what he’s like.

You can try for more money, beware though... they don’t see it as supporting their kids, it’s giving YOU money 🙄 ex told me he would get himself sacked if I pursued more money, I figured something was better than nothing! Time...well it’s his loss in the end, kids will realise who put them first.

ZoeTurtle · 06/08/2020 22:16

He's a shit father and he won't change. It's a travesty that so many men get away with abandoning or neglecting their children, but for your own sanity I would try not to think about it.

Your children will appreciate everything you did, and everything he didn't, when they're older.

LittleOwl153 · 06/08/2020 22:40

Maybe just think that Karma will have bitten him on the bum (like so many "low earning" absent parents) when it comes to the self employment grants re covid if he is only declaring a little bit of his income.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 06/08/2020 22:52

Maybe just think that Karma will have bitten him on the bum (like so many "low earning" absent parents) when it comes to the self employment grants re covid if he is only declaring a little bit of his income.

^^
Really hope this has happened and bitten non paying nrps on the bum!

(NB no axe to grind as my exh is employed)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page