I put it you lot, as I just don’t know anymore.
We’ve not long had our third child, a little boy who is just lovely. As with our previous 2, I’m doing the lions share of the childcare and housework, which is fine while I’m on maternity leave.
Tonight however, DH and I have just had a huge falling out. I’ll explain both sides and then you can tell me who is BU.
DH: works full time in a highly stressful job, breadwinner, works Monday to Friday 7-4ish. Going through a particularly bad time at the moment and his mental health is suffering. His argument tonight was that I always bark orders at him, want him to help as soon as he walks through the door and never let him have any free time, always wanting him to do things when he’s so stressed. He says I get free time when the baby naps during the day. He says I have no empathy or understanding.
Me:usually ask DH to feed or hold the baby when he comes in (after 5/10 mins of being home) so I can make dinner. Alternate bath and bedtimes with DH. That’s really the most I ask of him on a week night. I do everything housework related, including all washings and food shopping, as well as sorting school uniforms, haircuts, drs appointments etc. I understand this is a hard time for DH so do everything I can to make his life at home as simple as possible. But equally I feel I don’t get much free time, baby is sleeping horribly at the moment and I’m absolutely exhausted. If I ask DH for help during the week he will absolutely refuse, even for one feed or wake up because he’s working. He does help at the weekend.
Maybe I am unreasonable to expect him to help at night when he’s been at work?