Aibu to ask how to boost confidence?

[fastnfurious]

Posting for traffic! I'm really shy and don't have much self esteem but I really want to feel confident in myself and my life as I go about my day. I feel nervous about how I look and how others perceive me. I see so many confident women and I just want to know what magic it is they have so I can have it too! how have you boosted your confidence and what things/activities should I try? I really want to start making the most of my life

Not really relevant, but my daughter was shy as a child and I always wished I had enrolled her in something like Stagecoach to give her a bit of self confidence. Would you consider something like Amateur Dramatics, or is that too far out of your comfort zone?

Leeds2 Off topic for the OP but with regard to your long term regret about not putting your child in stage school, please don’t regret this. I put my shy child in there for three years and it destroyed whatever remnants of confidence she had. Whenever it came to parts, she was never even allowed to audition. They want the bubbly/cheeky/talented kids, Despite the trotted out line about being a confidence builder, it is the exact opposite!

I took up a martial arts class. I’ll never be really good at it but it has helped with general fitness and poise. I am more confident in my own abilities. The camaraderie is good, I’ve made a couple of friends.

Being outside more helps too. Running & cycling in the fresh air rather than in a gym made a difference and gave a sense of achievement. Parkrun (pre-Covid) was good because any competition is against my own time so no pressure.

There is a Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy about this which is worth a watch. At a previous job, my team and I would all go and do power poses in the ladies' loos before meetings with difficult people. I don't do the poses anymore... I guess they worked!

www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?language=en

Learn Pole dancing and read The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck

OP, the "magic" you perceive in these women probably comes from feeling good in their skin -- and that comes from good health and posture. They stand straight, walk with ease and have a lovely energy and glow.
What sort of exercise do you do now? If you're a bit unfit, you could start with basic yoga or pilates to give you core strength and flexible limbs. Seriously, you will feel the difference after one class. Once you've got good underlying fitness, try some different sports and dance. A bonus will be meeting lots of people you wouldn't have met otherwise.
And please, if you were "crap" at school sport, don't let that hold you back. Many of us discover our athletic selves long after we've left behind the (in my case) endless, boring netball games.

I'm at the fake it till you make it stage! I'll often say yes to doing something i know I will dread but I pretend I'm confident, it does get easier!

Agree with a pp above, I've done pole fitness for 2 years and that has helped a lot with my body confidence.