New lodger washed or changed clothes for 10 days

[Zone3]

My new lodger hasn't changed his clothes or washed since he moved in ten days ago. I'm getting very concerned especially because of covid and hygiene.

He is a pleasant person but this is very concerning. I've told him I want to be extra careful with cleanliness because of covid and also shown him how to use the washing machine but he hasn't taken the hint.

How can I approach this sensitively as I have given him a three month contract and we have to live together- I don't want to throw him out as serving notice with him would be very awkward. I'd rather try and resolve things sensitively with a positive outcome. Any suggestions welcome.

What a very strange time to take in a lodger.

@Thisismytimetoshine not that strange really, people are still living their lives albeit with adjustments of course.

I think I'll have to bite the bullet and have a conversation with him but I mean if a man in his forties needs to be told to have a shower and change his clothes I think there must be underlying issues.

Any chance he has lots and lots of the same t-shirt? Mark Zuckerberg does that.

Sounds like something else is happening. Have a chat and see if everything is ok.

Does he work OP?

Yabu. How long do you think covid remains viable outside. I doubt it lasts on clothes more than 24h so whether it's been 3 days or 10 days since he washed is totally irrelevant. Not everything has to link back to covid.

My partner is nearly fifty and has to be forced to wash and wear clean clothes.

(There's reasons I didn't get rid of him once it became apparent he was like this.)

I wouldn't put up with that from someone I could throw out easily. But I do wonder if he has soap, and laundry detergent, or even spare clothes. What's his background.

What @Moomum123 said

Time to get the febreeze and have a chat OP. That's just grim.

@Thisismytimetoshine Strange as it may seem, people need homes all the time, whether there's a pandemic or not.

[quote Zone3]@Thisismytimetoshine not that strange really, people are still living their lives albeit with adjustments of course.

I think I'll have to bite the bullet and have a conversation with him but I mean if a man in his forties needs to be told to have a shower and change his clothes I think there must be underlying issues.[/quote]
Sometimes the issue is that the person is just a lazy arse minger. There's not always some big explanation.

How disgusting. I'd give him his notice you'll be like his parent otherwise.

Having had lodgers myself (so I know that it's a whole different level of intrusion from renting a self-contained property to tenants - a lodger shares your home) I'd ask him to leave.

Unless the law has changed dramatically since I last had lodgers, I don't think the three month agreement is legally enforceable. But I see someone on p1 has posted up-to-date guidance, so I'd have a look at this.

You are under no moral obligation to put up with his lack of hygiene in your own house, nor under any obligation to be nice to him. You owe him nothing, barring a reasonable enough period of notice for a normal person to arrange alternative accommodation (NB a normal person, not what your lodger decides is a reasonable timescale).

Can’t for the life of me understand having a lodger.

Having a minging one? He would be out the door tomorrow if it was me.

Nothing to do with coronavirus, I just could not bear that in my house, and from a stranger.

@Zone3

He's in his forties.

Ew

Do you regularly have lodgers and is this something you have experience in doing, or is this some stinky rando you've felt sorry for? I'm seeing more and more posts like this - "Someone gave me a sob story and now they live on my sofa/the police have been called/my house smells of vodka/they run a meth lab."

There are a lot of good scripts online for managers who need to speak to an employee who smells oor doesnt wash. I would treat this the same; have a read through some of the scripts. Be to the point, dont drag it out, keep the language clear and not derogatory. And instead of not being able to continue working in the team, you would obvisouly say not being able to continue living there.

If he hasn’t changed his clothing in ten days, and he’s in his forties, then he’s not going change his way of life now, unless there’s good reasons. Ie. Clothes are all at his old house.

Sorry, I don’t think,he’s the lodger for you.

To use a cliche, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

OP, I wouldn’t even have a conversation, it’s not your job to tell him to wash. Have a conversation and ask him to leave. Of course covid is relevant. If he’s this way about personal hygiene, he’s not going to be someone washing their hands regularly is he?

OP How sensitive of you to want to solve this with discretion. If he hasn't washed for 10 days though, he must stink like a drain. If he works, you can bet someone at work has had to tell him he smells. It can be a sign of depression when people don't wash, but he will be developing a fungal rash all over the creases of his skin, sorry to be graphic but this is not healthy for you of your home either. Can you ask a more direct friend to come to the house and tell him?

At 40, I don’t think you have the faintest chance to change him. Give him notice and get him before he fully settles.

We women are trained to be compassionate, understanding and do our best to help. Sometimes the best way to help is saying “good bye” don’t make a project of him, just let him go.

P.S Is this why Australians used to use the phrase ". .as dry as a Pommie's towel?"

Rule out poverty.
It if it's just a case of him being a putrid bastard, then get him to sling his hook.

"You've been here ten days, and I've noticed that having you haven't showered or washed your clothes in that time. I'm very particular about hygiene, and I don't want your room to smell, so could you remedy that, please? I really don't want to have to ask you to leave."

*take that "having" out- autocorrect strikes again.