Why is Mummy/Daddy considered posh? + Other cultural differences

[NwaNaija]

I'll break this down into 2 posts so the OP isn't too long.

1. Personally, I've noticed many times on here that people see the use of 'Mummy/Daddy' as posh. It's made me laugh because growing up, Mummy/Daddy is the general way of addressing parents in Nigeria (where I was born and raised), regardless of economic status. The pronounciation can be different though (MU-mee, mu-MEE, Mummy).

It isn't really used when speaking about your parents unless you're a child. In that case, 'mother/father' would be used.

Other terms used are Mama/Papa or Baba and other different ones from the many ethnic groups we have. Saying 'Mum/Dad' sounds quite formal and a bit strange, although it's become a bit more common (see next post) nowadays.

I'm not sure how saying mummy/daddy started though, perhaps we got it from the 'posh' colonisers? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Why is it considered posh in the UK?

Question: What are some of the words, phrases or terms used in your country/culture that you've seen used differently in other cultures?

Pelleas
Mama and Papa are the poshest forms of address.

I would say Mater and Pater are the ultimate poshest forms of address but fortunately neither are used these days,

Over here in Northern Ireland 'mummy' and 'daddy' are completely normal and most definitely NOT posh.

'Mum' and 'dad' would be the more ...well to do types. 'Ma' and 'da' is also very normally here too.

Oh and I'm not posh in the slightest! And in my thirties. But they are still my mummy and daddy.

Some adults i know who call their parents Mummy and Daddy were brought up in upper middle class homes, had trust funds or regular access to their parents money.
They were pretty independent from their parents in all other ways though as had either been to boarding schools or nannies had brought them up.

The adults from working class backgrounds that i've heard use these terms, it's always been females!
Accompanied by exaggerated 'helplessness' and infantilisation and an air of desperately wanting to appear 'posher' than they were.

I don't know why but i get the ick when i hear adults using these terms.....

'Mummy/Daddy' are not 'posh'; it's quite normal for children to call their parents those names when they are still quite small. Some go on with it longer than others.

Who told you it was posh?

I also call my aunty and uncle by their first names. Just seemed a bit twee at the end.

I do too, I haven’t called them Auntie X/Uncle Y for years. I don’t want to be ‘Auntie Half’ either, I’m more than happy just being called by my first name.

It just seems very different to using Mum/Dad/Grandma/Grandad but I can’t put my finger on why!

My dad is one of five, their ages range between 50-65, and they all still call their parents mummy and daddy.

I find it really, really weird.

They are all quite posh though

@banivani

YABU posting this in AIBU when you don't have an U question. It would have been better in Chat. But the topic is interesting so in that respect YANBU to post it.

I am English-speaking myself (Irish descent) but was born and live in Scandinavia. I was in my 30s when I realised there was some sort of difference in Mum/Mummy, Dad/Daddy, as in the latter is considered childish and you "grow out of it". The wake up was watching Buffy when she finds her mother on the sofa and says "Mom? Mom?" and then with trembling lip "Mommy?" I'm still very uncertain about how to use this.

I use proper the same way as you OP. Not local (it's just local).

Irish people famously use "bold" to mean badly-behaved or possibly rascally, rogueish about an adult.

Just that quote from The Body brought tears to my eyes. It’s so true it’s a regression thing - I think people do it when they’re being tortured in films don’t they?

I think it is posh in England, possibly slightly generational ( not sure whether today's young adults would refer to their parents as Mummy and Daddy,) but I have heard not particularly posh Irish folk using that terminology ( although people in their 40's & 50's, so not youngsters).

I think it's just in the UK it's considered posh. My dad is from Southern Ireland and everyone says Mammy and Daddy there, not posh just what everyone says.

I get my 4 year old to call me Maman. I'm not French and I can barely speak it either.

The poshest people I know call their mums "Mumma", which turns my stomach.

@jessstan2

'Mummy/Daddy' are not 'posh'; it's quite normal for children to call their parents those names when they are still quite small. Some go on with it longer than others.

Who told you it was posh?

Only ever seen it said on MN. On this thread too, you can see some find it posh - for older children and adults, not necessarily young kids.

Interesting post.

I’m 50 odd and used to call my parents mummy and daddy or ma and pa. They died a while ago. Mum and dad was considered down market (my maternal grandmother was a raging snob). We also said granny and grandpa. We were not posh by any stretch of the imagination but granny married well and was acutely aware of things like this. I think we were old fashioned in some respects. A friend refers to my family as being straight out of the 1950s. She’s probably right.

It’s very dependent on region. Definitely not posh in Northern Ireland for example.

@GoshHashana

The poshest people I know call their mums "Mumma", which turns my stomach.

My youngest started calling me Mama first - it was completely not my idea, she'd been around DD1 who called me Mummy and Mama wasn't a thing in the late 90s, anyhow.

It was her first word and was clearly meant for me, so I went with it; partly because I was so pleased it was me and not the bloody TAT (cat) that DD1 chose to honour first.

By the time the little ratbag reached 13 and could come up behind me and rest her sodding chin on the top of my head, it changed to 'Aww, my little Mummah'.

We're really not posh.

I’m of Nigerian parentage (born here) and mummy and daddy is expected throughout my entire clan, no mum and dad as it’s too informal. I do remember my sons godmother ( white lady from Oxford, loved horses who I considered posh, lol) about 20 years ago saying ooooh aren’t you posh saying daddy, I said is it? and was looking at her like she was bonkers. It’s just what I was raised with and all I know.

My sons call mum, although my youngest calls me mummy sometimes but I don’t mind either way.

My Ghanaian parentage but born here friend who’s children are the same ages as mine call her mummy, if they dare call her “mum” they get the look.

[quote formerbabe]@FishOnPillows

Not children, but adults who still call their parents mummy/daddy is considered posh in the UK.[/quote]
I agree

@NwaNaija

'my little mummy' is just so cute.

They call me it because they are both taller than me now and think its funny

@FishOnPillows

Do you mean children calling their parents “mummy/daddy” is posh? If so, I had no idea it was posh. I thought it was just normal. Then around the teenage years they tend to change to mum/dad.

I think it's considered posh when it continues into adulthood.

Im Irish and we say Ma and Da (ma-ahh da-ahh) or Mam and Dad. Sometimes I call my father Poppy...My oldest girls call me Mam but for some reason my youngest always called me Mommy..Don't think the term Mummy is used much in Ireland but I have heard it being referenced to being posh

Anyone who uses the word "supper" is definitely posh.

Nobody calls their parents mummy and daddy after about year 4.
Except, my Irish/Scottish relatives who all say daddy and mammy (the Irish ones that is).

My DDs (11 and 8) call DH and me 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' still. But I've noticed that when talking about us to friends they refer to us as 'Mum' and 'Dad'. There clearly is still peer pressure in schools to make that change. It was like that when I was a child as well.

The idea of an adult calling their parents 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' does come across to me as posh, sorry.