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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I be bothered?

9 replies

Ginbunny1212 · 06/08/2020 09:24

Been chatting to my ex via text. We often chat, updating each other on life. See each other monthly. We are friends, but avoid talking about dating. Last time we talked he said he wasn’t interested as he has life stuff going on and it was lockdown. We are both on bumble. We both matched with each other the other week and laughed about it.

We were flirty over text, but my ex was saying stress and life events recently has distorted his sex drive and he needed to sort it out. We have hooked up before a few times after we split , and it’s fine.

Last night talking about lack of love life and I mentioned I was seeing someone causally a few months ago, but he was a controlling and something seemed odd, so ended it. My ex commented I hadn’t mentioned him and was complaining over lack of hugs and human touch in the last few months. He was Confused why I didn’t mention it.

I didn’t mention it as I wasn’t too into the guy and had my guard up. I then got lots of questions about the guy, why it didn’t work, what was he like etc.

So does my ex not believe me? Or jealous? Or just curious? He has never acted like this before.

OP posts:
AdoptAdaptImprove · 06/08/2020 09:29

He’s your ex. You have had sex with him since you split up. You didn’t mention a new relationship. He seemed put out that you hadn’t.

Neither of you has moved on from your relationship, and you haven’t successfully made the transition to friends, or these awkward conversations and weirdnesses wouldn’t be happening.

Tell him you need to move on with your life, then block his number and concentrate on looking forward and not back, or you’ll be stuck in this cycle.

Unless, of course, you both want to be together again now, In which case use your words and talk about it.

UnfinishedSymphon · 06/08/2020 09:29

How old are you OP?

Ginbunny1212 · 06/08/2020 09:51

I am 40. The last time we had sex was in March Before lockdown. Seen each other socially distanced since. We broke up last year.

OP posts:
Boom45 · 06/08/2020 09:56

He likes to know you're an option and is now worried that you might become not an option without him knowing. Doesnt mean he wants to get back together just likes knowing he could if he wanted to - that's good for his ego.

Tooshytoshine · 06/08/2020 09:59

I think the fact you are asking this means you want him to want you and to be jealous... No judgement for this, but maybe be honest with yourself as this is a weird break up limbo. FWB is not really moving on...

UnfinishedSymphon · 06/08/2020 10:01

Oh wow, I thought you were going to say late teens or early 20s! Seriously, it all sounds a bit juvenile, either get back together or don't because it sounds like you want more than just friends

chickenninja · 06/08/2020 10:20

Yep, either get back together and make a go of it if you both want to, or completely cut all ties. One of you is going to get hurt.

honeygirlz · 06/08/2020 10:25

He sounds like a game player. Flirting but doesn’t want to date you? Grilling you about your love life? Go low contact and focus on finding someone who doesn’t play games.

Pinkdelight3 · 06/08/2020 10:46

I'd stop chatting to my ex and make him a proper ex. It doesn't sound good for anyone's head.

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