AIBU to ask you some questions about the USA?

[BreakfastInAmerica]

I've been reading lots of US fiction over lockdown, I've never been there.

What's the big deal with joining a fraternity house at College? What is the benefit of it? Why the Greek frat house names?

Is public access television still a thing?

Why do they call savoury muffins English Muffins when I'm more likely to see a blueberry or chocolate muffin when I'm out and about?

How do Americans eat things like thick pancakes with cream for breakfast, even the people who are slim?

What are grits?

Why are Automatic cars so prolific in the US, rather than manual/stick shift?

I'm sure I've got lots more questions and please pitch in with your own questions and answers.

AIBU to ask for your answers and questions about the small differences between the US and the UK?

What ,s the culture like in the US for alcohol ,is there much underage drinking ? My one and only visit to America was to Boston in the late 90,s and everywhere we went we were asked for ID I was about 24 at the time ,having said that things have changed a lot in the UK regarding ID with the think 25 thing ,and whereas when I was growing up in the 80,s and 90,s it wasn't that difficult to get served in a pub underage it's much more difficult now I think .

there's no concept of a two week family vacation

I kind of disagree with this. Most of my friends went on two-week vacations as well with their family, although it wasn’t necessarily every year (for us it was though) and we were all poor rural folk too.

But never flying anywhere, just places that you could drive to in a day or two. Flying was for rich people or retirees!

What ,s the culture like in the US for alcohol ,is there much underage drinking

Traditionally loads of underage drinking. But once you graduated college and held a real job, it’s seen as a bit much to binge drink. Not so long ago, you’d be seen as an alcoholic if you got drunk in public after a certain age (although might be changing nowadays). I was really shocked by the drinking culture in the U.K.!!

So in my experience the culture of underage drinking is just as prevalent in the US, it just isn't dealt with as an actual problem. Certainly underage drinking happens, particularly as young people are halfway through uni by the time they get their first legal drink!

It was always present as house parties, beach gatherings, etc. but you wouldn't get served at a pub or be able to purchase it (unless you had a good fake ID) because the official channels for purchase generally tended to be well-policed.

my experience of friends and family is much less travel which seemed odd to me at firstborn, but I also really like it in a way. People seem so proud of where they're from and feel connected to their own area and make a big deal of local events and public holidays, so you really feel part of something even though you're not travelling all the time. Everything feels so much bigger and like you're part of more, even the sky. There is so much more to do in each state and so much beauty. I love visiting national trust and English heritage all over the country, but in the US you would get a country worth of places in just one state. Stunning.

Damn. Want to go back.

First not firstborn

Bit of an odd one is it culturally normal for baby boys to be circumcised ,? I remember it being referred to in both Friends and Sex and the city as though it was typicsl ,yeah I know they are both fictional and quite dated ,but it also came up in a discussion in a Facebook autism group.im in its an American group ,I can't remember the details but people were talking about it as though it was common practice, only certain cultures do this in the UK ,it's not something that's done generally

Not so long ago, you’d be seen as an alcoholic if you got drunk in public after a certain age (although might be changing nowadays).

I think this is still true, especially where I live in the Southern US. In fact, It is generally considered bad manners to get drunk even in private. Merry or a bit tipsy, that's ok, actually drunk, not ok.

When ds was born 20 off years ago, circumcision was very much the norm and was offered routinely to baby boys (one of my friends said "I wouldn't know what to do with an uncircumcised one") but I think that has pretty much changed now

I agree with Seneca on the drinking thing.

Underage drinking - the age for drinking here is 21, not 18. You can imagine what it's like when I take undergraduates to Greece for study abroad!

Going back to education and the high school Diploma is it a national standard pupils have to reach to gain them ,with GCSE,s and Alevels etc they are public exams and marked externally ( well normally ,not this year due to COVID!)Is it similar in America?

I come from a heavy drinking part of the US, worked in bars for many years, and even I was shocked by drinking culture when I moved to London.

@x2boys It’s more about the coursework you’ve done throughout. In the UK, our whole high school education is essentially geared up to taking those 9/10 exams, and if you fail you fail. The US system takes the grade point average over time but essentially you just have to pass your classes over the years to get your diploma. Colleges will take your GPA as well as SAT/ACT into account for admissions though.

When I moved here, I was really surprised that things like football, cheer, yearbook etc are actual subjects that came with a grade. In the UK (certainly when I was at school!) those would have been considered extra curriculars that you just volunteer for out of interest.

The school sports thing is bizarre too. Admittedly, we’re in Tx where people are mad about school sports but they have HUGE stadiums where the kids play on Friday nights and so many people go. In the UK, you might get a few of the playing kids’ family members standing on the sidelines watching a football/rugby game but that’s it! These folks still go even when they don’t have or know a kid in the game!

@tendence Annual leave is one of the main reasons we’re considering a move back. We just don’t feel like we have any work/life balance. I haven’t had a proper two week holiday in years. I work really hard and I’m starting to resent it! My employer offers 13 days plus about 8 public holidays, but like you’ve said that’s not really enough to travel and have a proper holiday. My UK employer offered 35 days plus public holidays and I got 6 months full pay mat leave. There’s no maternity rights here except short term disability insurance which is about 6 weeks. Most of my friends are still having babies and can only take the 6 weeks off, up to 8 if they have vacation days left. I feel so bad for them, most (especially private sector) employers aren’t very flexible here—they don’t care about your life outside work.

Leave really makes coming home for a visit difficult. We tend to take 5 day breaks to go somewhere (taking Friday, Monday, Tuesday off, for example) but it’s not enough time to recharge. Even American DH agrees!

Each state sets its own standards for high school educational qualifications, and there is also quite a bit of leeway for local variation, depending on the state.

@dreamingbohemian My parents were in a different part of the US on holiday and we went to meet them. I fell right back into British drinking norms and the bar staff all thought we had a problem! My DH tried to keep up with my Dad. Went badly...

[quote IncorrigibleTitmouse]@tendence Annual leave is one of the main reasons we’re considering a move back. We just don’t feel like we have any work/life balance. I haven’t had a proper two week holiday in years. I work really hard and I’m starting to resent it! My employer offers 13 days plus about 8 public holidays, but like you’ve said that’s not really enough to travel and have a proper holiday. My UK employer offered 35 days plus public holidays and I got 6 months full pay mat leave. There’s no maternity rights here except short term disability insurance which is about 6 weeks. Most of my friends are still having babies and can only take the 6 weeks off, up to 8 if they have vacation days left. I feel so bad for them, most (especially private sector) employers aren’t very flexible here—they don’t care about your life outside work.

Leave really makes coming home for a visit difficult. We tend to take 5 day breaks to go somewhere (taking Friday, Monday, Tuesday off, for example) but it’s not enough time to recharge. Even American DH agrees![/quote]
Your working for a shit company. Annual leave is negotiable, time to shift jobs.

Omg Incorrigible I can imagine!

I was considered a heavy drinker when I left the US, in London I was totally average.

@choli I’m a specialist working in the public sector—not much room for negotiation unfortunately!

Yeah annual leave may be negotiable for high-flying corporates but not for most people.

@dreamingbohemian Sad but true! I don’t know anyone that’s managed to negotiate more than 15 days. I do miss British pub culture, especially having a ‘local’ and doing the pub quiz!

Bit of an odd one is it culturally normal for baby boys to be circumcised

It’s still more common than not. I think with Hispanic immigration, the percentage is going down, but it’s still more or less routine.

Didn’t even know that uncut was possible and was horrified when I saw one for the first time abroad 😅

When I moved here, I was really surprised that things like football, cheer, yearbook etc are actual subjects that came with a grade. In the UK (certainly when I was at school!) those would have been considered extra curriculars that you just volunteer for out of interest.

Wow - these don't get you a grade in our high school!

@dreamingbohemian

Yeah annual leave may be negotiable for high-flying corporates but not for most people.

DH's company offers 20 days as standard to all employees and most of them are low-paid hotel workers.

DH gets 25 days. I got 28 in my last job and would soon have gone up to 33, and I got 25 in my previous two jobs. I wasn't a corporate high flyer at all, whereas he is a company president.

DH brother works for a great company and gets 28 days. The issue there is they just don't take them. The work ethic is very different.

Both men and women get 6 weeks maternity/paternity leave. Women who breastfeed have special pumping rooms in the office.

Incorrigible I know a lot of American bars try to replicate pub culture but it doesn't totally work does it.

Hold I'm not saying only high level people get more than 2 weeks, I'm saying that negotiating for more days than company policy is not something your average worker can do.