AIBU to ask you some questions about the USA?

[BreakfastInAmerica]

I've been reading lots of US fiction over lockdown, I've never been there.

What's the big deal with joining a fraternity house at College? What is the benefit of it? Why the Greek frat house names?

Is public access television still a thing?

Why do they call savoury muffins English Muffins when I'm more likely to see a blueberry or chocolate muffin when I'm out and about?

How do Americans eat things like thick pancakes with cream for breakfast, even the people who are slim?

What are grits?

Why are Automatic cars so prolific in the US, rather than manual/stick shift?

I'm sure I've got lots more questions and please pitch in with your own questions and answers.

AIBU to ask for your answers and questions about the small differences between the US and the UK?

MissConduct - I noticed your daughter was off to a seven sisters college (and just heard it's all remote learning to start with ). I spent a year at Mount Holyoke a looong time ago - such a brilliant institution and for me, fascinating to be at an all-female place as the rest of my education had been co-Ed. Wishing her luck whichever of the seven she goes to.

@Itstheprinciple

This is a really weird question but do you have lovely cheese in the US? Like we have a lot of varied regional cheeses, but my only (limited) experience with American cheese is the very processed orange stuff!

There is great cheese in Boston, both in supermarkets and in specialist shops (the Public Market in Boston has a brilliant cheese stall). This was a surprise to me, since my previous experience on holiday in the US over the years was that cheese was orange and bland, but that was as mostly in the four corners states. When I moved to Boston I expected to have to do my cheese shopping in the Italian market. Bread is a different matter, it’s either unpleasantly sweet or super-crusty sourdough in supermarkets. The best bread is from Italian bakeries.

I have to agree with the PP that Boston is a great place to live. One thing I really noticed was how polite and considerate everyone is. Using public transport is so pleasant, even at night. The streets and underground trains at night don’t have that feeling of low level aggression that happens here. The other things that strikes you is the smell of weed, which is everywhere and the number of homeless people, although it is nothing like San Francisco in that respect.

This is one thing I wonder about… Given the very limited leave allowance in most US companies (1-2 weeks I have been told, and have also heard that sometimes it’s not the done thing to take it all?), how do people think about ‘year planning’? In my mind, the autumn is a looong stretch to lovely Christmas, so I tend to take a few days off work sometime in October, and then there is time off for Christmas, whether taking extra leave days or not. Then it’s January until Easter for more days off work, and in my circle of friends many people take a few days off sometime Jan-March too, sometimes all of the half-time week.

After Easter there are two lovely Bank Holidays in May making two long weekends, and then soooon it’s summer and planning for summer holidays that will be a few weeks. But since people only have 5-10 days of leave over a year, and not many public holidays – does the ‘changes’ of the year not feel that different, everything just feeling the same all the time..? I guess I just wonder what it would feel like to not have that many things to ‘plan the year based on’, just work all the time, and not have ‘natural breaks’ when things change – perhaps a bit a bit like this year has felt for me March-June since we weren’t allowed to do anything – day in day out exactly the same…

The second question I guess would be how people cope with so little time off. Are there at least discussions about the merits of giving employees more time off?

@tendence

This is one thing I wonder about… Given the very limited leave allowance in most US companies (1-2 weeks I have been told, and have also heard that sometimes it’s not the done thing to take it all?), how do people think about ‘year planning’? In my mind, the autumn is a looong stretch to lovely Christmas, so I tend to take a few days off work sometime in October, and then there is time off for Christmas, whether taking extra leave days or not. Then it’s January until Easter for more days off work, and in my circle of friends many people take a few days off sometime Jan-March too, sometimes all of the half-time week.

After Easter there are two lovely Bank Holidays in May making two long weekends, and then soooon it’s summer and planning for summer holidays that will be a few weeks. But since people only have 5-10 days of leave over a year, and not many public holidays – does the ‘changes’ of the year not feel that different, everything just feeling the same all the time..? I guess I just wonder what it would feel like to not have that many things to ‘plan the year based on’, just work all the time, and not have ‘natural breaks’ when things change – perhaps a bit a bit like this year has felt for me March-June since we weren’t allowed to do anything – day in day out exactly the same…

The second question I guess would be how people cope with so little time off. Are there at least discussions about the merits of giving employees more time off?

I think leave allowance is becoming more generous. Certainly with my husband's company it's more on a par with U.K. holidays. Even when it's a public holiday lots of Mon-Fri 9-5 businesses still work. My children have even been to school on Good Friday.

I find the year in the US to actually be more structured than our U.K. year as they make so much more of events. The children go back to school in August, September is homecoming, October is Hallowe'en, November is Thanksgiving and December is Christmas. There is a bit of a lull in January although there is Martin Luther King Day. February is all about Valentine's Day which is celebrated in a big way with lots of activities at school. March and April is Spring break and Easter and then schools break for summer at the end of May. The summer is taken up with lots out outdoor music events, swimming and camps and before you know it that's a year gone!

Just placemarking to read in full tonight! I've always been fascinated by the US. Maybe because it's so prevalent in mainstream culture via TV etc. Mountains ranges there are on my bucket list for skiing and summer hiking.
Not keen on gun and full on work culture.
Would love to live there for a bit to experience it but I dont have any particular skills or connections to bring me there - seems so vast - and not sure about bringing kids up there.

The second question I guess would be how people cope with so little time off. Are there at least discussions about the merits of giving employees more time off?

It’s generally two weeks in addition to public holidays. It seemed enough for my parents when I was a kid, but now I’m used to the generous holidays overseas and think it would be difficult to get used to!

That said, I think big companies have more generous annual leave policies that are edging closer to U.K. standards; it’s small businesses with fewer employees that are stingy with holidays, for obvious reasons.

And non-union blue-collar jobs and low-skill service jobs also have a lack of days off. Honestly would be easier for them if they needed time off to quit and find a similar job later (in a normal economy anyway)

Many companies offer more vacation time with seniority; it helps retain people. I have nearly four weeks a year and a few extra floating holidays (these are in addition to the national holidays). My husband's employer was also quite generous (he's retired now). And we were/are both in jobs where we were encouraged to take vacation time.

As a Brit from memory when assigned to work for months previously in California I understand USA (all or most states) has 6 paid holidays for New Year, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labour Day, Thanksgiving and just Christmas Day no UK style Boxing Day nor UK de facto second half Christmas Eve customarily office slopping off!

However most USA businesses also give you the day after Thanksgiving off so 7 days in total, and yes 2 weeks is the standard holiday entitlement so 19 paid days off? Some employers also offer 5-10 days a year 'sick pay' which you can just take as leave by policy so I get 24-29 days off paid effectively. I think? Do correct if incorrect!

There are 4 other 'federal' holidays, Columbus Day, Murther Luther King Day, Washington's Birthday and Veterans Day but most private businesses don't observe these as I understand it?

In the UK a full time employee is entitled to usually 28 days paid leave in addition to 8 annual public bank holidays being New Year Holiday, Good Friday, Easter Monday, May Day, Late May Bank Holiday, August Bank Holiday, Christmas Day and Boxing Day!

So in answer to your question, the UK has a couple more 'public' holidays that are generally observed but the main difference by far comes in the standard holiday entitlement.

In addition there tends (from my experience) to be more UK colleagues who claim further “soft” sickness or carer dependent days for children etc which if “conveniently bolted on to extended public bank holiday weekends tend to be dubiously common!

Also in the UK with seniority and length of employee service (usually every five to ten years) with same company comes extra bonus paid and non paid extended sabbaticals leave options etc. And obviously work leave for parenting for birth including maternity leave for up to a calendar year and two weeks or now shared paternity leave for at least two calendar weeks.

In many larger USA cities (apart from NYC and Chicago amongst others) the daily driven commute is long both time and distance travelled! In LA it was at times bumper to bumper motorway traffic and really hot!

I'm in an academic union, (not teaching faculty) which means that I have a total of about 6 weeks vacation a year. That's counting paid holidays, such as Christmas and the 4th of July and regular vacation time. Sick leave is also very generous and, in the event that someone runs through it, the campus will send a message out asking employees if anyone could donate their leave time to them. By U,S standards I am extraordinarily lucky. However, a huge percentage of American workers get virtually no vacation time (1 week a year starting out isn't unknown). My brother, for much of his working life, made more than twice my income working for small tech firms. But I never envied him because his vacation time and sick leave were pathetic.

I know this is rather a dull topic, but would any US residents care to comment on the income tax in their state? Is it true some states have zero income tax? I am a relatively high earner but pay a marginal (overall) rate of around 30% which is a big cut. How would that compare with the US?

@Youngatheart00
The tax situation in the US is complicated. Everyone is subject to federal income tax, many states have state income tax, but some do not. Florida and Texas have no state income tax for instance. State income tax varies significantly state to state. There are the tax rates, but then there are lots of ways to reduce your taxable income. You can contribute to a retirement fund with pre-tax income for example, and so on. There are also capital gains tax for when you make money off of investments, which is a different tax rate altogether.

Then, there is sales and use tax, which is set by the municipality. The state sets the base tax rate and cities and counties can add extra on top of that. Some states have no sales tax.

Then there is property tax. Generally, the lower income tax states tend to have higher property taxes. Some states get hit on both fronts (California, NY, etc.). Again, the base property tax is set by the state and then things can be added on top of that by any number of different agencies, like cities, counties, transit authorities, etc. Different states have different rules about how the proper value is assessed and how often for what the tax is based on. Schools are primarily funded out of property tax, which deepens inequalities as wealthier areas have more expensive houses with a high tax basis and thus better funded schools.

Then there is the fun fact that Americans are taxed in their global income, regardless of their residency or source of income. There are reciprocal tax agreements in place, but it can get a bit complicated.

It’s so strange to read perceptions of the US that are quite different from my own experience of living there. It’s such a large country with so much variety in the way that people live.

@Gotakeahike urgh global earnings. DD was born in the states and whilst she's still a student at the moment she's in an area that could one day earn quite well. We need to extricate her from
her potentially burdensome citizenship!

@TheoneandObi
You can relinquish your US citizenship, but there is a fee and exit tax and I believe it is irrevocable. Exit tax probably won’t be an issue at this point for your dd as I would assume her assets and income would be under the threshold at this point.

The U.K. has a reciprocal tax agreement with the US. If you’re abroad, you only need to pay federal tax (assuming all income comes from outside the US) so the effective tax rate will likely be lower that what would be paid in the U.K. Your dd would have to file a tax return, but likely wouldn’t have to pay any US tax. It really only seems to make sense to renounce for tax purposes if you’re ultra high net worth. Otherwise, it’s just to avoid the annoyance of having to file. If you’re going to renounce though, do it before she make loads of money so she doesn’t have a big exit tax bill though

@Toilenstripes

Fraternities for men, sororities for women. I’m not sure of the origins but they have evolved to be social mechanisms. Join and make friends while you’re at University, then you have networking possibilities for the rest of your career.

PBS, the Public Broadcasting Service, is huge in America and back in the day was the only way Americans could watch Poirot, Absolutely Fabulous, and many other British made television series. Sunday nights were murder mystery nights on my local PBS station. Loved it!

American English muffin is called a crumpet in England. I don’t consider it savoury though. Americans put butter and jam on them.

Americans don’t eat pancakes with cream. They usually only have butter and syrup. 😆 Although maybe younger Americans have cream on them.

Grits - made from corn meal, primarily found on menus in the Southeast and Texas. Used to be eaten with loads of butter, salt and a fried egg. I’ve heard that some people like them with cheese.

Automatic cars for long distances and also because so many Americans spend lots of time in their cars.

American English Muffins and Crumpets are very, very different!

Google 'Crumpets'

@IamTomHanks

What's the big deal with joining a fraternity house at College? What is the benefit of it? Why the Greek frat house names?

The benefit is life long connections. They have Greek names because 200 years ago it was super pretentious to have Greek/Latin names. Basically they were trying to be upper class.

Is public access television still a thing?

Yes, you can get PBS and a couple of local channels on public access.

Why do they call savoury muffins English Muffins when I'm more likely to see a blueberry or chocolate muffin when I'm out and about?

It's the North American for crumpet. Not savory muffin.

How do Americans eat things like thick pancakes with cream for breakfast, even the people who are slim?

They don't. I don't know anyone who would eat pancakes every day. It's a once a week (or less) treat. And it would be with butter and maple syrup.

What are grits?

Corn meal mush.

Why are Automatic cars so prolific in the US, rather than manual/stick shift?

Because manual cars are a pain in the ass?

Again, Crumpets and what the US call English Muffins are totally different! Google Crumpets

@Gotakeahike lots of great info there! Thanks!
Yes I understand their exit fee is the priciest in the world. And it's a pain in the ass isn't it to file?
I kind of think the benefit of being able to technically work in the US is a red herring too. DD was born there because my OH was needed for a job there and so could work there. If companies want you they'll hire you and sort the paperwork. And she'll likely be in that category, citizen or not.
It really plays on my mind.
After we returned the IRS chased us fir years. Thankfully DH's company sorted it. But I'm a bit terrified of the thought of the IRS tentacles chasing my daughter!

RE: Vacation, I get 24 days of holiday a year + 3 personal days + sick time on top of that. I'm in non-profit and that's pretty standard. My husband's at a vast trading firm and they get 15 days vacation + paid sick days. Unsure about personal days. I like that here I can roll over my vacation days - in the UK they were use it or lose it.

For mat leave, my job was "protected" for 6 months and I got 3 months on full pay (I used that accrued vacation for one of the months) then 3 months on SMP, which was about $700 a week - but I had to oh my health insurance out of that. I went back to work after 4.5 months and my husband took 2 weeks paternity leave to help ease me back in/do settle in at daycare. I was bored out of my tree on mat leave and couldn't wait to get back to work .

Honestly, I don't struggle having fewer days than in the UK, I feel like the way people take holiday here is very different. It tends to be more in the way of short breaks and not 2 week stretches.

DH has filed his taxes since he was 18 - whether living in the US or UK or elsewhere. He's never had to pay any actual US tax while living abroad. I certainly wouldn't give up citizenship just to avoid it.

The difficulties tend to come more as a result of some foreign banks not wanting to let US citizens open accounts because of the extra regulations and paperwork. Having said that, we've kept all our UK bank accounts despite being Americans, with no problems.

If companies want you they'll hire you and sort the paperwork.

Not really no - it's becoming increasingly difficult and expensive to hire non-citizens. The big companies I work with nowadays tend to just use contractors who are based abroad, and keep them there rather than bringing them to the US.

@SJK34

It’s so strange to read perceptions of the US that are quite different from my own experience of living there. It’s such a large country with so much variety in the way that people live.

I've lived on the west coast, east coast, mid-west city, Appalachia...

I've been here as a student, newlywed, and 50-year-old parent of three...

I've been an intern, freelancer, contractor, SAHP and full time working parent...

I'm still regularly astonished by how different other people's experiences are to mine!

Thank you @allfurcoatnoknickers for sharing some of your own experiences. Very interesting and intriguing as it helps to dispel some of the British viewpoints on Americans not having "enough" (paid) holidays in full time employment. Though I do understand some USA university graduates in first paid junior appointments may get much fewer days off.

Tax, citizenship, residency and work permits etc are pretty complicated in the USA from my experience of friends who are either born there or immigrants under higher skill professional work visas or so called employment based ie US corporate entity sponsored immigrants of professionals holding advanced world eminent university degrees and persons of exceptional ability.

America as we all know is so diverse so vast geographically. Learning from the USA Covid response and strategies I gathered each state is more independent from each other when compared to UK home nations. Here in the UK we all tend to be governed by the overall UK Westminster based government as seemingly only the devolved Scottish national/regional government sets some of its own policies and also has its own legal Scots Law jurisdiction. The Welsh and Northern Irish (moribund I believe) play a much more low key role than each individual USA state (I think!?).

Ironically despite the current political leader and the negative impressions and tensions he seemingly brings - the USA is still a highly attractive place to live and work. Is it still the land of the American dream? What do the Americans think? Especially those with international links and experience to compare. I have currently short listed USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand as possible family Brexshit edit strategy. After decades in London and UK (and many overseas professional postings) we fancy a change of scene with young family and possibly for the mid to longer term as to also lay down some roots in this next life phase while still young and fit enough to cast the net wider for a better live world balance! Britainia is great but the world is your oyster and possibly the grass is a shade greener at pastures new!? So happy to read other people's American stories....

Trash pickup varies by city. I’ve lived in towns where the city picked up. I now live in a town where we are required to have a contract with a private company for pickup or if you want to pay more, you can haul to the facility yourself during the limited open hours and pay by the bag.

Leave allowance depends on your job. I have a generous number of bank holidays plus 4 weeks of vacation, plus special allowances for illness, child Illness, jury duty, family emergency, bereavement, moving, etc. I’ve had that since I was about 2 years into my adult career. I’m also a highly ranked, well-paid, professional. The average American worker does not face such understanding employers.

Thanks for responses to my cheese question. Can you tell I love cheese?!