AIBU to ask you some questions about the USA?

[BreakfastInAmerica]

I've been reading lots of US fiction over lockdown, I've never been there.

What's the big deal with joining a fraternity house at College? What is the benefit of it? Why the Greek frat house names?

Is public access television still a thing?

Why do they call savoury muffins English Muffins when I'm more likely to see a blueberry or chocolate muffin when I'm out and about?

How do Americans eat things like thick pancakes with cream for breakfast, even the people who are slim?

What are grits?

Why are Automatic cars so prolific in the US, rather than manual/stick shift?

I'm sure I've got lots more questions and please pitch in with your own questions and answers.

AIBU to ask for your answers and questions about the small differences between the US and the UK?

Is it generally agreed that USA university life is as much about what is probably best described as tribalism life long membership networking as about the education itself? In other words do these USA university student organisations have more of a distinctive networking advantage than say your regular top British university alumni?

My DD's college has a very active alumni association which is separate from the Greek organizations. You're much more likely to get a job through that, than through knowing someone from Kappa Alpha Psi.

The education itself is also vital, not just the networking.

And also is it generally accepted and agreed by medical scientist that a major USA Covid community transmission vector is the widespread university students partying en masse at the beach non masks drinking excessively and partying for hours as is normal during the university holidays?

No. It seemed to play a fairly small role when it was happening during Spring Break, and it stopped pretty quickly. There was less transmission in states like Florida back then than there is now.

Universities are only just going back now, so we'll see how that affects spread. I can say from talking to other parents on MN that US universities appear to be taking Covid mitigation measures much more seriously than UK universities.

For example, DD's university is in the process of getting ready to administer 1600 Covid tests per day to students. Students will quarantine for 14 days after arriving, then do most of their classes online. Masks are required, and also social distancing. Many universities are not having students move back at all, or are only bringing back a proportion at a time.

I also always wonder why young school children at the end of their schooling have UK style degree graduation ceremonies complete with mortar boards etc?

None of mine have had a graduation ceremony for anything other than finishing high school. I have heard it's starting for younger children here more recently - sounds like that's been happening in the UK too.

@gwenneh

Thank you - you are a star!

One day when America is finally "normal" again, Covid free and socio economic and politically stable I will return and possibly stay for much longer than previous multiple half yearly work related appointments. Such a diverse and fascinating large nation. And don't worry I will drive an automatic gear less electric car to be a little bit more ecological especially as consumerism and ecology is a bit of a contradiction in the USA.

No, US. University life is not about life long tribalism or networking. That is a feature of frats and sororities. Most students don't belong to those. It may help a bit if you are applying for a job and the person doing the interviewing is a fellow alum. Or it might not help at all. I didn't have any friends in the Greek system when I went to school and certainly none of us ever benefited from any sort of college networking in our careers. There are organizations tied to professions such as law, for example that are useful for networking, though.

@HoldMyLobster

Thank you for your reply and answering my curiosity!

And loving your MumsNet name tag - reminds me of Maine lobster (possibly some of the best seafood in the world) and of course the Red Lobster restaurant chain!

Americans need to highlight more of all the good stuff and share with the world! Not Trump nonsense and political tensions etc.

I would say that going to an Ivy League university conveys similar networking and career advantages to Oxbridge in the UK. I used to work for a leading research institute in DC and about 95% of the scholars came from the same 10 universities. Presidents, CEOs, lots of people in the arts, sciences, that Ivy League education is incredibly valuable beyond just the academics.

Also just to counter the 'Americans drive to the mailbox' stereotype, I don't even know how to drive. Lots of people who live in cities don't.

Americans need to highlight more of all the good stuff and share with the world! Not Trump nonsense and political tensions etc.

As a dual national living in the US, I lose sight of the good stuff and it's honestly quite refreshing to hear this.

When we went to DD's accepted students day (the goal of which is to encourage students to accept an offer from that college), I found it really interesting that the first person they had stand up and speak to us was the head of the alumni association.

@dreamingbohemian Agreed -- there's a reason LinkedIn displays how many alumni work at a company when you look at their job listings!

Is there an equivalent of a local authority/council housing estate in the USA? Based on TV shows, because of course they depict real life 😂 people either live in huge, gorgeous houses in a big plot of land despite having non extraordinary jobs. Or they’re completely skint and live in ‘trailer parks’ (are they like static caravan sites?) or some grotty looking flat in a converted house.

Are there no estates of ordinary houses? Is there any social housing?

And loving your MumsNet name tag - reminds me of Maine lobster (possibly some of the best seafood in the world) and of course the Red Lobster restaurant chain!

I adore Maine lobster :-)

@dreamingbohemian

Thanks for the local insight. Thankfully I tick the Cantab alumni box so appreciate all the other comparable world class universities. Though I gathered many top world class universities will not have the financial fire power of say Harvard, Stanford, MIT to perpetuate and attract top talent.

I always wonder whether it is inconceivable and inconvenient without your own car in most of the USA. It's just seems ubiquitous as even some children drive legally there.

Are there no estates of ordinary houses? Is there any social housing?

In my town there are two big estates of what we'd call 'townhouses' which are 2-3 bed terraced houses with some apartments. No one has a garage, everyone parks in front of their house or in communal parking. Many are rentals but some are owned.

Social housing is offered through a mix of Public Housing (PHA) and Section 8 Housing
www.propublica.org/article/what-you-need-to-know-about-how-section-8-really-works
hacityventura.org/FAQ/faq_differencebetweenpublicandsection8.html

Oh another one. This may be based on watching Sweet Magnolias on Netflix 😂

I think it’s more a southern thing but is it common for adults to call adult acquaintances/unknown adults sir/ma’am?

Is it common for children to call adults, such as a friend of their parents, this?

Is it common for children to say ‘yes sir/ma’am’ to their parents? I notice this is usually in reply to being disciplined.

It does sound nice and civilised 😂

But I'd also add that not that many people live in huge gorgeous houses. Generally houses are bigger than in the UK but that's because there's more space. Most of them are not particularly fancy.

For the price of a 1500 square foot semi in the UK, I was able to buy a 3000 square foot detached house with an acre of land and have $50k leftover.

From my Americans extended work placements I only wish there was (amongst other American essentials) a UK equivalent of The Cheesecake Factory and Trader Joes. I know Trader Joes is owned by German discount grocery store Aldi but it's not the same! Aldi UK is just like SoCal Vons etc.

I am sure there are other USA only indulgences I can't currently recall.

I will happily trade all the USA coffee chains for Cheesecake Factory! And Seattle Best is best in my humble opinion.

Are there no estates of ordinary houses? Is there any social housing?

There are definitely both!

At the national level the Department of Housing & Urban Development runs a program colloquially referred to as "Section 8" which could be equated to housing benefit.

There are also subsidised housing blocks and then on a more local level, states also require certain numbers of low-to-moderate income units to be built and maintained. Where I live, if a developer wishes to develop land, there has to be a number of units set aside for low & moderate income families and for assisted living/elder care.

So, for example, the estate over the road from my job, which was completed this year has 92 houses (selling for $400k upwards), 2 blocks of townhomes, a block of flats, and a senior/assisted living community. Some of the townhomes and flats are set aside to sell or rent ONLY to people who are under a certain income, as are some of the units in the senior community.

I'm imagining a world where my children said "yes ma'am" rather than just laughing at me when I tell them off

But my husband uses 'sir' and 'ma'am' to people he doesn't know, especially older folk.

Where I live, if a developer wishes to develop land, there has to be a number of units set aside for low & moderate income families and for assisted living/elder care.

We have that rule too, but they keep 'forgetting' to build the low-income housing. That really pisses me off.

I always wonder whether it is inconceivable and inconvenient without your own car in most of the USA. It's just seems ubiquitous as even some children drive legally there.

In most of it, yes, it's entirely inconceivable. In much of it, inconvenient. I am less than an hour from NYC and the closest public transport is 15 miles away.

I think it’s more a southern thing but is it common for adults to call adult acquaintances/unknown adults sir/ma’am?

This is a southern thing for sure -- my future BIL is Southern and the use of "sir/ma'am" is ubiquitous.

We have that rule too, but they keep 'forgetting' to build the low-income housing. That really pisses me off.

And let's not forget the "housewives" of America have now all been "saved" from this low-income, high-density housing requirement by the current administration.

I think I need a lie down after that level of eye roll.

gwenneh exactly, it's a self-perpetuating career advantage. Very frustrating!

Res it's true even a lot of Americans don't believe I can't drive. I once got cold-called from a woman trying to sell car insurance, I explained I can't even drive and she very rudely told me off because she thought I was winding her up or something.

I'm imagining a world where my children said "yes ma'am" rather than just laughing at me when I tell them off

😂

My dad would have thought I was being sarcastic if I’d said ‘yes sir’ to him

In Sweet Magnolias the chef character (can’t remember anyone’s names, it obviously really engaged me) told her daughter she was/was not doing something in no uncertain terms, and the daughter replied ‘yes ma’am’ without sounding remotely like she was cheeking her - it was definitely a respectful response

@kierenthecommunity

I'm from far west Texas (current live in SE Texas) and it's very much part of our upbringing to be polite and use, "Yes, Sir/ Yes Ma'am" when speaking to our elders and to those we don't know well. And it's expected!