To be a bit hurt that ex DH said he'd "never remember the date of our wedding"

[Unforgettable31]

I was chatting to my ex DH earlier, we've no kids but we talk from time to time.

We got married 9 years ago on the 1st of this month.

Anyway, I said something along the lines of "Hey it was our anniversary on the 1st" and he responded "Lol, oh right, you have a better memory than me, I wouldn't have remembered that in a million years".

I could sort of get it if he was remarried or even if a relationship but he isn't.

I know it probably sounds like I'm being overly sensitive but he was like "The One" for me!

Luckily this was an online chat because I would have been really embarrassed if we'd been face to face!

My parents have been divorced for 16 years and they both remember dates, place etc.

@Goyle Ha Ha Ha!

I thought I would add that I remembered my ex-H because of our son. I had to remember to get our son to call him on his father's birthday and the birthdays of his paternal grandparents and half-sister to contact them. We were only married three years too. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember my birthday when we were married. I'm thinking it's time to lose that information from my mental database!

One thing though, I remember the date of our divorce and it's ingrained in my memory forever!

I never remember our anniversary or how many years we've been together or married. It's now a long running joke.

I'm another who's terrible with dates. Every year we say we'll do something special on our anniversary and every year a card arrives from my mother and we realise we've missed it again.

I know the date of my wedding anniversary but when it comes to it I don't notice abc only remember when my mum drops over a card.

i've got my wedding anniversary tattooed on my wrist to help me remember

I should probably quit talking to him.

Neither DH and I can properly remember our wedding anniversary.

I know the month but never sure of the date, DH usually gets the date correct and month wrong. I even wrote the wrong date on the calendar this year 🙄

It is actually a standing joke between us now! We used to work with someone whose birthday was the date of our anniversary which was helpful as we used to ask him 🤣 then he inconsiderately left...

Neither of us knows our wedding anniversary and we’ve only been (very happily) married for eight years. The snag is that today we both needed it for an official form, and as we’re in the middle of a move, the certificate is somewhere in storage. Still no idea. We’re sure of the year and it’s one of two months...

OP you don’t have to quit talking to him but tell us (if you want) what’s really going on in your head and with this relationship- is this about anniversary, regret, failing to move on? Had he been leading conversation and now gone cold? Are you feeling stuck in past? It’s hard to move on (I remember all ex’s birthdays 20 plus years later!!)

Dh and I always get confused about when our anniversary is (and also how many years) and habe only been married for 5!
Been together 14 years though. We aren’t “card” people either. I think it’s something you’re good at or you’re not.

Ex DH - why do you care?

My husband is much better at remembering birthdays and anniversary’s than I am. I rely on my calendar and that we were married on remembrance day! Actually married on the 11th day of the 11th month 2011! Sadly not at 11am though 😂

I don't even know our wedding date.
I never understood people's fascination with this. Than again, I never got why people genuinely feel the need to be married...
(we got married so we can get a better loan as a family, then decided not to go for that loan, and simply can't be bothered to do the paperwork to cancel it.)
I don't think any relationship is defined by a paper, but obviously many people do.

I forget my own fathers birthday I have a unique blind spot to it infact I can write notes set reminders buy cards in January but 6 months later ive forgot AGAIN

fortunately after 40 years he is used to it

YABU

He's your ex, why would he need to remember?
Why did you even bring it up?

@HarryLimeFoxtrot

My BIL got the date wrong on the engraved gift he got my sister for their 10th wedding anniversary. Right day, right year - wrong month. They’re still married...

Now that’s

YABU. He's your ex husband & you are no longer together with him. That date doesn't hold significance to him anymore. You don't have any kids to tie you & him together.

Had this exact problem with DH, he’s got the memory of a goldfish when it suits him. Simple solution, brought a personalised sign with our wedding date on it and hung it over the tv so no excuse for forgetting our anniversary!

Some people just aren't very good with dates. I suppose in this case there may have been more to it than that though - giving you the message that it doesn't really matter to him?

My DH doesnt remember our children’s birthdays, nevermind anniversaries.

I forgot whether my DH’s birthday was the 16th or the 18th of the month for a few years. I always do something great for it, I just had to double check the date a few times.

My DH also got offended that I never memorised his phone number!

I don’t think forgetting your anniversary means that much but clearly I’m biased.

Neither me or dh are sure what date we got married it was either 8th or 10th but thats as close as we get without checking, we only know the year as ds was born same year

If it's any consolation OP, my OH never remembers our wedding anniversary....and it's on his bloody birthday!
And I'm still married to the old bugger.

Than again, I never got why people genuinely feel the need to be married...
(we got married so we can get a better loan as a family, then decided not to go for that loan, and simply can't be bothered to do the paperwork to cancel it.) I don't think any relationship is defined by a paper, but obviously many people do.

Or they got married for a practical financial reason, just as you did @TheSunIsStillShining?

I don’t understand why YOU would have been embarrassed about HIM forgetting something.

Plus, you know, people are different. Some people find it important to remeber specific dates, some don’t. Since you aren’t even together any more, why on earth would it matter?