I’m fully prepared to be told IABU and that I need to get over it but I’m struggling
I’ve always had a difficult relationship with mil and I let quite a lot of stuff go ‘to keep the peace’
A few years ago we got married and tbh the day was dreadful. Mil looked like she was attending a funeral and crying sad tears, wouldn’t eat her food ( just placed a napkin over the entire uneaten plate) Fil said something massively inappropriate and derogatory about me ( apparently it was a joke) in front of every one and then mil instigated a huge argument between dh and bil. Bil didn’t speak to ether of us before the argument, didn’t say congratulations to dh or anything so when mil went over and started causing trouble he just blew up. The argument was over complete nonsense, something about us being in a ‘clique’ -pathetic. Dh and I had to keep saying to each other ‘ignore them, just focus on us and the kids’
Two days after the wedding dh and I went in to a financial crisis. So it really was hands to the deck to stop ourselves from losing the house ect..
So whilst dh was focusing on that, the shit show of the wedding went largely unaddressed. I went NC with them, bil and mil actually stopped speaking to dh and fil floated around the middle shit stirring. Bil and mil eventually started speaking to dh but when he tried to bring the wedding up they both shouted him down and said he should be the one apologising. So he let it go.
It took us a year to sort out financial situation, I was really depressed during this time. Financial situation was unbearable and was still really upset at their behaviour on my wedding day.
Dh has still carried on seeing them, takes the kids at weekend. I’ve just found out that bil said something shit about me at the wedding and it’s brought it all back. Dh asked bil if he said it and bil just replied ‘well xxx shouldn’t be telling you that’. No apology and no fucking loyalty of dh.
When I challenged dh he said ‘what do you want me to do? Go NC and have nobody?’
If my family would have treated dh like this their would have been trouble, no way would I have let it go and if it meant going NC I would have. I just feel like a mug. And tbh feeling like leaving the lot of them behind - including dh