Help me tell inappropriate EX off!

[MongoAkimbo]

We split up over 8 years ago. Largely down to him being a compulsive liar. He would lie about EVERYTHING from where he’d eaten dinner to going on dating sites behind my back to lying about paying debts when he’d actually hidden them threatening letters in the back of a drawer. Glad to be rid of him.

Anyway a couple of weeks ago he sent me a friend request on Facebook. I’m married now and it’s been 8 years so I didn’t see the harm in it, especially as he appeared to be married now also. So I accepted.
A week later he sent me a message asking how I am and asking if I still live in the same city. I said I did and asked him the same. He said he’d moved 45 miles away due to work relocating him. He works in Morrison’s as a shelf stacker, they’re not going to relocate a shelf stacker 45 miles away so already I see the lies have started for fucks sake. Quick look on his profile suggests me married a woman there so why not just fucking say that??

Anyway, he asks if I’m still married. I said yes and asked the same. Finally he admits to being married but then says “but I’m not happy”. I say “shame” he says “are you happy?” And I say yes, yes I am.

He goes quiet for a week and then sends me a message saying “hi beautiful, what are you upto today?”. I ignore him. He then sends a message saying hi darling, love your holiday pics, did you have a good time?”

Now today ... “hi sexy, loving the pics of your dogs, they look a handful! Xxx”

Now I know I could just block him but I want to tell him off. About the lying, about the being inappropriate behind his wife’s back, about speaking to me like I’m some kind of fucking dolly bird he’s got on the side. He’s so fucking disrespectful to everyone around him, a complete coward that would only pull this shit over a keyboard because in real life he’s frightened of his own shadow. But I’m no good at being assertive reasonably. But I know you guys are ... how would you respond?

I was going to send “does your wife know you call other women sexy over Facebook messenger?” But it seems too passive aggressive.

Screenshot his messages and send them to his wife. let her tell him off.

Oh my god, just block him. It is not your responsibility to rehabilitate shitty men, and he’s absolutely not going to listen to you anyway. The only way to stop people like this from doing what they do is starving them of the oxygen of attention.

Yeah I’d just block and move on. And make sure your current husband knows exactly what’s been said (not saying you haven’t already) but it avoids the possibility of anyone stirring.

I was going to send “does your wife know you call other women sexy over Facebook messenger?” But it seems too passive aggressive.

But also why would this have any affect?

You’re better off ignoring him or telling him home truths if you really want to say something. But then block immediately. Don’t sit and wait for a response.

But in all honesty, unfriending and blocking will do the job.

He went on dating sites behind your back... and yet here you are messaging him, and still emotionally caught up with him. “Does your wife know...”??

I’d be more concerned about your own marriage. More like, “does your husband know...” If I found out my husband had done that you’ve done I would think he still carried a torch for the other person.

Block him, then think long and hard about why you spoke to him in the first place, and why his shit about his marriage and yours, and then calling you “beautiful” was enough for you to have already blocked him.

*wasn’t enough

I would screen shot it to his wife. Send her a brief message saying he treated you badly and lied a lot, you don't want to get involved and what she does with this info is totally up to her but you would want to know if it was your husband doing this. Block him

“It’s amazing isn’t it - in the 8 years we have been apart I have got better looking whilst you have got fatter and balder! Oh well.”

Then block.

Just block him.

Screenshot the messages. Send to his wife.

Screenshot the screenshot to his wife, send to him.

Just block that sends a message loud and clear, and protects you as Im sure your DH wont like these messages. With regards to his possible partner, you really cant involve yourself as an ex partner imagine the lies he will tell. Wash your hands of it.

Although before blocking I might be tempted to sign off with an “oh do fuck off” or similar.

Yep block him. He's gone way over the line.

Tell your husband and then block. He’s not worth your time. Remember when texts used to cost 10p and you’d think is this person even worth my 10p reply? Well in all honestly this person is not even worth your 10p reply. Block and thank your lucky stars he’s an ex!!!

He won't care.

I must have had this exact thing 100 times. Men from my past who have been married for a while and bored all of a sudden talk to me about being 'the one that got away'.

Block, it will damage his ego more than anything you could ever say.

I also do not think you did anything wrong by accepting him as a Facebook friend or having a brief catch up message. I would be openly telling a partner about this but if they were shitty about it I would not be Impressed.

Do just block. When I was single I reconnected with an old boyfriend on FB when I first joined (2007!) and he started up straightaway with the "You look sexy in your photo", "send me a private photo" stuff. He was married and his wife had just had their second child. I was so disgusted, I just blocked him without warning.

They're just not worth it.

Block and move on you getting emotionally involved.

I would call him a few impolite names and block straight away .
Dont send anything to his wife , if they have been together for 8 years she either will already know he is a born lier or is ignorant of the fact , either way it is not up to you to drive a wedge between them .

I think you should tell your DH about the contact just in case someone else brings it up.

Just block him. Why do you want to tell him off? Stop letting him send you messages, it’s a bit silly, isn”t it?

Message him back “Bored now - take care” and then block him

Tbh, your mistake started the moment you said “where’s the harm?”

Bluntly, (sorry) you’re an idiot! You knew who he was, you’re married, for zero interest in being friends so why on earth would you open the virtual door to him?

If I were married to you I’d go nuts tbh, and imagine if a woman had posted saying her h had sent a friend request to an ex- the roar of LTB would be audible on the moon!

You should have blocked him the second you thought he was lying again.

Block him Now, no more engagement on any level.

I wouldn’t put “bored now” as that could sound like you wanted entertainment from him.

Why did you even answer him in the first place? I have never understood why people have to be friends with an ex.
Just block him.

I'd unfriend and block. Why waste your energy on this idiot? He hasn't changed and he isn't going to learn anything if you tell him off.