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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my children to turn out like me?

0 replies

puddleduckmummy · 05/08/2020 11:55

Not in any terrible way but I am not a very assertive person and tend to not stand up for myself so end up being treated not very nicely sometimes.

I have an older sibling, there is a large age gap, who had a strong and forceful personality like my mother. Growing up I often did whatever I could to keep the peace and avoid disharmony. (Nothing bad, just my mother & sibling clashed due to similar personalities).

As an adult, I tend to assume the role of peacekeeper but I'm never sure if this is my natural personality or as a result of trying to avoid arguments as a child. I actively avoid confrontation, just the thought of someone being angry with me or something I've done makes me feel sick. I never pursued the career path I wanted to because my mum decided I which subjects and paths to follow. As a result, I've never been entirely happy in my career. Further compounded by not being really considered in my job.

It really irks me that I've got to nearly 40 and I'm so pathetic. I've suffered a lot of anxiety and depression which I'm sure is due to being such a walkover!

So my question is, how do I stop my children being walkovers too? How do I help them to be assertive and able to stand up for themselves?

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