To ask was anyone else slim as a child and teenager but overweight as an adult?

[thenamechange2020]

I was always slim and a healthy weight as a child and teenager. I was a size 10/12 at 16 years old, a size 12 at 18 years old and then at age 23 (my current age) I am a size 16-18 and my BMI is now 31.

It is quite a rapid change and to be honest it has really affected my self-esteem. I get quite anxious when I am in my hometown as I am worried I will bump into old school friends. It hurts because I know teenage me would be so shocked and disappointed if she could see how I look now.

Did anyone else gain a lot of weight in their early 20s? When I look around at friends they have mostly stayed the same - those who were very slim have remained so, those who were a normal healthy weight have remained so, those who were overweight have remained so. Both of my parents are overweight but they have been overweight their whole lives, including childhood. It kind of feels like my genetics have caught up to me as I am now the same clothing size as my DM and other female relatives. On the other hand I am hopeful that maybe it is just the result of comfort eating during a very stressful 4 years of university and once I settle into "proper" adulthood the weight will come off? I don't know.

Stress will do it, for sure, but there may be other factors. I was always slim up until I had children in my early 30s. I found it hard to shift my baby weight, and was much less active because of time pressure and sloppy habits you get into when you're busy, like driving everywhere. But the real killer was a horribly stressful job with ridiculously long hours that meant I was eating stupid things at stupid times, winding down by drinking alcohol, and treating myself constantly because I was feeling so bloody sorry for myself. I'm still trying to shift that weight, so take a tip from me and don't leave it too long, because it only gets harder.

But there are other things you could look at. I had always been generally active, walking a lot, using the stairs etc, but I didn't have an exercise habit as such. So when I came to need to lose weight, I didn't really have a sport or activity that I could fall back on. If that's you, you could do yourself a favour and make that habit now, whether it's something you do purely for the exercise like jogging or swimming, or something you build into your day, like cycling to work.

Finally, you might want to look at the bigger picture. A change in metabolism might have a medical cause, particularly if you have other symptoms like tiredness or feeling the cold, so you could see a GP and perhaps get some blood tests or advice. And you could look more closely at what made university so stressful in case the source of your stress could/should be eliminated, or to rethink the ways you respond to stress - also something your GP might have thoughts on.

I don't think you should feel embarrassed or be hard on yourself about your weight though. Everyone has stuff going on at various times in their lives, and anyone who looks down on you for that isn't worth bothering with imo.

I was very skinny as a child and a size 6-8 til i was 14 and puberty hit. Pros combined with depression and anxiety disorder caused my weight to balloon i went up to and 18 by the time i was 18 and have fluctuated ever since. I got down to a 14 at around 25 but I was walking 10-12 miles a day to work and back and living on chewing gum and coffee pretty much.

These days I sit around a size 20-22

My weight never really changed as I got older, however most my old school friends are totally different, many are now overweight post university. Unfortunately stress does that to us :(

Do you have children @thenamechange2020? I was a skinny child/teenager, my parents were quite worried and I look very thin in photos. Just genetics I guess. Slimish even during pregnancy but then the weight piled on. I have never been a big eater, but now have to regularly exercise to keep a cap on it.

In my experience the girls who were already a size 12 by the end of secondary school went on to gain a lot of weight. Those who were a 6-8 have remained slim. I doubt you’re the only one from school in the same boat!

I was slim as a child and teenager. I think food just wasn’t a priority as I had a good childhood and was always having fun so I didn’t really think about it. I had two children in my early twenties and developed quite severe PND and anxiety disorders. I’m not using this as an excuse but I was very limited by these in terms of going out and generally utilising my time. I think food became something I could enjoy and at the time it seemed like the only thing. Over time my body weight had doubled. I think with my illness I had become complacent and I didn’t care about anything anymore. Years on and I’ve lost weight but probably not in a good way. It’s all I think about. My health is better than it was but still a problem and I think I use weight loss as something to focus on. It acts as a distraction from thinking about things that I know are worrying me or making me very unhappy. I just brush those things aside and think about calories,exercise and getting numbers down. It’s quite simple really,if the numbers go down I feel elated and it becomes very addictive. As I write this I realise it’s a problem but it’s almost like I’m talking about someone else. I’m telling everyone on Mumsnet it’s a problem but not myself. I suppose there are certain things that I don’t want to take in. Crap marriage,ill health,no options,etc. Rather than deal with those,which seems impossible,I’ll think about weight instead. It should really tell me that things are bad that I’m now in size 4 clothes. It doesn’t though. Even though I’ve put it on here it still doesn’t sink in. Sorry,I’ve gone off topic a bit as I’m rambling,I apologise. I’m certain you’ll be fine once settled but please don’t let it become a big deal like I have. I promise you it’s not worth it

I was very thin as a child/teenager to the point it attracted comment

I probably started putting on weight at around 20 and then went away for a few months at 21 and went up several dress sizes - I was mortified! Being thin was definitely part of my identity

I didn’t really know what to do about it and I’ve been putting on weight ever since.. after this initial gain my weight settled around the top of the healthy BMI then I had my first child and i became officially overweight... some time after my second I decided to try and exercise the weight away and the muscle gain pushed me into obese category
I’m now around size 18 and despite small losses every now and then I just cannot shift the weight and I’m permanently hungry

I know fat people aren’t allowed to talk about genetics but I look exactly like the women in my mother’s family - body shape, hands, feet etc.. They’re from a particular ethnic group and a little while ago I saw some film of this group from the earlyish 20th century - the young women were slim, the older ones not.. anyone who tells you fat people didn’t exist 100 years ago is lying

You’re young - don’t follow any crazy diet and fuck up your metabolism, just try and cut down whenever you can, walk everywhere, love your body for what it is .. above all don’t read the fatphobic shit on here

I gained a couple of stone when I met my first husband aged 20. I'd previously always been slim. I lost it through dieting, gained it again when I had DS1 8 years later.
Part of the reason I gained weight aged 20 was a change in lifestyle; I went from clubbing and skipping meals to going to the pub and eating out.
My one friend from primary school is and has always been thin, despite having 3 DC.

Yes. Me. I hate what I've become. Always slim as a child/teenager. Size 6/8 when I started University and about 8/10 when I graduated and met my husband. Never thought about weight or had to worry about it. However, in my mid-20s I developed Polycystic Ovarian syndrome and the weight has just piled on. I got married at 30 when I was about a 12, and since then (and after birth of my son 8 years ago) I just feel disgusting and so unattractive. My confidence is at an all time low and any attempts to lose weight are futile. I am embarrassed that I have let myself go...

Yup. I was very thin until I was 28 and then I started piling on the pounds.

However in my case I definitely had an eating disorder from a young age. I was afraid to gain weight. I would starve myself and then binge, and I over-exercised, minimum 2 hours a day of strenuous exercise and hours of just general walking.

When I was 28 my body got sick of being underweight and dealing with this, so now, no matter what I eat, I gain weight and I've got low bone density which means constant stress fractures in my lower legs.

I was always slim - by modern standards I would have been a size 6/8 for most of my teens/twenties.

Between 29-36 I’ve somehow gained 3 stone and am now a vanity sized size 12 and not that far off the obese category (around half a stone). Health problems have played a part and inactivity. My metabolism is affected by my illness which affects my endocrine system. I also gained most of my weight following a coeliac disease diagnosis and once I stopped eating gluten, I piled the weight on.

Anyway for most people who gain weight as younger adults (early mid 20s), I feel it’s a combination of the following things;

Being totally in charge of their mealtime structure for the first time. Most university freshers gain weight quickly due to not living at home anymore and they have terrible eating habits (I teach at a university). Lots of frozen foods, cheap takeaways, unhealthy choices at the refectory. So whereas at home they might have dashed out to school on just a slice of toast or bowl of cereal, had a small packed lunch or healthy choice at the food policed school canteen and then come home to a home cooked meal, at university the day often looks different. Full English breakfast for £1.50, or a sausage barm cake and a latte from Greggs for £2.20, a tuna melt panini with a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke from the refectory for £2.50 at lunch, a cheap Iceland pizza and oven chips or wedges for dinner peppered with Starbucks or Costa coffee and cake or chocolate throughout the day. Then at the weekends lots of cheap booze, kebabs, takeaways, spending most of Sunday in bed completely inactive.

On that note; Alcohol in general! Going from not drinking at all to perhaps drinking quite excessively after 18 will like weight on. In my late teens, early 20s the biggest girls in my friendship group were also the ones who drank the most alcohol. It’s far too easy to drink calories!

Sometimes giving up childhood hobbies plays a part. If you attended dance classes or gym or figure skating most days after school and now you don’t or you were on school sports teams training after school, playing in fixtures and tournaments most weekends and then you stop, your body will change quite quickly as your fitness levels decrease.

Self discipline and responsibility isn’t quite there yet and the shops aimed at those on a lower income, as many young adults will be, often have cheaper unhealthy foods marketed as “good deals”. Chocolate, sweets, crisps etc all extremely cheap in Poundland. Mini pizzas and cheap sausages in Iceland sound like a better and less time consuming lunch option than making a healthy homemade soup or sandwich at home. Not many years before you’d have had a parent controlling what you eat, telling you “no, you can’t eat the entire multipack of mars bars and a family sized bag of Doritos as a snack!” but without that, some people struggle to no when to stop or how to force yourself to make healthier choices. Often the stricter a parent has been around food, the more the young adult will rebel.

If you can compare childhood to adulthood and see no differences whatsoever in your eating, drinking and exercise habits and you’ve other accompanying symptoms then it might be worth seeing a doctor to rule out a physical cause for truly unexplained weight gain.

Yes I was very slim and my mum was slim but constantly worried about her figure so I think it gave me a complex. I exercised constantly and picked at food like a bird.
I was diagnosed with a mental health disorder in my twenties. Between the ages of 18 and 30 my weight yo you'd depending on my moods.
The past few years I have been hefty but gradually shifting it- I can relate to not wanting to bump into old friends but try not to equate your self worth to your weight as it will set you right back.
The things I do that help to keep weight down are give up alcohol, track calories on myfitnesspal and walk at least 10000 steps a day.
The walking has really helped to slim my legs down quickly and has also helped my mood.
If you have stress walking is great for your well being. I also swim, I guess any exercise you enjoy will do. I find exercise decreases my appetite so win win!

“Put weight on”

“Struggle to know”

I really should preview before I post!

I know fat people aren’t allowed to talk about genetics but I look exactly like the women in my mother’s family - body shape, hands, feet etc.. They’re from a particular ethnic group and a little while ago I saw some film of this group from the earlyish 20th century - the young women were slim, the older ones not.. anyone who tells you fat people didn’t exist 100 years ago is lying

Same. The ethnic group my mother is from was primarily nomadic and with very athletic, muscular bodies. My mother and her sisters were slim and athletic when young, they played rugby, American football, basketball. My mother was semi-professional.

But once they got older, the weight piled on, same as others from the ethnic group of the same age. My mother has only kept it off through extreme exercise and an eating disorder.

If you read the new Canadian guidelines too obesity, they say it is highly dependent on genetics. obesitycanada.ca/

And yes. Mumsnet is horrendous for weight/body image issues.

ps Namechange84 makes great points about meal changes, alcohol and ditching hobbies...they certainly applied to me when I left school

I was a slim child/teen but gained lots of weight in my mid 20’s. I moved to another town which was more remote; therefore less public transport links so I had to drive everywhere instead of walking and using the train. The partner I was with at the time was a big drinker/eater so I fell into poor lifestyle habits. I had two dc, pursued my chosen career (which involves sitting at a desk for a large amount of the time) and stopped looking after myself because I was juggling so much.

I hit my early 30’s and realised I needed to make some very drastic changes. I cut out alcohol except the odd drink and joined a gym. I still have to work hard to maintain my (not so skinny) weight but I’m much happier in myself and feel much healthier. I have plenty of energy for my tween dc and have vowed never to allow myself back to that place of overeating and demotivation. There are times I fall off the wagon, but I just take a day or two of rest and get back on again. It’s tough at first but doable.

Yes I was a size 6 when I was 18. Then I went to uni and went up to a 10. I think just due to eating bigger portions (my family ate small portions) and my appetite grew. I'm now a 14/16 but I'm only 5'1 so I look bigger

Yes. Very slim till late teens and reasonably slim in my early 20’s and very overweight now.
My mother was the same. My daughter has the same body shape that I did as a child and I’m worried she will be the same.

I was a very skinny (borderline underweight) child / teen, partly because we never ever had treats at home (no biscuits, cake, chocolate or crisps).

At uni I was doing a lot of sport so I stayed slim, then started gaining weight in my 20s when I had an office job so was less active but still eating as much.

Now I'm in my 40s, have an overweight BMI and my brother is obese.

I do blame my parents for never letting me have treats. I think they became forbidden fruit and I never learnt to self regulate.

However, I know I need to move past that and take responsibility for myself and my relationship with food.

I was skinny as a kid & very slim as a teen. I put on a bit at uni but it fell off when I left. My metabolism changed around early 30s & Ive put on 3 stone.

One thing I noticed that until I got to this age I never gave a second thought to what I put in my mouth & are whatever I wanted. Many of my peers were counting & restricting calories at age 16. So I need to learn a new way eating which is hard as i love food.

Oh @thenamechange2020

I was skinny as a kid until I turned 19. I think doing loads of competitive sport and then stopping at 18 slowed my metabolism and I just gained weight. Before, I just ate what I wanted. Probably went from a size 6-8 to a 14 at my biggest (I’m 176cm) but i looked and felt dreadful.

At 24 I decided to lose some lbs. Dropped 3 stone over a year and I’ve remained the same for the last 10 years. I look at photos from me at 16-17 and I am exactly the same size as then and feel great. I have no idea what my weight was then (never weighed myself until I was 19!) but I reckon it’s around the same as now.

I think you need to find your happy weight. If you’re unhappy now, calorie counting and checking yourself/eating will resolve it. Most importantly though, be kind to yourself xxx

A good example of what can happen is me, and one of my sisters. Growing up were were both slim (normal?) weight. At home we didn't have really have treats/sweets growing up except for birthdays, holidays, etc. Nothing unusual.

I kept those habits of not eating treats/sweets over the years. I don't do a lot of exercise, have an office-based job, but do walk a bit. Have maintained a fairly normal weight.

However, my DSis has snacks a lot. She seldom has a cup of tea without a biscuit/bar (which means several per day). End result is she is "piling on the pounds" (awful phrase, but so accurate). She is in the gym, does some exercise, eats healthy otherwise, drinks but not a lot etc ... but it's really a case of regular snacking on junk.

Me too. Size 8 throughout teens and gradually worked up to size 18-20 aged 38. I feel like I’m borrowing someone else’s body that doesn’t fit me and I want my own back now! But I’m just coming to the end of a long but brilliant book which explains how genetics, hormones, our cultural shift to grazing and processed foods have caused our obesity epidemic. For once I could see how I got in this state and it wasn’t nearly as simple as ‘poor food choices’. It also explains how to reverse things: intermittent fasting to repair insulin resistance and lower your body’s set weight, along with cutting back on sugar and processed foods (except for celebrations, because humans have always celebrated with food - feast and fast. I like that part!) I’ve started 16:8 which has been remarkably easy, and am taking on his recommendations. It’s called The Obesity Code. The reviews on Amazon sold it to me. And honestly, I’ve read a lot of diet, ‘non-diet’, body acceptance, low-carb, paleo blah blah blah books and thought I knew it all. This book blew everything out of the water for me.

I was always slim - by modern standards I would have been a size 6/8 for most of my teens/twenties.

Same here. Weight started creeping on in my 30s. At 40 was diagnosed with underactive thyroid. Now size 12.

I was a very skinny and tall child and a size 8-10 at 16. By 18 I went to a 12 on bottom, but that was all bum and hips and by 23 I was a size 16. Lost some weight after first child and now a 18 and noticing more weight gain since I got to 30 a couple of years ago. I have always had a very good appetite and never was very active. My sister is the same with big hips and bum and works hard to stay a size 14. My mummy is a short size 12 with no hips and bum. I hate my weight, but have no motivation to lose it.