To think that raising kids without technology wouldn’t be a disadvantage to them?

[imsocoolyeahyeah]

Spent a long while at the start of this year tackling my 11 year old daughter’s screen-addiction, and almost all the hard work has been undone by this pandemic.

My mum got a new phone recently. She’s 80, only ever had simple phones with buttons because she insisted she didn’t need anything more. A quick read of the instructions and tips on screen and she’s using an iPhone almost as fast as anyone else.

Technology is no longer difficult to get a hang of. Everything is made as simple as possible. I’m starting to feel a child easier without technology, who is introduced in perhaps late teen years wouldn’t struggle to understand how to use it at all.

My kids were all raised with varying amounts of tech, simply due to the development of it as they grew up. My eldest DD (18) watched a bit of TV in the evening, and morning if she woke up early, maybe half hour on the computer every so often. She could happily play alone for a long while, quite often entertained herself, if not then she went out with friends on the street/to the park. Could take her to the cinema, or to a meal and she could always sit through it nicely. She was independent, too.

Tried to raise my youngest the same way, but it’s gone completely differently— all of the children in her age group seem to spend most of their time on their tech. No attention span. So fidgety/restless (sometimes becoming downright unpleasant) when away from tech despite the fact that my youngest DD is much calmer than my eldest was.

I know I’ve failed with the tech for my youngest, and we’re solving it, but it’s day and night when you compare the outcome. I feel as if she’d have been much better off having no access, or just in-school access until she was much older.

What benefits are there really? Entertainment? No one needs to be entertained all the time like this. I just can’t see how it can possible be healthy— flashing screens, bright colours, sounds, constant high intensity stimulation all the time.

The only issues I can see is potentially socially, since everyone has it now...

Yabu, kids need to know how to use tech or they'll be left behind from their peers.

Its your job to limit their screen time and make the most of tech available.

When i was a kid it was all about games consoles, whereas now it seems to be phones

I don't think it's the tech that's the issue. Its having boundaries set from the off.

I do think there is an over reliance on technology. My toddler recently expressed and interest in wanting to read, so I asked for recommendations on a mums group on resources I can make accessible for her. She is 3 and I included her age in the post. 99% of responses included either an app or youtube videos. I'm not saying those resources are bad, but there just didn't seem to be many other options.

I don't think it is bad for children to grow up with technology. They can learn how to use it and when it's appropriate to use it, without being attached to it 24/7. If they never have access, how do they learn to regulate their time?

And not everyone picks up technology really easily. I'm in my early thirties and still struggle with my phone. I can't even make a simple spreadsheet on the computer. I do wish I had a better grasp of technology, but that wouldn't have come from being plonked in from of the TV

Socially they will be left behind. DS1 is 11 and struggles with it - addictive behaviours and so on. But we wouldn't take it away from him entirely because he does get so much socially from it and he is not the most adept socially anyway.

There is one boy in his friendship group/year at school who is sheltered from some of this stuff, lovely kid, but he has struggled with feeling left out of things. I keep reminding DS1 to text him (he has a "dumb" phone) and invite him to things separately because to DS1 it's easier just to text (whatsapp) the group.

I do worry about the effect on their brains - I think it affects the way we process dopamine, actually.

Only if none of their friends had tech too.

It's not about being able to physically use the tech, anyone can pick that up even if they've never used it before. It's about understanding where they fit in the world and how to use them safely. It's all about teaching moderation.

Also the speed at which technology is progressing is staggering, you will definitely be disadvantaging them if you completely remove tech from their lives. Tech will be inevitable in most job roles and tbh a lot of jobs will be automated in the future it's already happening now. I'm a software engineer, this job market is growing quickly, I would have been severely disadvantaged if I'd not had tech around me while growing up.

I agree that tech is so easy to use nowadays kids can quickly catch up if they don’t use it early on. I have a 2 year old and we are keeping her off tech for as long as possible. We both work in tech and our pet hate is kids gormlessly looking at screens when out in public.

We accept tech is a huge part our lives and our child’s future life but I don’t think early access has any real benefits.

As others have said I imagine they’d struggle with skills/jobs etc in the future if they’re cut off from tech. What if things like coding became a necessary skill in the same way using excel or email is in office jobs now? Not saying it will be but just as an example.

And also at a younger age, relating to peers etc.,

I'm staying at my parents house tonight, in a room filled with the childhood toys they preferred to give me instead of what was normal. Like @BertieBotts son, I struggled socially, and doubly so for not being able to fit in.

I have promised that I will never put my own lack of boundaries or rule making prevent my children from engaging with THEIR zeitgeist.

OP, i thought you didn’t have children? I’m confused 😕

Personally, I can’t be doing with tech. I’ve a phone and a TV and resist all efforts to draw me into the multiple screens around our house.

But (I know, grammatically incorrect) you would be putting your kids at a huge disadvantage if they aren’t tech-savvy. However much I dislike saying so.

They can still wade in rivers and climb trees. They’ll just film themselves doing it 😁

I personally think it’s about the use of technology rather than a completely no-go. Everything in moderation.

There’s loads of interesting and educational YouTube channels but a lot of people just watch crap. There’s loads of brilliant coding apps which is a great career prospect (there’s money in it, lots of jobs, ability to work remotely and live anywhere in the world!) but playing mindless games for hours... not so great. There’s a great social side of technology but you’ve got to learn to navigate the dangers of SM. Even as an adult I sometimes start to feel a bit crap and when I assess why I realise it’s because I saw X influencer on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime trip and Z influencer buy a million pound house and I’m like, okay time to step back or unfollow accounts which set off these feelings. You can’t do that if you have no experience or education in it.