To be surprised that missing people could hurt so much

[wafflesandpizza]

I was working abroad for the first time, until I had to leave and come back to the UK abruptly in March. I had moved to Spain a year ago. I adjusted really well and made some of the best friends I've ever had, which for me was extra significant because I've often struggled with friendships. I had to leave so abruptly that I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone before I left. I loved my job, my friends, my city and I'm still coming to terms with the loss. I had hoped to be able to go back to see my friends by now, but so far that hasn't been possible and I don't know when it will be. I'm finding it really difficult, especially because I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I really miss them, a couple of them in particular. How can I move on?

I think when it's unplanned or unexpected it is worse, we've so little control just now too.

Could you actively focus on it, by doing some writing or drawing, maybe you've not got it out of your system.

Also can you contact them, a phonecall might be better than nothing?

It is a real loss, it's ok to acknowledge that.

Was it always a finite plan? If not, can’t you plan to return and live there again, even if Covid is currently playing havoc with plans?

This happened to me op. We emigrated to Australia and we were there for over 5 years. Dd and I came back to the UK for a holiday and Dh stayed to work. He was made redundant whilst we were over here and it was at a time where a lot of companies in dh's industry were pulling out of Oz so it was either a case of move to a different state or move back to the UK. As dd and I were already here, we decided to stay and just didn't go back. Dh packed up the house and sold up and then moved back.
It was really hard, It took a lot of getting used to as we weren't prepared for it. I too made some of the best friends I'll ever have. I'm sad I didn't get to say good bye. All I can say is that time is a healer and you have to move on and make yourself a life as soon as you can and keep in touch with your friends