Exercise in pregnancy

[MissHoney85]

I'm four months pregnant for the first time, a much wanted child conceived after two years of TTC and an unsuccessful round of IVF.

My DH is very physically active. He loves cycling, climbing, hiking, adventure sports etc. I've joined in with some of these hobbies, and all of our holidays revolve around them. I started running a few years ago and got addicted to it quickly. I've run several marathons and at my fittest could easily run 50 miles a week.

I realised that too much running was interfering with my cycles when TTC and eased off to about 10 miles a week. After becoming pregnant I stopped running altogether. I know that was probably unnecessary, I didn't have sickness and wasn't especially tired. I guess I was just being cautious. My resting heart rate also went up by about 10 BPM as soon as I became pregnant, and I started to get a bit out of breath going up stairs or small hills. I have made sure though to go for a walk every day, and since the 12 week scan have tried to regain some fitness by walking 10-14k steps a day.

We are now on holiday and have had to stop a lot of the activities we usually do, like long climbs and mountainous hikes. I get really out of breath walking up inclines and have to go super slowly. DH has been generally willing to adapt, though a bit disappointed, but has made a few comments about how I've got so unfit.

Today it ended up in a bit of an argument, where it became clear that DH thinks I've become 'sedentary' and have overreacted in the amount I've cut down. He's been reading articles about climbers who carry on climbing while pregnant and thinks that fitness is only impacted in the third trimester. He doesn't see how something so small can make me less fit, and the decline in my ability to walk uphill is all because I've stopped running.

I think basically he's worried that this change is going to be forever. I 100% intend to take up running again asap after birth and am looking forward to my child seeing me run a marathon.

Have I been excessive in the amount I've cut down? And / or how can I make DH understand better?

I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and the fits of energy that were supposed to come with the second trimester never came... and now I'm in my third. Although I wasn't a marathon runner, I did spinning 1-2 times a week, always did ParkRun, and walked everywhere. I massively struggled with fatigue, then low blood pressure, and not being able to exercise made everything worse as I felt strength disappearing - felt like I was losing my fitness and my body.

I think you are being extremely hard on yourself. Pregnancy is a huge process for the body to go through. There are days I feel like I'm my old self again, and then days like today where I went for a walk at lunch and had to sit down on a bench half way through...

I've got to a better place now by accepting that energy comes and goes, and to concentrate on what I can do. My mother very kindly paid for me to have a one off session with her personal trainer who is pre-natal trained and that was hugely helpful and informative (most online exercise classes are basically boring breathing). I'm now doing 30-60mins 5 times a week of safe weight training or cardio, it keeps my energy and strength up, I feel so much better. The PT was also very good at correcting my negative thinking - being tired and breathless wasn't due to being unfit, it was down to pregnancy and doing the wrong exercises!!!

Honestly I thought I'd be running through my pregnancy but that went out the window at about 14 weeks. Was so disappointing. Listen to your body! We went away last weekend and we did a 10km walk and a 5km. Felt so good to get a bit of distance in but I struggled walking up the hills and spent most of Saturday afternoon recovering from the big walk (it was worth it as a one off!).

Try and be patient with yourself. Do the right activities, little and often.

Your husband is reading extreme examples - they are absolutely not the regular experience. My mother played competitive squash up until her third trimester. She knew she was lucky and the exception. Don't beat yourself up!

I'm cautious about pushing myself as I dont know how I will know I've reached my limit

You will know; you shouldn’t be in pain or push to your max. But basically, if you could do it before pregnancy, you can do it whilst.

It might be good to talk to your health care provider as a lot of this sounds like a mental block; you may be worried that exercise will
harm the baby (it won’t) and may need that extra reassurance.

Second getting a trainer who understands pregnancy; if you are aware of certain dos and don’ts, you’ll be much more confident moving forward.

Second trimester is a great time to exercise and build strength!

@MissHoney85 I honestly think your partner is seriously out of order here. I am 19 weeks pregnant, and before pregnancy I, like you, was a super keen runner (marathons, club running, races every weekend, did the odd triathlon too). I kept running at a VERY low intensity until 15 weeks when I started to get stomach pain, so stopped. I won't start again now til after birth. I am still doing light swimming 4ish times a week and easy (ie less than an hour, flat!) walks. But no more, and if it's too much I stop.

Like you I struggled to conceive and for me the anxiety about the risks isn't worth it, and I know from long periods of injury I will bounce back when I can do more again after birth. This has meant changes to our holidays/weekend plans (ie no more extreme sporty-ness/long walks!) but my partner has supported that 100%. At the end of the day, 9 months out of a lifetime of fitness isn't a big deal. If he can't see that he needs to get some perspective!

I maintained basically the same level of activity through a large chunk of my pregnancies - I'm fairly active but nothing particularly impressive.

But even though I was doing the same things it was very noticeable that I was slower and more easily fatigued, so my regular exercise took longer. I could still do it but it was dramatically harder.

Your body is growing a whole new human being. This is really hard work and affects almost every part of the way you function. Your husband is an idiot if he expects your physical abilities to remain the same throughout.

If you don't feel able to or don't want to exercise then that's 100% fine. If it makes you anxious then that's also fine - you're allowed to prioritise your mental health by not doing things that feel risky to you even if they're technically 'fine'.

But - and I'm saying this just in case you want to do more - you mention harming the baby; that isn't the risk of exercise in pregnancy. All the risks are to do with the chance that you'll injure yourself, particularly because joints become more flexible in pregnancy and so injury is more likely. So if this fear of hurting the baby is stopping you do what you actually want and feel able to then you can feel confident you won't. However, again, it's about what you want and feel able to do, not about what your DH thinks you should be doing

@Hardbackwriter that's really reassuring to hear. I was wondering to what extent that was the case.

Thanks all for your advice, I really appreciate it. I feel like I've been a bit unfair in my representation of my DH, he is generally really good and has checked with me multiple times before each activity that I'm happy to do it, and accepted without complaint if I'm not. I guess we both just got a bit frustrated today! I will definitely seek out a good YouTube video though to help him to understand the toll that pregnancy takes in the first couple of trimesters, as I think his logical brain hasn't quite grasped that yet.

Honestly your DH doesn't get to make this decision. No woman knows how she will be for her first pregnancy or what she will feel like doing, physically and mentally.

Also, I would say that if you do decide to exercise then it might be worthwhile exercising differently. For example strengthening your core safely. This will protect your core and your pelvic floor, help you push the baby out and aid recovery after.

Have a look at the Bloom Method online or on Instagram, as an example:

I think what he needs to understand is that impact of hormones and of other impacts on the body (such as the increased blood flow). I think a lot of men think the impact of pregnancy is solely due to the physical weight of the baby and the bump and so only kicks in towards the end but that's not at all true. See also: my friend's (idiot) husband who thought that you should only gain about 9 pounds in pregnancy as that's what the baby weighs (no, he didn't know what a placenta was!), and who was astonished that I still had a bump three days post-partum because there wasn't a baby in there any more.

@Hardbackwriter yes I think that's very much it. I don't really have a bump and he knows the baby is only the size of an avocado or something, so he doesn't really 'get' how it can do things like make me out of breath. I think a good, well researched YouTube video would help him a lot. He is open to watching and learning something so I'll source one tomorrow!

I was pretty fit when I got pregnant with my first (at 35) but completely exhausted for the first 16-17 weeks, couldn't even go for a walk. After that I picked up and was exercising quite hard until about 8 months. I lost my baby weight quickly after delivery, and was back in my size 10/12 clothes. With DS2, I couldn't do any exercise, despite not having the exhaustion (on crutches due to symphis pubis) and I just piled weight on, and couldn't lose it post delivery. If you possibly can, I would try and do what you can, because trying to regain any level of fitness post baby is really hard. But it has to be at your own pace. Good luck.