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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In wanting to thump my childless sister when she says...

50 replies

tullytwo · 02/10/2007 08:21

"Oh don't worry babies are pretty adaptable ...just bring your blackout blind and you will be fine.."

This is in reference to a trip next June for my other sisters wedding and will be the first time dd has travelled and mine aren't the best sleepers when they are little.

I wasn't stressing about it just saying that b&b was out of the question as I wanted dd to have her own room so that she continued sleeping though.

I felt like smashing the computer screen at that point! (We were on msn)

OP posts:

cornsilk · 02/10/2007 09:40

But childless people are usually experts on parenting (in their own head.)

DaisyWhoooo · 02/10/2007 09:42

From what you've said though, it doesn't sound like advice, more like encouragement and trying to make you feel confident. She's doing pretty well if she knows about blackout blinds!

MaryAnnSingletomb · 02/10/2007 09:46

I think that it's a bit unfair to assume that all childless people don't have the slightest idea of how children should be brought up - they were all children themselves and they can look at things from an oputside perspective- perhaps not being as precious and near sighted as some parents can be.

lucyellensmum · 02/10/2007 10:33

childless people just dont get it do they?? In fact even some people with older children forget how difficult things can be. You are not being precious about your dd's sleep routine, heavens, its a fine art baby sleeping!! She'll find out soon enough and will come to her sister for advice i'm sure.

I refused to stay at BIL for the evening do as there was no where to go that was non smoking at the time and everyone was smoking so we left at the earliest opportunity - dd was one, they understood, its my child, my choice.

I'm miffed with my friends at the moment as i have cried off a night out tonight as dd has been poorly and her routine is off kilter, we have just managed to get it back online, nowi know my friends are thinking, why cant she just leave her with DP he will cope, yes he will cope, but dd will not settle herself for him and he will need to lay with her when she goes to bed, for hours, so for one thing, i dont expect him to have to do that when he has a cold, i also dont want dd to break her routine as it took us months to establish it, of course i3 just think smugly, you'll get it when you have your own1. 0

chocolatedot · 02/10/2007 10:43

I think YABU. For many who have children, it's difficult to imagine not being able to spend one night in a shared room at a B&B let alone if you don't have childrne.

glaskham · 02/10/2007 10:58

in my experience if you leave them in their rooms they will cry for attention the first night, maybe have a fuss about bedtiem the second and after that they will be fine (normally) we just took our two to london to stay with family for a few nights, daught is 18mths and just gone into a bed at home and wasn't impressed with a travel cot, and son was on a mattress thing on the floor, both slept brill after the first night!!!- if you have 2 weeks in the cottage they'll be no problems.....and you have 9mths to get them sleeping well at home as preperation!!!

Flamesparrow · 02/10/2007 10:58

Read the whole thread ladies!!! It is for 2 weeks - I wouldn't fancy it for 2 weeks

MaryAnnSingletomb · 02/10/2007 11:01

op should have said 2 weeks at the beginning, but then surely the child will have adapted to a sleeping pattern - I can't see what all the fuss is about

Bouncingturtle · 02/10/2007 11:19

Maryann - I agree with you, as a childless (at least for the next 12 weeks) person myself). Usually if someone asks me about parenting, I think back to when I was a kid and then ask my mum! For the record, my mum and dad took me all over the place, including spain when I was a baby and they had no problems - apparently at 3 weeks old I slept through an entire wedding! Even more impressive was my niece who at 11 days old slept through her dad's brass band concert
I think you are doing the right thing by checking the advice your sister is giving you by people who do have kids. Some childless people do give ridiculous and imappropriate (and usually unsolicited!) advice, but don't necessarily dismiss them out of hand.. sometimes the advice is down to good old fashioned common sense...

Bouncingturtle · 02/10/2007 11:21

I should qualify this with when you've listened to all the advice... go with your gut.
You know what's best for you baby.

muppetgirl · 02/10/2007 11:27

We took ds to an outside concert (he was 7-8 months?) where it peed down for a bout 2 hours. He was in his pram with the plastic covering on and an umberlla over the top. Warm blankets and he was fine. We tried to choose the side where the fireworks wern't but unbeknown to us until they started, they were about 20 feet away -ds never even stirred!
I have a great piccie of the pram and we joke about it being ds's first festival!

Next June is a long way away, why not try a few 'dry runs' and have nights away at friends/family rather than build this event up in your mind to the hell you think it'll be over the next 7 months!

Mumofmollyandjosh · 01/01/2012 16:03

I know exactly what you mean. It's like trying to take advice about losing weight from someone who'se a size 6. It's going to get your back up. She might be your sister, but you do have a right to tell her when her advice isn't necessarily helpful to you.

Pagwatch · 01/01/2012 16:05

This is a thread from 2007 !!!!!!!

Why bump this? How odd.

notveryinventive · 01/01/2012 16:07

Thats my thoughts Pag

I got confused when someone mentioned June being 9 months away then looked at the date.

Its over 4 years old. Its older than my DD1

WhiteTrash · 01/01/2012 16:11

YABU. Im with your sister, she'll probably be fine.

Although with my first baby I would stress hugely and unecessarily about going away. With my second hes such a terrible sleeper I cant see how itd possibly make it worse!

WhiteTrash · 01/01/2012 16:13

Oh yeah, whoops. Massively old thread, should have read the second half!

Mumofmollyandjosh · 01/01/2012 16:22

I am really lost Pag... can people see the posts I'm writing on - even the old ones? I'm totally new to all this. If I realised that, I wouldn't have done it because it makes me look neurotic!

foreverondiet · 01/01/2012 16:22

I have 3 DC and I might say similar.

I wouldn't pay extra for a baby to have their own room... plus its months away, mine were all bad sleepers before 6 months old and great sleepers once weaned.

You don't know how adaptable she'll be then either.

startail · 01/01/2012 16:33

UABU a little
The more adaptable you force your DC to be the happier life you and they will have in the long run.

Pagwatch · 01/01/2012 19:25

Mumofmolly
don't be paranoid.

I saw this thread because it came up in my active conversations list. I had no idea yours was the most recent post until I opened the thread.

People will only see your posts if they look at that thread. But if you post on a really old thread like this one it will make you look a bit batty a touch preoccupied with one issue.

lagrandissima · 01/01/2012 19:27

Just offer to let her have the baby in with her - after all, if babies are so adaptable, yours won't mind waking up with Aunty (at 4am) for one night.

lagrandissima · 01/01/2012 19:27

And I should look at the dates on the posts too!

PaintedToenails · 01/01/2012 19:27

I'm assuming the situation has been resolved as the DC in question will now be in primary school........

HandMini · 01/01/2012 19:35

Mumofmolly - if you're searching old threads for advice on something, you know you can start your own thread.

EllenandBump · 01/01/2012 19:40

I think any excuse to thump your sister (or brother) is a VERY good one. But i hate it when my sister seems to think she knows more about parenting than me... she is childless and has had no contact with children other than my little boy who she seems to think she can do better. I ALWAYS want to thump her. With children everyone is different. No one knows what a child will or wont do at the time. Sometimes they will go down without a problem in a strange environment another time they are absolutely dreadful to get to sleep. They are individualistic (better known as awkward!) x

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