Just us two at home. When me and exh split he spent equal time with both but as time’s gone on he felt unhappy at his dad’s due to his house being untidy, never food in fridge, dirty kitchen, washing not regularly done, hardly cooked proper meals, hence now with me but sees dad regularly and they have a good relationship.
He got let go from his job at beginning of lockdown and it’s become obvious he does barely anything in the house, will cook for himself, I will admit that as I was working from home 4 days a week for 8 weeks I did pretty much everything as I had the time. I’m now back working full time and he’s not doing anything, if I ask him to do a job sometimes he will, sometimes, he’s been “too busy” which means with mates, (2 of) they are at our house most days/eves, gaming, working out etc. He doesn’t stay in bed all day, he’s up and about early so that’s no excuse.
I’ve just got back from weekend away to so much mess it’s really upset me. Pile of dirty pots in sink (we have a dishwasher) 4 bags of rubbish by the back door, empty loo roll holders on bathroom floor, pizza leftovers on plate on sofa, dirty marks on a newly painted white wall. When he makes his food he leave crumbs all over the worktops, fry splatter marks on the wall as he doesn’t cover the pan, I just feel it’s so disrespectful when he lives in a nice, tidy house, washing done, clean clothes, cooked meal most evenings, fridge always full etc.
I spoke to him last night and he feels he’s done nothing wrong really, he thought he’d done a good tidy up.
I’ve wondered about threatening to take away the internet or stopping his friends coming round as punishment but is that childish?
I’d love some help on how I sort him out without it being a fall out as apart from this we have a great relationship ☹