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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In lacking sympathy for jet lagged colleagues?

35 replies

beansprout · 02/10/2007 07:16

A number of work colleagues have just got back from Australia. They have been at a conference for about 10 days.
All manner of arrangements are in place to enable them to get over their jet lag. While I have every sympathy with someone who is tired it does seem that the rest of us are being asked to be very accommodating, changing deadlines, rearranging meetings etc while us (poor old) working parents frequently come in after only a few hours sleep due to sick/usettled children etc etc - you know the drill!!

I have never travelled to Australia so I don't know what this sort of jet lag feels like. Can someone who has experienced both jet lag and a chronic lack of sleep for several years tell me how they compare and if IABU or not in lacking too much sympathy?!

OP posts:
MrCSWS · 02/10/2007 07:32

I have no sympathy with your colleagues! I travel for work and have been from Latin America in the West to Singapore in the East. I work with someone who comes from Sydney and works in Europe (he has another house in London but travels to Sydney and back 4/5 times a year). In all cases after coming back to the UK, we have NO time (bar the weekend as a maximum) before being back to work on a normal schedule. In fact, my colleague will fly direct from Sydney to London and then on to Dublin (where we work) arriving in Dublin at 8am and then start work!!

They should get a grip

YANBU

lizziemun · 02/10/2007 07:45

YANBU,

If they didn't think they can cope then they should have booked a days holiday so they could catch up on their sleep.

This has always been a bugbear of mine along with people who get so drunk at work do's/christmas parties then don't come into work the next day and nothing is said and they still get paid or lose a days pay.

NotQuiteCockney · 02/10/2007 07:46

Hmmm, I have some sympathy, I get jet lag very badly, and am quite rubbish when jet lagged. (And yes, I've had sleep dep as a parent - it also sucks, but in a different way.)

Thing is, they weren't on a holiday, they were working. I'd have less sympathy if they came back from a longhaul holiday, were jetlagged, and wanted people to accommodate them.

tribpot · 02/10/2007 07:52

Yes - NQC, that's what I was going to say. I absolutely loathe jet lag, and these people were working (although at a conference ) not on hols.

BecauseImWereWolfit · 02/10/2007 08:04

I would have some sympathy as they have been working - however, I have to say that I have made several week-long trips to Australia (for work) and the jet lag coming back has always been minimal. I have been tired, but that has been caused by lack of sleep on the long flight.

Jet lag coming back from New York is much worse!

So no, I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I do think it shows that you have a caring and considerate employer!

LilBloodRedWantsGore · 02/10/2007 08:22

I would have loved my employer to be like this. I "commuted" between England and Colorado, US, for three months - two weeks here, two weeks there - and by the end of it I didn't know what day it was, let alone what time it was. I would fly on a Sunday from Gatwick to Denver and be in the office Monday morning and then fly from Denver to Gatwick on a Saturday, spend Sunday with DH and be in the office on Monday here.

That being said, I do also have sympathy for you too.

LadyMacbeth · 02/10/2007 08:25

YANBU. No sympathy.

Like you say, parents have to cope on no sleep all the time. Your cossetted colleagues need to get a grip!

feelingfedup · 02/10/2007 08:47

sounds like they are milking it. Next time you overhear them moaning tell em it's good training for having a baby.

LilBloodRedWantsGore · 02/10/2007 08:50

It's not just a case of no sleep though. Their body clocks will be out of whack for a few days, that being said, they should get their arses into work!

unknownrebelbang · 02/10/2007 09:03

I'm hoping for a teeny bit of sympathy from colleagues when I rush back to the office after my holiday in America over Christmas.

Our flights have been changed and we now come back Monday rather than Friday, so no weekend to recover. I would take an extra day or two off, but I have deadlines that I will have to meet that week.

Original poster
beansprout · 02/10/2007 09:39

Thanks for your replies. I think I just feel that parental sleep deprivation is seen as coming with the territory, and of course "you chose it", whereas anything work related is often given higher credence!

OP posts:
oranges · 02/10/2007 09:43

I think that if your employer asks you to miss out on sleep, to work overnight, or do long haul travel, then he or she does have a duty to enable you to rest and catch up. It is different with children because your boss didn't order you to have them.

bookwormtailmum · 02/10/2007 09:45

I thought with jet lag you were supposed to keep up your normal routine and not give into it?

Speaking as one who is always 'out of it' flying back from Europe.... . I think it's the thing about being back on the left side of the road in vehicles after a week or two of being on the right.....

It's pretty nice of your employer to give the time though.

NotQuiteCockney · 02/10/2007 09:48

You're supposed to stick to a normal routine, yes, but it's wise to take it a bit easy, otherwise you are pretty much guaranteed to come down with a nasty bug or something out of exhaustion.

Millarkie · 02/10/2007 09:51

IME it's jet lag is more than tiredness (and I've had 4 years with an average of 4 hours sleep per night and a child waking on average every 2 hours (sleep apnoea)).

When I flew back from NZ to UK I had a weekend plus 2 days booked off work which I thought would be plenty of time to recover, but as it was I felt so tired I was sick after 2pm (once I was back at work), and for several days in a row I would get home from work and then find myself - several hours later, asleep on the living room carpet, still with my coat on and my work bag next to me.

Oh, and I didn't get to enjoy my NZ holiday very much as I was 'out of it' most of the time - felt like the tiredness you get with flu..horrid

I think I must be very sensitive to time differences though as it takes me a good month to adjust to the clocks changing from summer time to winter time

Hulababy · 02/10/2007 09:57

IME jet lag was a very different feeling to lack of sleep (DD didn't sleep through at all till 20 months, and then intermittently). The jetllag feeling for me kicked in mainly a couple of days after getting back from the holiday and lasted a few days.

When very jetlag I managed to lose my car keys IN the car itself! Was in work car park and was there 20 minutes trying to find them - had fallen under car seat and were really hard to get hold of. Was just sheer exhaustion. Also fell asleep at lunch time in staff room

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 02/10/2007 10:01

oo, no, I have sympathy if it was for work. I get lots of rude 'well you chose to have them' crap about the difficulties of parenting which I hate and isn't just, so I'd be a right moo if I didn't have some sympathy for them.

bookwormtailmum · 02/10/2007 10:05

My old company used to give extra holiday time and a discount on the trip for lower-paid people entering the inter-company ski challenge which was in Switzerland or Austria (forget where now). Everyone else just had to go into work as usual to get year-end completed whilst they whizzed down ski-slopes. That was seen as a life-style choice as well. It happens.

Original poster
beansprout · 02/10/2007 10:17

It's also just really obvious that a lot of people have gone to this one because it was in Australia. If it had been held in say, Berlin, I don't think anyone would have been killed in the rush!

OP posts:
melontum · 02/10/2007 10:53

DH went to Oz for a 1week business trip, he was ill with jetlag for 36 hours while there, and then he went to bed for 36 hours when he came home. He was SO completely wiped out. I would be sympathetic in your shoes (and yes, I have had baby sleep deprivation, too, but I honestly believe a relatively short trip to Oz and back is worse).

Anna8888 · 02/10/2007 10:54

YABU

Jet lag is horrible.

Judy1234 · 02/10/2007 11:01

I suppose the difference they put themselves out for the company and were at a work conference whereas if some of us choose to have babies or be up all night at parties etc it's not a work matter to the sympathy should rightfully be less.

There is nothing worse than being awake every night for 6 months every few hours often for hours at time by a baby who won't sleep and then work (except doing that and being home all day which is hell on earth and I've no idea why women choose that option... separate thread)... and jet lag is nothing in comparison, nothing at all. I have often had jet lag. It's not the same accumulated lack of sleep in any sense but I suspect over all more accommodations are made in the work place by childless colleagues for those with children than will ever be made about jet lag from work trips so I'd shut up about it probably at work or even be sympathetic.

alemci · 09/08/2013 02:43

I can sympathize with them. up now after arriving back from usa early this morning.

stayed up all day, went to bed at 9.30. woke up at 1. any tips anyone please.

NapaCab · 09/08/2013 02:58

Is it the public sector? Can't imagine any business with deadlines and profit margins to meet making those kinds of allowances. If business travel is part of your job, so is jet lag!

DH travels to Japan all the time for work and so do his team. Everyone's expected back in the office the next day as normal, some even come in straight off a long haul flight and do a full day's work.

So YANBU.

MidniteScribbler · 09/08/2013 03:12

I do the Oz to UK flight quite often, and I'm running full steam when I arrive on sheer excitement and I'll be out and about, go out that night. Then the next morning I'll sleep in and do things in the afternoon, then an early evening and I'm good the next morning. It's not extreme exhaustion, but I don't sleep on flights or at the airport, so I've probably been awake for over 36 hours by the time I arrive taking in to account the time I leave (around 2am Oz time) and then get to bed on day 1 in the uk.

I really don't see why it has to be a competition. "Oh my tired is worse than your tired" is just ridiculous.

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