Posting for traffic, TW (sexual assault)

[Allforall]

Hi everyone, sorry of this isn't the best place to post but wanted as much feedback as possible and to reach those who may know about the judicial system. There's no easy way to write this , so just going to get straight to the point. When I was 14 I was molested by a male who was 22 years old. I was asleep when the assault began and when I woke I told him no multiple times but he continued to try to molest me and tried to rape me- and in the end I went along with it. He did not manage to rape me, my friend came in the room and it ended.

I feel tremendous guilt I went along with it in the end. At the time police wanted me to press charges but my mum said not to as it would be a traumatic court case and they'd try to victim shame me. His family of course blamed me. His mother did apologise in the end and said she had endured similar by someone else , she ended up drinking herself to death. My mother believes it was because of what her son did.

My mother always talks about getting revenge on him and I worry she would do something reckless. I now have my own daughter which makes me feel even angrier when I think about what happened

I worry so much he will try to do this again. However I feel it's now too late to press charges ? Years later I did ensure a Marker was against his name to ensure he can't work with children etc. I am now in a place where I am considering pressing charges- but I'm worried nothing will come of it. When I was ten he was caught looking under my covers as I slept, he said he was looking for his wallet but I now suspect this was predatory behaviour again. Therefore I don't think his behaviour was a one off.

I know people will be angry I haven't pursued this and I apologise .The police wanted me to but I was a child and listened to my mother. Does anyone know anything about the justice system and if it would be likely justice would be served ? If so I will pursue this. I'm sorry for the essay.

Hi OP, I went to the police when I was sexually assaulted twice by someone is now a teacher. Don’t apologise for not reporting it, I didn’t for 7 years. There’s no length of time a sexual assault has to be reported within unlike a non sexual assault so you can still do it.

With my case, it never reached CPS as there was only circumstantial evidence rather than black and white evidence of admittance despite there being several witnesses to multiple admissions. My problem was these people were our friends, but we’re now my friends after the group grew apart over the years. His parents also lied to him admitting it whilst my parents told the truth and so it was a case of sides being taken. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing to go through, but I personally would urge anyone who can to report these sorts of crimes. If you can. And I’d understand if not. These cases take time and I had to push a lot to get it to the point of being reviewed prior to CPS.

I’m interested to know how you managed to get him black marked from working with children? Only because I haven’t been able to do that even after going to the police.

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and if I can help anymore just shout.

Yes.

I'm a cop and have taken initial details in the past of historic crimes that have gone on to be successfully prosecuted.

I'd never dissuade anyone from making a historic allegation but I'd be lying if I said it's easy. There's obviously no physical evidence anymore which makes things a bit harder.

Again being honest the court process will be a tough ride, the defences job is to discredit you which isn't pleasant.

That said you'll be believed by police and you'll be supported, every step will be explained which will give you confidence.

I think you're brave and wish you the best of luck whatever decision you make.

Hi princess and gobby cop. Thankyou for the messages . Princess I am very sorry this happened to you too. I managed to get a marker by his name by requesting it after reading about it. At the time of the incident I gave a statement , bit didn't go ahead with charges. Perhaps because of that statement this marker was enabled ? I am unsure, I'm so sorry I can't help further . You're so brave for pushing through for justice. I'm sorry it didn't have the outcome you had hoped for.

Gobby cop , thanks for your honesty and insight. The court case is a terrifying thought, so do you think it would be unlikely it would lead to a prosecution ? Due to no physical evidence ? The police I have statements to at the time of the incident wanted to prosecute him for statuary rape as I was a minor.

Hi,

It's really difficult to predict but the fact police wanted to go forward with it has to be seen as a positive.
Those statements will be filed somewhere so no reason they can't be picked up again at a later date.

I believe you but it's all about ultimately convincing a jury.

I hate saying this but court really can be a bit of a game (not making light of your situation).
So many variables can come into play it can be a bit random.

All to take into consideration but you'll make the right call I'm sure 🙂

Thankyou , Cop. I'm totally undecided. As you say, so many variables .