Have had only very short-term, pretty awful relationships if you can even call it that. Have tried OLD. No luck. I'm 30 now and I am feeling really pretty down about it.
I've only ever had feelings for one person, but he is completely out of bounds. Met him through work and we are just friends and will never be anything beyond that. We just get on so well, we completely get each other, he knows me better than anyone and he is a fabulous human, but he is married and has kids. And to be very clear, beyond the fact that I cannot imagine him ever being unfaithful (he very clearly likes and feels very close to me to, but that is it), I would NEVER pursue someone who is in a relationship. We are just work friends.
Lockdown has really driven home to me how lonely I am. I have a full life, I just wish I had a family. He has been the only person I have seen very regularly and as we've been alone, talking for hours and hours, we have become so much closer over the past few months. I think about him all the time. Which is painful and pointless.
Meeting him has been both great for me in that I know men like him exist and very sad in that I so wish I could be lucky enough to have met him years ago and have someone so wonderful in my life. To be married. To have children. To be loved.
It all feels a bit 'unfair' (God, I sound like a child...). How do I get that lucky? What is so wrong with me?