DP and I are both mid-twenties, I had DC1 when I was 18. We've been together for 18 months but there has been one issue that has plagued our relationship; he owns a house on the outskirts of London and I rent in the countryside. We live 1 hour and 15 minutes drive apart. I specifically moved to the country side from the outskirts of a city because I did not want DC1 to be brought up in that environment.
DC and I live in a rented 2 bedroom house in an idyllic village. DC attends a village school, we are close to my parents and his cousins who also attend the village school. For DC I feel like this is the perfect place to grow up worry free. On the other hand, there have been times when I have felt very low. I find the little village life boring at my age, I feel very stuck in a rut, wondering if this is all life has to offer. Single parenthood is hard. All of the other mums are at least 10-15 years older than me, as such it is difficult to find common ground outside of our children, and it has taken me almost 3 years of living here to make one mummy friend.
Mine and DP's relationship has been plagued by the 'living together issue'. He has all of his extended family living close by as well as a huge friendship group. He also has an easy commute to work (he lives near a London underground station). He has come to stay here for weeks at a time, but he finds the commute difficult, it is all trains and very packed, more expensive and takes longer. He also finds it difficult being here with no friends/family close by to interact with, and there have been times where he has had to take a breather because he finds being cooped up in my rented house with no 'escape' difficult. Whilst we have had some other minor issues between us and our relationship, for the most part I love him to bits.
We have just found out that I am unexpectedly pregnant. He was initially a real arsehole about it (I think from shock), and began listing off all of the reasons why he doesn't want the baby and broke up with me. I booked an abortion in for next week because I couldn't bare the idea of having a baby with an unsupportive partner and being a single parent again. A couple of days later he has come round, profusely apologising, saying he was very selfish and acted like an arsehole. He has said he will support me whatever I want to do, and he knows that I will find an abortion extremely difficult emotionally.
He's said his preferred option after giving it thought, is to go through with the pregnancy but that he wants me to move in with him. He owns a house with enough bedrooms and space for all of us, he earns a very good salary, so I would not need to work or would have the option to work part time if I'd like to. This would allow me to visit my parents and family very regularly so I would not be isolated from them. My parents are also young retirees so there would be plenty of options for them to visit me, as well as stay over in the spare bedroom. He has also said that he would put the mortgage 50/50 in my name, so it would mean financial security for me and that extra reassurance from him. We would have the eventual view to move back to the village in a few years.
I'm so at odds of what to do. It would mean moving DC1 away from my family, away from the lovely school, growing up somewhere that I didn't envisage. I can see the benefits as well, I'd have financial security, a wider friendship group, I'd be living somewhere with a lot more going on. At times I want to keep the pregnancy, at other times I don't. I don't think I should go through with an abortion right now when I am not 100% set on it. Has anyone had similar circumstances where you have moved to an area for your DP and how did it work out?