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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To unintentionally piss off the neighbours?

6 replies

FizzyPink · 03/08/2020 17:07

We’ve recently had our garden done, which due to the weird layout of our block of flats is on the ground floor but at the front of the property and our neighbours above look out their front window into our garden. They all have gardens at the back of their flats.

Before we had it done it was a complete wasteland that we couldn’t use as it was open to the street but it’s quite a big space. Now we have a fence and lawn and we’ve added furniture etc.

We’ve had a couple of BBQs recently (we bought gas specifically so smoke wouldn’t blow up to their flats) and we’ve sat outside in the evenings but never played music or been particularly loud and always make sure we’re inside by 11 latest.

The couple above us have voices like fog horns and I can hear every word of their conversations. They’re very loud and obnoxious and have lived here for years (ours is ex-council) and seem to think they rule the block. They’re obviously very upset that we’re now using our garden and I frequently hear the woman on the phone telling her friends everything we’ve had done and about the terrible fence we’ve had put up.

Yesterday we had some family over for a BBQ (8 of us in total) but they were gone by 9pm and we were just chatting during the afternoon, no music or anything. I’ve just been outside and heard her bitching to our next door neighbour about how loud we were being and how we’re disturbing her sleep by being out there.

They’re the type of neighbours who just like a moan and I suspect they’d have an issue even if we weren’t out there but would you go and say anything? She’s not said anything to us directly but it’s so uncomfortable hearing her bitching about us and not being able to defend ourselves!

OP posts:
JammyHands · 03/08/2020 17:10

Sounds as though she's envious. I'd ignore her. You are entitled to use your garden as a garden.

Wheresthebiffer2 · 03/08/2020 17:13

I'd ignore her. It would almost certainly get worse if you tried to explain or justify things. Keep head down and carry on.

FizzyPink · 03/08/2020 17:14

That’s actually what DP said. They’ve got their own garden at the back where they have BBQs but it’s not very nice so maybe she is jealous.
Interestingly while we were having it done 3 of our neighbours came over to the builders and asked them about doing theirs as well

OP posts:
JuniperFather · 03/08/2020 17:17

It's jealousy. Some people are weird. Do what you do, just don't take the piss

hadtojoin · 03/08/2020 17:24

When you know they are listening could you have loud moan about her either 'on the phone' or to your guests about having nosy neighbours watching you or being able to hear all their conversations and laugh about them.

Titterofwit · 03/08/2020 17:44

@hadtojoin

When you know they are listening could you have loud moan about her either 'on the phone' or to your guests about having nosy neighbours watching you or being able to hear all their conversations and laugh about them.
Yes - shes knows damn well that you can hear her and whats shes saying is for your ears more than her friends. So when she has her window open and you know she can hear you ,have your own (fake) phone conversations with friends about her using whatever language you choose. Heck - have several (but still fake ) - maybe even to the council / social services expressing doubt about her abilities to cope or whatever you think is her Achilles heel.
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