To not go?

[Fedupsister]

Supposed to be going to see family at the weekend. My sister has had a massive go at me via text saying when the family gets together I only speak to my mum and I don't help look after her child. I don't think either is true and I spend a lot of time chasing her child around. She's been really nasty. AIBU just not to go?

@Fedupsister

I was looking forward to going, I am working 9 ten hour days in a row at the moment and the weekend will be my time off and I was looking forward to seeing my family but now I'd rather stay home on my own!!!

Get yourself a good takeaway or posh ready real including (of course) dessert! And a nice bottle of wine and your favourite chocolates. Park your car a street away or two from your home (or put your car in your garage). Draw all your curtains and switch off your doorbell and phones. Draw yourself a lovely, scented, indulgent bath and watch a great film or two you've been trying to watch for a while. Even better if you have a TV in the bedroom so you can fall asleep where you are....

The day is about the people whose birthday it is. Why should they lose out because she's annoyed you?

Just go, behave as you always do, be nice to the birthday people.

If you want to, reply and say you're going and will talk to whoever makes conversation with you, that you will run around with her DC just as you always do, and you will not be having this conversation again.

You could buy her this...

Seriously - I'd say I was treating a fungal nail infection

Oh sorry, just saw that she's one of the birthday people. That's unfortunate.

or there's this..

www.amazon.com/Be-Unicorn-Not-Twat-Tracking/dp/1088483682?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I'd go, and when she tried to get you to look after your nephew, say 'I'm here as a guest too, you should have booked a babysitter.'

I'd be giving her a piece of my mind if I were you.

HER child, HER problem, especially if you're not even deemed competent to watch her DC without her direct supervision FFS.

A quick '' I'm here to catch up and enjoy some family time, NOT to be your babysitter !''

I think that you should challenge her and get everything out in the open.

My childfree Sister in her 60's has tried to rely on my children during lock down and tries to make them responsible for her MH. But as they point out to her, she ignored them growing up and they don't know her, as such. It galls me that she now wants to latch on to my children, because she would ignore us and only speak to my Mother.

But don't let it put you off going.

Only go if you really want to.
Let her know that you are not a free childcare service. Tell her you doubt if you would meet her stanards.
She sounds a right pain in the backside.
Whatever you do enjoy your day.

she only let's her husbands parents look after him on their own. Our family are not deemed competent enough. But we are all expected to help look after him when we have family occasions
Sounds like my elder sister when her first child was born.....i'd go over to mum's house when she came to visit - and it was assumed that i would take care of the children - i have 11 nephews and nieces between 3 siblings........the biggest pisstake was when i came downstairs to find the adults had fucked off somewhere and nobody had bothered to inform me - thereby forcing me into looking after them.

@monkeymonkey2010 this will sound bad, but I'm so glad it's not just me! And from the age of flipping eight!!

I've stopped replying now. She's basically saying no one has ever helped her with anything since he was born and we're all shit and I feel like that's really not true. I feel really sad.

Oh my, she's pulling out all the stops, isn't she? Leave her to her tanty and pity party. As with toddlers having tanties - never negotiate with terrorists.

Jesus, I mean, we've all been at the end of our rope, looking after dcs, but there is absolutely no need to keep ranting at someone, who is not even the child's parent. As a pp said, her child, her problem! That's kind of the deal, if you have kids isn't it?

Ignore her. Do not reply! You haven't done anything wrong at all.

Why should any of you help her look after her own child? Especially when she sounds so vile.

What is she doing with herself whilst you’re running around after said child?

The poor wee pet, having to look after her own child. How ever will she cope? Oh. Wait. The way 98% of parents do. . .

I just feel gutted because I've always tried to be really helpful, I understand it must be hard looking after a child although she does also have an absolutely devoted husband who is always there and doesn't ever need to be asked to do anything he just does it!!! I'm not going. F*ck this if Im going to spend my first weekend off in two months after working 80 hours in 8 days with someone who is being like this!!!

She's an utter Twat... do not engage with selfish self consumed Twats ..

Ignore Ignore Ignore 🌺