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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Possible work place sexism?

54 replies

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 14:47

I'm currently on mat leave and in the past month a more senior colleague has left my workplace, but due to covid they are not recruiting for the post. However, he had an important role that needed to be filled - one that one day I would have liked to have progressed to (although I had not expressed the desire to anyone previously)

There were 4 of us in his team, all at the same level and all equally qualified to do the job (the job needs certain professional qualifications and experience which we all had)

I found out through e-mail that colleague X had been given the role - although colleague X has not been promoted, just given the extra responsibility. I wasn't even aware that this was happening. In addition, colleague Y in the team was also given extra responsibilities (ones that I have no desire to do)

Obviously I'm on mat leave so unable to do this job currently, and as it is vital that someone does it, I do understand why they asked colleague X to step up to the role. However, long term this missed opportunity feels detrimental to my career. I am in a career that is very male-dominated at the senior level anyway and I feel this is one of the reasons why! In addition, in order to gain promotion I need to prove I am working at that level, which I have now missed out on, thereby making promotion harder to gain in the future

IABU - they need someone to fill his role which I can't do currently and its not even a promotion anyway, I should just forget about it

IANBU - I should speak to HR/line manager as this is how work place sexism starts. I should have been given the opportunity to express my interest in the role at least

OP posts:

theruffles · 03/08/2020 14:57

I don't think this is sexism - they needed someone to fill the role and asked someone to do it (possibly they asked other people if they wanted the extra responsibility and they declined?). You're on maternity leave and unable to fulfil the role/responsibilities currently, but it doesn't sound like they've picked the other person because they're male.

You should let them know that you're interested in progressing in that area and if anything comes up they may be able to ask you. If they're unaware that you're interested in the role in the first place, it's not very fair to accuse them of sexism when this doesn't sound like it.

Divebar · 03/08/2020 15:04

When are you due back? I’m presuming that they need someone to deal with the work now. They haven’t given the work to your colleague because he’s a man they’ve given it to him because he’s there. It’s no good staying quiet about these things - if you’re interested in opportunities you need to be proactive and put yourself forward.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 03/08/2020 15:16

FGS! YABU! You are not even back! 😳😳

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 15:17

Thanks both for your opinions, I honestly not sure if I am just annoyed that a colleague has been responsibilities that I would like.

With regards to expressing my interest in this role, in this case I didn't even know my colleague was leaving until just before he left (as I was on mat leave), so no opportunity to express my interest - I would usually do this.

I feel that the role wasn't given to him because he is a man, more that in my area of work it is well acknowledged that there is a huge gap between men and women in more senior roles and this kind of thing does nothing to solve that! This role will be for years, so what does a couple of months matter? We could have both been interviewed for the role and it offered to the best person, if that was me then my colleague/another colleague could have filled in the role until I'm back in a few months.

There were only the three of us suitable for my departed colleagues roles anyway and absolutely nothing has been mentioned to me, hence why I feel a bit discriminated against. Not all of his role needed to be replaced immediately (just the part that I was most interested in). I've been in regular contact with my line manager too (although this decision was not his, it would have come from someone more senior)

OP posts:

ivfdreaming · 03/08/2020 15:24

YABVU

You didn't express an interest in the role

You only wanted to do 50% of it anyway since you said some responsibilities have gone to colleague Y which don't interest you

You're on maternity leave so unable to fill to the role anyway immediately and the position is vacant now

And your complaining about sexism?!

To be honest you're the kind of person that puts people off hiring women in male dominated industries for fear for that any little thing they'll pull the sexism card

Trisolaris · 03/08/2020 15:27

I think you are not unreasonable to be concerned that this could lead to you missing out on an opportunity although it is understandable why they have arranged cover the way they have.

I would just make it clear in your next catch up with your line manager that when recruitment opens for that role you would like to be considered and are concerned about missing the opportunity to gain experience in this area due to your maternity leave. Could this be looked at as priority area for your personal development on your return?

BarbaraofSeville · 03/08/2020 15:44

You can't expect to be considered for a role/given tasks that you are unable to fulfill in the short term.

If they had done this, what would you have expected to happen? For them to just wait until you had returned from maternity leave? Cut short your leave and go back straight away so you can take up the new role?

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 03/08/2020 15:52

I'd say YABU unless you have already spoke to or sent an email to your manager explaining that you want to return from maternity leave early. If you haven't told them you're returning early then how can you expect them to consider you for roles that need filling now?

Crunchymum · 03/08/2020 16:02

I do think you are being a bit U.

No-one knew you have any desire to take on these responsibilities? You are on ML? The position wasn't actually being recruited for and by the sounds of the the person doing it hasn't actually been promoted?

I am not sure what you feel so aggrieved about?

TumbleBingQuack · 03/08/2020 16:04

I think the people replying to this don't have much experience in HR. To say that "you're the kind of person that puts people off hiring women" is awful - OP is well within her rights to have a baby and maternity leave, and is legally protected to do so.

OP, your company will have to inform you when they recruit for the role even if you are still on Mat Leave but there is a bit of a grey area with regards to just covering work in the interim. PP are right that you can't exactly cover the work while you're off, but that is not an excuse for your company to not offer you the opportunity for an interview for the permanent role.

The advice from PP to speak to your line manager and express an interest is good, and maybe try and word an email so you have it in writing, should you come to rely on it in future.

You are also not unreasonable to be gutted about your colleague gaining the right experience, regardless of the actual laws surrounding the issue!

whatever1980 · 03/08/2020 16:10

This is why fathers need to step up and take shared parental leave or commercial surrogacy needs to become the norm as not only do mothers miss out when on maternity leave but they're labelled as difficult if they dare say anything

Rainbowshine · 03/08/2020 16:12

If it’s anything like my work it’s all hands to the decks and there won’t be any extra money for the extra work. It’s patching up the holes to carry on as much as possible and keep the business going. Be glad your employment is still available to you for when you return!

rosiejaune · 03/08/2020 16:12

@theruffles

It's indirectly because they're male, because men don't go on maternity leave. If she had been in work they would presumably have had no excuse not to consult/consider her. So being on maternity leave shouldn't change that; she is still technically working there during that time.

TumbleBingQuack · 03/08/2020 16:28

Why should OP be glad her work is still there for her when she returns? It is the law that she is allowed to take Maternity Leave! Nothing to be grateful for and literally the bare minimum the company has to do.

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 16:34

Thanks everyone, seems IABU!

Still, I'll be speaking to my line manager to express an interest in this role/similar should it become available and discuss how I can get some experience when I return

OP posts:

Staplemaple · 03/08/2020 16:34

Has he changed jobs then, or is he still in his old post but just doing some additional work?

Laaalaaaa · 03/08/2020 16:41

You said it yourself - the work needs done. They can’t delegate to somebody who’s not there can they? As for colleague ‘Y’, you stated you had no interest in their extra responsibilities so I really can’t see how you can complain about that. Maybe your attitude of having no desire to take on certain parts of the role would have counted against you anyway.

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 16:41

@Staplemaple

Has he changed jobs then, or is he still in his old post but just doing some additional work?

Still in old post, having additional responsibility (supported by a more senior person). But it is probable that other parts of his usual role will have been delegated to more junior team members.

My worry is that if/when the job is advertised, I won't have had the opportunity to gain any experience

OP posts:

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 16:47

@Laaalaaaa

Colleague Y's extra responsibilities do not come from my departed colleagues old job, they are separate. But from talking to colleague Y, they were offered to him as he had no real interest in doing the role colleague X is doing, but was offered this as an alternative.

Why is it ok for X and Y to only be interested in certain roles but not me?

OP posts:

Staplemaple · 03/08/2020 16:50

Can you take a KIT day soon? They aren't supposed to contact you on mat leave, but you should have equal notice and chance to apply for job opportunities etc; but in this case they haven't strictly recruited for that job, although I can see why you feel like you're now at a disadvantage if it is advertised at some point. By doing a KIT day or even just a few hours you could maybe highlight your interest for the future?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 03/08/2020 16:54

Do you really want the extra responsibilities without the job title or the pay? Pretty big assumption as well that x had his own work delegated and not running around trying to do both.

It's all a pretty much moot point though if they needed someone NOW and you're not available (particularly if you have quite a bit of maternity leave left).

Ronia · 03/08/2020 16:55

They couldn't have done anything else in the immediate term but you also don't know if they have plans for distribution of work when you're back.

I'm any case don't be disadvantaged by this. Have a frank conversation with your line manager before you return to work about the additional responsibilities x and y have taken on and what you can expect to support similar development for you. Just be assertive about it.

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 16:58

@Staplemaple yes I'm planning on taking a KIT day soon, but due to COVID most people are still WFH, so makes it harder to catch up and have these discussions. Hopefully in the next month or so more of the workplace will be open so I can go in.

To be clear, X and Y will have been more than happy to take on these extra, more senior responsibilities as they are an opportunity to build evidence for a promotion in the future. And I think they will be both be excellent for the roles!

OP posts:

heartsonacake · 03/08/2020 17:02

@ivfdreaming

YABVU

You didn't express an interest in the role

You only wanted to do 50% of it anyway since you said some responsibilities have gone to colleague Y which don't interest you

You're on maternity leave so unable to fill to the role anyway immediately and the position is vacant now

And your complaining about sexism?!

To be honest you're the kind of person that puts people off hiring women in male dominated industries for fear for that any little thing they'll pull the sexism card

100% this.

Original poster

CupcakesK · 03/08/2020 17:05

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble it is an assumption, but not unfounded as everyone's work load is tracked and things reallocated to other colleagues to balance it out. In general, my area has a higher workload so some duties are often reallocated to others in other areas.

Also in my work place you can apply for a promotion once each year, but need the evidence to support this (which is quite substantial), so effectively you need to do the job without the pay and title before you get it.

OP posts:

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