Mil and dd allergies

[Mingo2010]

Aibu to think that after 2 and a half years mil should know that dd can't have some foods due to allergies? And not have to be told actually she can't have that!
It's not as if I haven't told her either

I've encountered this a lot from friends and family over the 20+ years of having my DD who has diagnosed food allergies/intolerances and AN. Some of whom I'd presumed were too well-educated to hold such odd views can be the worst.

Some people really don't accept what a mother says about their child's allergies or other medical diagnoses. They are convinced they know best and it's as though their brains stop working outside of their own often wrong opinions.

Why they think they know better than the medical professionals who diagnosed the allergies and other conditions is beyond me, but they do and nothing will change their minds, not even reading the medical reports. Nothing you can do can change their opinion. They will minimise, criticise and just go ahead anyway and treat the child as though the child has no allergies or other conditions, which can be life-threatening.

The safest thing you can do for your DD is to make sure your MIL and anyone else with her mindset is never in sole charge of your DD and is never in a position to give her anything that would cause harm.

Sorry to sound so defeatist, but it's been my experience of having tried everything to educate them over the years that I'm wasting my breath to even try and discuss allergies etc. with the people who have that mindset.

I don't let her have her alone, she's been reminded so many times, I'm not sure how many more times I have to explain it to her, not sure if she's thick or trying to wind me up to be honest

I’ve been there, and I cannot understand it for a minute. What’s the most important thing you need to remember about my child and your only grandchild?

They might die if they eat x.

It should be the simplest, easiest thing to remember and yet the number of time’s I’ve heard “oh yeah” on the topic astounds me.

Thankyou for your replies I'm glad I'm mot over reacting. Her dads family want us to go to a get together and have a bbq but I can't go without worrying about what she might eat if my backs turned for one sec ( obviously I'd have to go to the loo ) and her dad tends to " not notice " things. Mil pointed out she had to go and buy strawberries yday which is one of the fruits my dd can't have !

None of his family understand her allergies quite often I'll get " surely a little bit won't hurt " etc x