Partner doesn't help with rent money

[curlyhairdiva]

Hi all,
So basically me and my partner live in a rented property. Since moving in last year, I have been paying the rent (650 a month) whilst my partner pays the bills. We agreed on this arrangement before we moved in cause I earn a little more than him and at the time I was doing okay. However recently I have been struggling financially and after the total rent comes out I am left with very little money to live on and buy things for myself. Meanwhile my partner seems to have saved up loads of money and doesn't offer me any towards the rent (he knows I've been struggling). In fairness he has been saving up for some items which we need like a new bed, but when I asked him for a small contribution towards the rent just this month he got quite irritated with me, saying he was hoping to get some things for our flat and that I need to be more careful with my money. I am left feeling quite hurt because it seems like he doesn't realise just how much money I pay compared to him. Am I being unreasonable for getting annoyed at this situation?

You need a joint account. You need to treat both your incomes as your joint income regardless of how much you earn. Rent and bills gets paid from the joint account and whatever is left is for both of you! No his or hers. Imo it doesn’t work. I have been in a relationship like this and it sucked. With my partner there’s no mine or his it’s just earnings to run our home, run our cars, eat and provide for our kids and whatever is left over (not a lot at the minute tbh).

Joint account needed! We find what works for us is to each put 50% of our wages into the joint account for bills, food, occasional treats like nights away or take aways or any communal expenses, then we put 30% into joint savings accounts for big purchases and the remaining 20% of our salary is our own to spend on whatever we need. That way we can still get things we want together and individually without anyone getting hard done by.

why the fuck did you agree to that in the first place?
Common sense says you either split 50/50 or proportionally based on your incomes.

You should have known after the first couple of months that the bills are nowhere near £650 a month - so why did you allow it to carry on?

Are you really that desperate to keep a man in your life?

I agree we need more info to give a fair opinion what is the totally of bills? Who pays for the food shop?

Joint account NO NO too late for that you made a mistake OP by suggesting you would cover the rent but it doesn’t entitle your OH to take advantage he could of declined and paid his fair share. So you earned slightly more at the time so what.

How on earth can so many people confidently state the op is getting a rough deal when they haven’t posted any details of salaries or the bills her partner pays?

He's taking you for a ride, as others have pointed out. I wouldn't be splitting proportionately with him; pay 50/50, why should you subsidise him when there seems very little commitment from him? You've nothing to show for keeping a roof over his head; he can walk away with 'his' furniture and he's well set up for starting again.

@PurpleTigerLove

Set up a joint account for rent and bills ? If he doesn’t agree to this then your relationship is doomed . Best to find out now so you can part ways before you have children .

Why is it doomed? My parents have been married for 43 years, they have never had a joint account, and they are both very happy

Sit down and do a full i&e to ensure equitable, division of costs and equal disposable each.